Lessons in Forbidden Love
by xsecretxkeeperx
Summary: We always want what we can't have, but their love was so much more than temptation. What do you do when you fall in love with a student? That's the question Edward has to ask himself as he falls for his favorite student, Bella. AH
1. Happy Early Birthday

**A/N: After a failed search to find a teacher/student romance that didn't have naughty school girls and the jumping of bones, I decided to write this little number. There will be lemons later in the story, but I wanted to explore the emotional relationship between a teacher and his student when they fall in love, as opposed to the physical lust that claims center stage all too often. I hope you enjoy their struggle.**

_**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

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~*~Happy Early Birthday~*~

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**Bella**

I looked myself over in the mirror and sighed. Senior year was finally here. Normally, I couldn't care less about what I wore to school, but that was before I'd had class with _him_. Today my hair was styled, I had light make-up on, and I was wearing a dark blue blouse - Edward had told me once that blue looked nice on me - and a pair of designer jeans that my best friend had bought me.

I had no idea how Alice and I became friends. I didn't really fit in with kids my age, but Alice and I just clicked. It was strange, seeing as she was a shopaholic and I would rather pull my hair out than spend a day at the mall, but we still worked. She completed me, as ridiculous as that might sound. And she was the only person in the world who knew about my embarrassing infatuation with Edward Cullen.

Alice never judged me for it even though it hindered me having a boyfriend. I just couldn't get him off my mind long enough to like someone else. And I knew that it was completely wrong of me to think of Mr. Cullen in that way, but I really didn't care. No one would ever be able to see my daydreams about my teacher and it wasn't like we could ever be together anyway. It was just nice to fantasize. And I fantasized a lot.

I first met Mr. Cullen in January just after school reconvened after winter vacation. He was twenty-two and fresh out of college. It was his first year teaching. He was ambitious and took on AP Lang for seniors, so I didn't have class with him, but he also decided to put together a Literary Magazine in second semester where students could submit their writing. My junior English teacher thought I would be perfect for editor of the magazine, so I applied and got the position.

From the moment I saw my bronze haired mentor I knew I was in trouble. He was gorgeous, not in the regular hot guy way, but more beautiful like a Greek God. His emerald green eyes pierced through every barrier I built up and I felt like he was staring straight into my soul.

Yes, he was perfect, but I'm not a shallow person. I would not have fallen in love with him if he hadn't been so much more beautiful on the inside. He was so unbelievably kind and generous, not to mention how smart and funny he was. He had a temper that I would see occasionally, but that just made me fall harder. It stemmed from him being passionate about what he loved.

We also had a lot in common. We would have hour long conversations over composers, books, and what was going on in the world when we should have been reading student poetry. We just got along so well. I was never as comfortable with anyone as I was around Mr. Cullen and after a month of working with him on the magazine he told me to call him Edward when we were outside of other students.

I knew that he never saw me the way I wanted him too, but there were moments when I thought maybe he might. I was quickly brought back to reality, but I still couldn't help the longing for him to hold me the way one would hold a girlfriend as opposed to the handshake or pat on the back I got at every hello and goodbye.

He was always perfectly professional around me, but if you really thought about it, our relationship was anything but professional. Teachers aren't supposed to be friends with their students, but that's exactly what we were. We were friends; just friends.

I sighed again and headed outside to meet Alice. Alice and I rode together every morning and since her parent's bought her that Porsche she'd always wanted I hardly ever got to drive my truck anywhere. But I didn't complain too much. Gas was expensive and Alice was rich enough to afford it.

When I got in the car I noticed the familiar look in Alice's eye that I had come to dread. I was perfectly fine with Alice having money as long as she didn't spend it on me. That didn't stop her though. I groaned when I realized she bought me something.

"Oh, don't be like that, Bella," she pouted. "It's not like I don't have a reason this time! Your birthday is next week for crying out loud. You're going to be eighteen! Live a little, will you?"

"Yes, Alice, but I told you not to buy me anything for my birthday, remember?" Alice rolled her eyes.

"Did you actually think I was going to listen to you? Wow, Bella. Maybe you should get your head checked out, because you're obviously delusional if you thought I would miss out on a chance to buy you something." I sighed. There was no way I was going to win the argument. I never did.

"Alright, then. Where is it? I know you're not going to wait until my actual birthday to give it to me, so let's have it."

Alice reached blindly behind the seat as she drove and pulled out a shoebox. Inside were a pair of gold flats that went perfectly with my outfit. There was also a gold bracelet and a pattered blue purse with gold trim. Alice grinned like the cat that ate the canary and I had to laugh. Alice had a knack for knowing things, like what outfit I would wear and the fact that I was dressing to impress.

"Thank you, Alice," I beamed as I kicked off my worn out tennis shoes and slid on the flats.

We pulled up to school and Alice headed off to find her man. She and Jasper had been going strong the past year and a half and although I was happy for her I was also jealous. She was so in love and Jasper loved her just as much if not more. I was in love with a man five years older than me and who, by law, I could never be with. Not that he'd ever want me in the first place.

There was still twenty minutes till class started, but AP Lang was my first class and I was excited to see Edward again after three months apart. He was sitting at his desk when I entered the classroom and the second he saw me his face broke out into the crooked grin that I loved so much.

"Bella! How was your summer?" I couldn't contain my smile. I had missed him so much.

"It was fun. Alice dragged me all over the country for a few weeks and met a guy named Jacob down at La Push. My dad says we used to hang together when I came to visit when I was younger, but I don't remember him. He seems nice enough, though. He's the first person my age that I can connect to besides Alice." There was something strange in Edward's eyes that I couldn't place, but I brushed it aside.

"So, you like him then?" He gave me a suggestive smile, but it almost seemed forced. I must have been imagining it. I laughed at his implication.

"Yeah, right. Jake's cool, but we're just friends." Edward seemed to relax a little, but I put it off as being my imagination again. Then his smile faded a little.

"You'll find someone eventually." I sighed. I already had found someone. It was just too bad he didn't want me back.

"Yeah, I suppose," I said and shrugged. "So when is LitMag starting up? I think we should get a head start this year and start right away." Edward laughed at my enthusiasm.

"I had the same idea. We'll need to find a new crew since everyone except for you has graduated. You're still interested in being Editor, yes?" I smiled at his hopeful expression.

"Of course! LitMag is my baby!" Edward laughed again and I laughed with him. It was so nice to be able to talk to him again.

"Alright, well I want to start as soon as possible. You're going to have to help me get flyers and presentations together. Did you want to start today after school or tomorrow at lunch?"

"Today's good for me," I said a little too quickly. He laughed so I relaxed.

We chatted for a few more minutes before the class started to fill and I had to take my seat. AP Lang went by faster than I would have liked and it seemed like time all but stopped when it came to my other classes. School was so frustrating, especially since Alice and I didn't have any classed together until after lunch.

Finally, the bell rang and I no longer had to listen to Mr. Anderson drone on in AP Government. I quickly went through the line grabbing a fruit salad and a water and went to wait for Alice. She strolled in with Jasper five minutes later and sat down with her tray.

"Alice, I'm dying without you. You need to switch classes." She laughed at my pathetic attempt at a pout.

"It's your own fault, Bella. What did I tell you about all of those AP classes? I'm not killing myself my senior year of high school and you're only killing yourself because you want to impress Romeo."

I glared at her. She was technically right, but there as more to it than that. Edward made me see how much potential I had and I wanted to get into a good college for myself as well as him. I wanted to make him proud of me. I know it sounds stupid, but it made me feel closer to him.

"So, am I ever going to find out who this Romeo guy is?" Jasper inquired.

"No," Alice and I both said at the same time although Alice said it a lot more gracefully than I did. I was just so mortified by someone finding out that I overreacted sometimes. Jasper raised his hands in surrender.

The rest of the day passed unbearably slow, although having Alice in both PE and Spanish helped a lot. She always knew exactly what I needed. I was in the middle of telling her why I couldn't go shopping with her after school when the bell rang. I couldn't help the smile that plastered itself on my face. Alice sighed.

"Okay, then. I'll just take Jazz. Call me when you get done and I'll pick you up."

"No problem," I called over my shoulder as I was already out the door. Edward was waiting for me with everything set up by the time I arrived.

"Hey," he said as he walked to me with last year's magazine. "I pulled the unsold copies from storage and I've also got a list from Mr. McCarty of students who are qualified and interested."

"Awesome," I replied and we worked diligently on preparing announcements and presentations.

We got a lot done in the two hours that we actually spent on the magazine, but pretty soon we drifted into catching up with each other. Five o'clock rolled around and Edward told me to wait a moment before I left. I sat in a chair as he dug around in his desk for a few seconds and came back with a small plain white box. He knelt down before me and handed me the suspicious object.

"Now, I know your birthday's not till Monday, but I can't wait that long."

I didn't know what to say. I never expected in a million years for Edward to get me anything so I stayed silent and just opened the box. Inside was a first edition copy of Romeo and Juliette with my name on the cover in gold leaf. It was stunning and it looked like it must have cost a fortune. Before I could stop it, a traitor tear rolled down my cheek and I tried to wipe it away before Edward could see. I didn't do a very good job.

"That bad, huh?" he laughed and then he softened his tone. "I know it's your favorite story and your old copy is falling apart at the seams."

Whenever I was around Edward I always double checked my movements and words, but for some reason, all rational thought evaded me and I launched myself into him. He hesitated a moment, but then he wrapped his arms around me and rested his head on my shoulder. It was the first time he had ever touched me that way. It was wonderful.

"Thank you so much, Edward. I absolutely love it." I pulled back and smiled at him. He seemed to be having some internal conflict and I ached to help him resolve it, but just as soon as I saw it, it faded and Edward smiled a small, almost sad smile.

"You better call Alice." I nodded and he went to go pack up everything.

I tried Alice five times and Jasper three before I figured that neither was going to answer their phone. I was a little upset, but more than that, I was worried. Alice didn't usually flake out on people. I shook my head to clear it. There was no use getting anxious over anything. Alice probably just put her phone on silent and forgot, but then the question became how was I getting home?

"Is something wrong?" Edward was all packed and ready to lock up.

"Alice isn't picking up," I sighed. Edward furrowed his brow.

"Is there anyone else you can call?"

"No, my dad is working late tonight and Jasper won't pick up either. Ah! I really don't want to walk home in these shoes!" Edward seemed to be struggling with himself again. I wracked my brain trying to think and then it came to me. "Jacob!"

I dialed Jakes number and he picked up on the second ring. "Hey, Bells!"

"Hey, Jake. I'm so sorry to bother you, but I don't have a ride home and Alice put me in fancy shoes again." He laughed.

"No problem, I'll be there in fifteen." I sighed in relief and turned to Edward. "He'll be here in a bit." Edward smiled and walked me out to the parking lot.

"I'm really looking forward to having you in my class this year, Bella. I love reading your stuff. I still don't know why you refuse to submit anything to the magazine." I smiled. Edward always encouraged me to get my work out there, but I was too self-conscious for that.

"It wouldn't be fair to the other students. You and I decide who gets in and we're both biased."

"I speak nothing but the truth," he scoffed, but smiled all the same. "So, any big plans for your birthday?"

"Nope. Alice is upset because her fake ID got confiscated last week and she doesn't have time to get a new one to take me clubbing." Normally, I would never talk to a teacher about fake IDs, but Edward was different.

"I'm sorry." I laughed at his sincerity.

"Don't be. Me and dancing do not mix. Clumsy, remember?" I said, pointing to myself. Edward was about to reply when a loud rumbling noise broke through the quiet evening atmosphere. Jacob came into view riding a large motorcycle. I gasped. "Jake! What the heck happened to the Rabbit?"

"Oh, well," he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I kind of had the engine ripped apart when you called."

"Jeez, Jake. You're trying to kill me." I sighed and turned to Edward. "This is Jake. The guy I was telling you. Jake, this is…uh, Mr. Cullen, my favorite teacher." I blushed at almost introducing my teacher by his first name.

"It's nice to meet you, sir," Jake said extending a hand. Edward didn't take it.

"Do you have a helmet for her?" Jake nodded and Edward reluctantly turned to me. "I'll see you tomorrow, Bella. Be safe."

I watched as Edward walked to his car a few yards away. It always hurt when I had to say goodbye. I turned to Jake and held out my hand for my helmet, but Jake just shook his head.

"Nope. I found out your birthday is on Monday and so I'm going to give you your present early." I sighed. Jake was as stubborn as I was and I really didn't want to fight over something as stupid as a gift.

"Alright, go get it," I said and looked to see that Edward was still waiting in his car. I turned back, but Jake hadn't moved. "Jake, where's the present? I don't have all day, I'm tired and…"

In the blink of an eye, Jake's lips were silencing my own. I was in shock. It didn't even register for a few seconds and when it did, Jake was already trying to deepen the kiss. The sound of Edward's Volvo speeding off brought me out of my state of disarray. I pushed against Jake and slapped him hard across the face. When I turned, Edward was already long gone. Great. It looked like I was walking home after all.

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**A/N: ****T****hanks so much for reading! I'm a huge fan of constructive criticism, so if you found a typo or hate my use (or misuse) of certain grammatical properties, let me know. I love to hear what my readers are thinking, whether you loved it or want to poke your eyes out from the utter horridness that is my writing. *grin***


	2. Boundaries

**A/N: I'm overwhelmed at the response to this story. Thank you so much for all your reviews! Here is Edward's POV. The story will jump back and forth between the two lovebirds.**

**__****Disclaimer****:** _All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

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~*~Boundaries~*~

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**Edward**

I shouldn't have waited to see that eager little boy kiss Bella, but I did and now I was driving around trying to get it out of my head. I shouldn't care! It's wrong to feel that way about a student, but unfortunately I did feel that way. And there wasn't a damn thing I could do to stop it. I don't even know how it happened.

Of course, I found her attractive when she walked in that first day of LitMag, but it was easy enough to push aside those thoughts. I found several women attractive, so I could easily discard the beauty of a seventeen year old girl. What I hadn't been prepared for was how smart she was, or how much I had in common with her.

I always prided myself on being complete within myself. I never needed anyone to make me whole. But then this girl comes along and she pulls me in like a magnet to metal. There was a deeper connection there that I had never had with another human being before. Within a month, I had come to know her more personally than I should have dared and in a stupid weak moment, I told her to call me Edward.

It sent my stomach into a flurry whenever she said my name and I knew right then that I had gone too far. I tried to push her away the following week, but I just couldn't. The look on her face whenever I brushed her off was heartbreaking. It seemed that for whatever reason, Bella felt a connection with me too.

I knew that it was nothing more than that of a mentor or a friend, but it still hurt her when I pushed her aside. It wasn't her fault that I had those stupid feelings for her and I couldn't see that pained look on her face anymore, so I allowed myself to get closer to her. I honestly thought that the feelings I had would fade or at the very least, stay stagnant. I never expect my feelings to grow without me realizing it.

I was doing a good job at keeping my distance. I never let anything more physical than the occasional pat on the back happen. There were times when I had the opportunity to hug her to console her or congratulate her, but I never did. Our relationship was purely conversational. But today hit me by surprise.

I knew that she would like the book and that it was probably blurring the edges of our relationship just a bit, but I never expected Bella to outright throw herself at me. I tried to not hug her back, but my body moved of its own accord and when I held her in my arms, it just felt right. I wanted to hold her there forever, but as right as it felt, I knew how very, very wrong it actually was.

When I looked into her eyes, I almost crumbled. I thought I saw something there, but I stopped myself from thinking that way. Part of me needed her to want me, but the other part needed her to stay away. I had to have her in my life and if she for some reason felt the same way I did, then I would have to shut myself off from her.

The small lapse in restraint had passed, but she said she didn't have a ride and I was struggling again. Our relationship had never left he confines of the school. If I drove her home, another line would be crossed and I had already crossed too many. Then she called Jacob and as relieved as I felt, a small part of me was extremely jealous of the casual nature in which he could be with Bella.

I wanted so badly to be able to hug her openly, to take her out somewhere. I knew this great little playhouse in Seattle that I knew she would love, but I could never be that free with her. In a few years when she had finished college, maybe I could really be friends with her, but for now, she could only be my student. Jacob could be her friend and more.

When she first told me about Jacob, I had to struggle to keep my voice light and ask her about him. Again, I was battling with myself. I couldn't have her, I knew that, but it didn't mean that I wanted someone else to have her. When she told me that the kid was just a friend I was ecstatic, but then that stupid kiss.

Why did I stay? Why did she lie about him? Why did I have to love her so much? What am I talking about? Love? Really? I was losing my mind. I didn't love Bella, I couldn't. She was just some student that drove me absolutely insane. I was fascinated by her and that was all. That had to be all.

I had been driving in circles for several minutes. When I finally focused on where I was, I realized I had gone the complete opposite direction of my apartment. I just sped off, not caring where I was at or where I was heading. I just needed to leave. But I needed to go back now. It was time to go home whether I wanted to or not.

I flipped the car around and headed toward home. I had to pass the school on my way and I cringed when I thought of Bella with that boy. I didn't want to know what they were doing, but like the curiosity that causes you to look at a train wreck, I looked any way.

I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't what I was seeing. No one was in the school parking lot, but just down the street was Bella walking home with Jacob trying to get her on the bike. My heart leapt. Maybe she didn't lie to me after all. I tried to squash the feelings of hope, but they were too strong.

I watched for a few minutes waiting for my light to turn green. Bella looked angry and turned to the boy every few feet to yell at him. I couldn't help but laugh. Bella was stubborn and if he did something to upset her, there was no way in hell she was getting on that bike. Finally, it was my turn to go and I pulled up beside Bella.

"Do you need a ride?" She stopped in her tracks eyes wide and I could tell that she had been crying. She didn't say anything, but got in the car and tried to wipe away her tears. I couldn't control my angry tone as I spoke next. "Did he hurt you?"

Bella turned to me and it took me a second to realize the fury in her eyes. I had seen that look only three times before and I knew what was coming, but I was still surprised at the force behind her rant. I was also amused, but I'd be damned if I'd let her know that.

"He kissed me! Can you believe that? I've known him all of a month and he says he has an early birthday present for me and kisses me! What makes him think that he can just go around kissing people that don't want to be kissed? Ugh! I could murder him!"

I couldn't contain my laugher anymore. I was giddy at the fact that Bella hadn't wanted the boy to kiss her and she was too adorable when she was trying to be threatening. It was a rare outburst and I loved it every time I saw it.

"What are you laughing at, Edward? This isn't funny! If you hadn't shown up I would be walking home right now!" I calmed my laughter and looked over at her.

"But I did show up and you're fine."

In a brazen move, I reached out and squeezed the hand that was closest to me. I knew it was a wrong the second I touched her, but it was already too late by that point. Bella turned to me, biting her lip, with what seemed like a hopeful look on her beautiful face. It was hard to focus on the road. Every line that I had so carefully constructed was beginning to crumble and fall and I couldn't let that happen.

I pulled up to Bella's house and said a quick goodbye, but I couldn't look at her. There was something about being with her that made me do things that I would never do otherwise and it had to stop before it got me in trouble. I liked what I had with Bella and I couldn't ruin it. I didn't think I could survive without it. She seemed a little dejected, but it was better that than have her know what a disgusting jerk I was.

I drove away and didn't look back. When I got far enough, I pulled over the car and slumped over the steering wheel. When I gave in and let our friendship happen, I didn't think that I could feel so much more than I already had. I never felt about anyone what I felt for Bella and it scared me to death.

I knew I had to do something before I let my feelings take me over so I called up Emmett. Emmett was another English teacher at Forks High and he was also my best friend. When I started last year he took it upon himself to show me the ropes and it helps that we were the youngest faculty at the school. Emmett was twenty-seven and the youngest teacher after him was in her mid-forties.

Emmett picked up on the third ring. "Eddie! What's happening?"

"Hey, man, can you come over? I really need someone to talk to right now." It was hard to get the words out. Asking for help isn't exactly the easiest thing to do.

"Are you okay, Edward? You never let me call you Eddie." I knew the fact that I didn't whine about his little nickname for me would get his attention.

"No, I'm not. I just…My life is falling apart, Emmett. Can you come over or not?"

"Yeah, man. I'll be there in ten."

I hung up with Emmett and drove as fast as my car would drive back to my apartment. I had no idea what I was going to say to him, but I knew that I needed someone to help me through this. I had a year left with Bella in class and in LitMag and I couldn't do it alone, especially not this week when we would be working just the two of us together on the magazine.

I would never do anything to hurt Bella in any way, but I had no idea where my lines were anymore. It was as if she was my addiction and I desperately needed a sponsor.

When I got in, I grabbed two beers out of the fridge and sat on the couch with my head in my hands waiting for Emmett. I heard the door open and close and then footsteps and the chair being sat in, but I never lifted my head. Emmett opened his beer, took a drink and then set it on the table. We sat in silence for another minute.

"Come on man, your mood is killing me. It can't be that bad." I looked up. I don't know how my face looked, but it convinced him. "Okay, maybe it is that bad. What the hell happened, Edward?"

"I…I'm in so much trouble, Emmett." I buried my face in my hands again. "I don't know what to do. I thought…I don't know what I thought, but it wasn't this."

"Dude, you're scaring me. Is it trouble with the cops? Did you get involved with some shady characters or something?" I shook my head. There weren't words for how disgusted with myself I was.

"A girl. She…I didn't know it would get this bad, Emmett!" I looked up and Emmett seemed confused.

"Okay, did you get a chick pregnant? Is that it? I mean, I know it's bad, man, but it's not the end…" I cut him off.

"No! I'm not with anyone, but I want to be and that's the problem." Emmett was getting annoyed.

"Dude, just spit it out. I can't help if I don't know what the hell is going on!" I took a deep breath. I had to just get it out there.

"I need you to take over LitMag for this week at least. I can be there some days, but it's better if I stay away." Emmett was more confused than ever.

"I thought you said this was about a girl? What the hell are you talking about LitMag for? The only girl…" He stopped abruptly and I saw the realization cross his face. "Oh, my God, please tell me you aren't…that you didn't…she's fucking seventeen! What the hell is the matter with you?"

"First, she turns eighteen in six days," I don't know why I had to start with that, "and I haven't done anything! I can't change how I feel, that's why I need your help! I know I'm a sick bastard, okay?"

"Damn it, Edward! I know you two were close, but this? She's your student! She looks up to you! How did this happen?" Emmett was furious, as I knew he would be, but I also knew that he would do everything in his power to help me.

"I don't know. I just…I'm drawn to her. I've never…Ah! I don't know! I felt a connection with her the moment I met her, but I put up walls! I never let myself get too close. But today, I just…I can't take it anymore, Emmett. I'm in love with her!"

The second I said the words out loud I knew I couldn't take them back. I couldn't deny the truth any longer. I was in love with Isabella Swan, my student. A student who trusted me more than any other person and I go and betray her trust by falling in love with her. I was a monster. And Emmett was staring at me like I was from a different planet.

"Edward, you can't mean that." I said nothing. "Fine, I'll take over LitMag this week, but that's it. You've got to separate yourself from her. You are the teacher, she is the student. Remind yourself of that every second. And her too if need be.

"If you really do love her, it'll be hard as hell, but you have to do this, man. No more talking about anything other than school related topics. No more first name basis. No more friendship. You are her teacher and that is it. Do you understand me?"

All I could do was nod. My voice wouldn't work. My friendship with Bella meant a lot to her. Not as much as it did me, but enough to where I knew I was going to have to hurt her. Just the pain in Bella's face when I destroy our friendship would be enough to kill me, but on top of that I was severing ties with the one person in the world that I couldn't live without.

Emmett patted my shoulder and left me alone. He was barely out the door before I broke down. I had lost her. I got in too deep and now I had to push her away. I felt myself slump over on the couch and just let myself cry. I didn't know how someone could feel so much pain without being physically hurt. I had never been more broken in my life and I knew that it was only going to get worse.

I looked out the window and noticed that the sun was coming up. I didn't remember the night passing, but I don't think I actually slept at all. Slowly, and with aching muscles, I made my way to the kitchen and put on the coffee. I was going to need it. The rest of the morning passed in a blur as I showered, dressed, and drove to school.

When I got to my classroom I made sure to keep my door locked, knowing that Bella would most likely be there early. I couldn't face her yet. The first bell rang and I let in my students, including a very confused looking Bella. I didn't look at her much after that. I glanced her way a few times, but I did as Emmett said and reminded myself that she was just a student. That's all she could ever be.

When class was over I grabbed a stack of papers and left for the copy room. I knew Bella would want to talk to me, but when we had our talk I wanted it to be in private. I refused to humiliate her in front of her peers. She would be hurt enough as it was without the added embarrassment.

I found Emmett in the copy room when I got there. He stared at me for a good three minutes before I gave in and stopped ignoring him. I knew he was just worried, but I really didn't want to talk to him. In some way, I blamed him for what I would have to do to Bella.

"What?" I snapped. He shrugged and I sighed. None of this was his fault. "Could you give me a few minutes to talk to her before you come for LitMag?"

He nodded and then I left. The rest of the day passed in the same manner as my morning. A tornado could have hit during third period and I wouldn't have known it. Before I would have liked, the bell for 'school's out' rang and I found it hard to control my breathing. Normally, I would set up for the meeting, but I just couldn't.

The students cleared out of the classroom and before no time at all Bella came in with the most breathtaking smile on her face. I took a deep breath and steeled myself for the inevitable. I knew I looked cold and unfeeling, but it was better that the tears that I wanted to cry.

"Hey, Edward. Where's all the…" I cut her off because I didn't think I would have been able to do it if I listened to her talk anymore.

"It's Mr. Cullen, Bella."

I watched as her face changed from confusion to comprehension. Her smile faded and she looked absolutely devastated. I braced myself. This was it. This was the end of my life.

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**A/N: There you have it. Edward is a little bit intense, is he not? It's why I love to write him so much. Thanks for reading!**


	3. Killing Me Softly

_**Disclaimer****:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

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~*~Killing Me Softly~*~

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**Bella**

When I walked into the classroom for LitMag I half expected Edward not to be there. He had been avoiding me all day and I was starting to get really confused. He was a little distant when he dropped me off in front of my house the previous day, but before that we were just Edward and Bella. He laughed as I ranted and then when he took my hand I was sure I saw something in his eyes.

It might not have been what I wanted it to be, but it was more than just a teacher being with a student. It was like, for the first time in our odd little relationship, we were friends. Actual friends. Not to mention the hug and the gift. It just didn't make sense for him to be avoiding me, so when I saw him sitting at his desk, I wouldn't have been able to hide the relief in my face if I tried.

I surveyed the room and it was completely normal for a classroom. That was strange. Edward always set up for the meetings in advance. "Hey, Edward. Where's all the…"

"It's Mr. Cullen, Bella."

I didn't even hear the words at first. I was more focused on Edward's emotionless tone and the cold look on his face. Then, realization hit me like a ton of bricks and could feel every muscle in my face fall. There was nothing I could do to stop it. He had been avoiding me. Had I done something wrong?

"I don't understand." I knew that my voice sounded weak, but it was taking all the strength I had to stay calm and not jump to conclusions.

"Bella, we need to talk." He motioned for me to take the seat next to his desk and I did so. I had a feeling I wasn't going to want to be standing for this 'talk.' "Bella, I need to apologize to you. I let the professional relationship we had fade into one of friends. I'm not you're friend, Bella, I'm your teacher and should be regarded as such."

I could hear the words he was speaking, but they weren't penetrating my defenses. He wasn't my Edward. The Edward sitting in front of me was detached and unfeeling. Just yesterday, I felt like our relationship had grown. It didn't make sense for him to cut it off so abruptly.

"But, I would never undermine you. You know that, don't you? I mean, did I do something to upset you? If you just tell me, I'm sure I can…" For the first time I saw the tiniest bit of something emotional cross his face as he interrupted me.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Bella." And then it was gone and the stone-like Edward was back. "But anything other than a strictly teacher/student relationship is wrong. You need to make friends your own age, Bella. It's not healthy for you to spend so much time with me."

Now, I was annoyed. No, more than that, I was angry. I spent my time with him because I wanted to, not because I had to. Where did he get off telling me to get a life? Because that was exactly what he was trying to say whether the words came out of his mouth that way or not.

"I do have friends my own age," I said through clenched teeth. "And it's not like you're so much older than me. You twenty-three for Christ's sake! Yes, five years is such an age difference!"

I knew I had crossed the line when I raised my voice and the sarcasm surely didn't help my case. I realized my mistake immediately, but it was already too late. The damage was done and I had sealed my own coffin. I had just proven Edward's point.

"You will show me the respect I deserve as your teacher, Miss Swan, and nothing more. I am not your friend whether I'm five years or fifty years older than you. Do you understand?"

I said nothing. He had never called me by my last name before. It was so impersonal and the words he spoke didn't make sense with his tone. I felt like he should have been angry, but he almost seemed saddened by what he was saying, although, there was barely any emotion to speak of at all. He was truly shutting himself off from me and I didn't know why.

I nodded, knowing that I had to answer in some way, but I was far from understanding anything. There were so many questions that I needed to ask and yet I could think of nothing to say. I was in shock by what was happening. He didn't want to be my friend. But, no, that couldn't be it. He bought me that book.

Only a friend would know what my favorite story is and that I needed a new copy. And only someone who _wanted_ to be my friend would buy me that copy and personalize it for me for my birthday. If we couldn't be friends then why would he do that? It was so hard to think. My brain was yelling at me to say something, but my heart was screaming for me to run.

The pain I felt was surreal. I knew it was there, but I was strangely numb to it. It was just sitting in the back of my mind, waiting to break free and obliterate me. I think I opened my mouth a dozen times only to hear muffled breaths of air leave my body. After what seemed like hours of deafening silence, Edward stood.

"I'm so sorry," he said in a whisper and then he left.

I sat there, alone in his classroom, trying to deny what had just transpired. It didn't work. It happened. And as if to add insult to injury, Mr. McCarty walked in to deliver the next blow.

"Hey there, Bella. Looks like we're going to be working together this week."

Mr. McCarty grinned at me. He was one of those fun teachers that everyone loves a lot, but respects more. I tried to smile back, but I was still trying to process everything that was going on. I'm sure it wasn't very impressive. I shook my head to organize my thoughts and then I registered what the overly muscular teacher in front of me had said.

"You're working with me and Mr. Cullen?" I asked, but I already knew that that wasn't right.

"No, Mr. Cullen has some prior engagements to take care of this week. I'm his fill-in." I nodded. "So, what are we doing here?"

"I, uh," I looked down at the folder I had put together for LitMag and tried to focus. "We're trying to put a new staff together. I was thinking of getting a few more juniors involved so that there is a base for next year. Also, I was thinking we'd predetermine next year's editor and have them shadow me."

Mr. McCarty nodded and we continued from there. I centered my attention on the magazine for the rest of the meeting. I didn't want to think about Edward until I was alone or with Alice. It wasn't going to be easy and I didn't want my breakdown to happen in front of a teacher.

Finally, after an hour of deliberation, Mr. McCarty and I had come up with a staff of four seniors and four juniors with a junior named Marina Davis to be next year's editor. I wasn't familiar with any of the eleventh graders, but I did know all of the seniors. I was excited to be working with Angela and Ben and even a little with Eric, too. Not so much with Lauren.

Mr. McCarty let me go and I picked up my things and walked to my truck. I threw my bag to the passenger side, hopped up into the cab, shut the door, and buckled my seatbelt before everything came crashing down. Violent sobs shook my body as I realized that I had lost the little piece of Edward I had.

Since the day that I met him I had counted on him for more than I could name. I went to him when college applications were making me crazy and when my mom had been in a car accident down in Florida. He was always there for me, but it wasn't just the fact that I could lean on him when times got rough. I had plenty of people for that.

Edward brought something into my life that I didn't know I was missing. Of course, I always dreamt of having someone to feel that way about, but I never expected it to happen. I was independent, I always had been, but when Edward came into my life it wasn't like being close to another person, it was like being close to my other half. He was a part of me.

I knew that there was no way he would ever feel the same as I did, but I was happy with the way we were. I needed it. I didn't know how I was going get through the rest of my life without him. But I was going to have to because that's what he wanted. Or was it? Ah! I was so confused! His actions and his words didn't make any sense!

I pounded my fist against the steering wheel. It didn't take away the pain, but it let out some of the frustration that came with the hurt, so I hit it again. And then I hit it again and hit the door with my other hand. A minute later I was thrashing around the inside of my truck beating anything I could get my hands on.

I was so out of it I didn't even hear the door open before I felt tiny arms wrapping me in a hug. I let my body fall into Alice's and cried with everything that I had. She rubbed soothing circles on my back and whispered hushed words of sympathy, but little was going to console me in my state.

After what seemed like hours of nonstop emotional torture, I was finally able to calm down enough to notice reality again. Alice was holding me in my truck in Forks when she should have been at her new job opportunity in Port Angeles. She had to rearrange her schedule and get seventh period free to be able to do it, but with Alice, anything was possible.

The way she got the job was luckier than four-leaf clovers and horseshoes combined. When she went shopping, a hot designer who was based in the city overheard her spouting about stupid fashion trends and what really should have been fashionable and decided to offer her an afterschool internship. It was the reason Edward had to drive me home.

"Alice, what are you doing here? This is your first day!" She shushed me and continued stroking my hair.

"I had a feeling that today was a bad day to start, so I called and Beth said it was perfectly fine if I started tomorrow." I stared at my best friend in amazement. She always knew things before they happened, but I didn't think I would ever get used to it. "Now, why don't you tell me what happened."

And I did. I told her every detail. I described the look in his eyes, his tone. I played back everything he said word for word. Alice didn't interrupt me once. She just let me get it all out there. When I was finished, she looked about as confused as I felt.

"I don't get it," she said in a huff. Alice was used to knowing things and she got extremely frustrated when something was beyond her. "I mean, I know men are fickle, but he went from hot to cold in no time flat. It doesn't make any sense."

"Maybe, he just got tired of me." Alice gave me the look she always gave me when I talked low of myself.

"Yeah, Bella. He got tired of you in less than twenty-four hours. One minute, he's buying you romantic literature and the next he's…oh."

I knew that look. Alice had a face for everything and the position it was in at that moment was the one she had every time she got a 'feeling.' She knew something.

"What, Alice?" I asked anxiously.

"Ugh, I don't know exactly, but there's definitely something more to it. I think maybe…" She looked at me nervously. "You know what? Never mind. Forget I said anything."

"Alice." I hated when she did that. I could handle what she had to say.

"I think it might have something to do with your feelings…or maybe…"

I could feel my breaths getting shallower. I had never even entertained the notion that he figured out the depths of my affection for him, but the idea certainly made sense. I didn't think that I let my love show through my friendly act, but that had to be it. Why else would he have changed so suddenly?

"Don't, Bella. Please, calm down! I'm probably way off base, okay? Just let it go for now. I'm not sure about anything and I don't want to lead you down the wrong path. Will you just hang back for right now until I figure it out?" The pleading look in her eyes convinced me and so I gave in. I would wait to see how things played out and not dwell on assumptions.

Alice and I talked for a few more minutes, but my emotional outburst from earlier was starting to catch up with me and I could feel sleep trying to drag me down. I assured Alice that I would be fine to drive home and she left me.

Thoughts of Edward laughing at what he probably thought was just a silly schoolgirl crush flashed through my mind. I knew that Edward would never be that type of guy, but in the moments of possible humiliation, your mind tells you irrational things that you believe only because it's the worst possible outcome.

On the drive home I envisioned Edward bragging about the student who thought he was a dreamboat. Then the vision expanded to where the entire school knew of my embarrassment and then it got to the point that I would get expelled for my inappropriate infatuation with my teacher.

When I got into the house I had wound myself so tightly that I barely made it to the bathroom before my lunch decorated the toilet. After spitting and sobbing into the porcelain bowl for several minutes, I fell back and leaned against the tub. I had to pull myself together. It was stupid to work myself up over something that I wasn't even sure of.

"Are you alright, Bells?"

I opened my eyes and notice Charlie standing in the doorframe with concern etched on his face. I hadn't even notice that he was home when I pulled up let alone three feet way while I was crying and getting sick. I took a deep breath to calm myself.

"Yes. I think it was a one time thing." I tried to smile and I think I succeeded in being somewhat convincing seeing as Charlie nodded and headed back down stairs. I think it helped that my dad wasn't overly excited about crying girls.

I took a second to steady myself and was finally able to lift myself off the ground and go fix dinner. I dusted myself off and rinsed my mouth out before getting on my way, but I froze at the bottom of the stares and when I saw Charlie already at the stove, stirring something in a pot.

"What are you doing?" Charlie never cooked. Even before I came to live with him, he always ordered pizza or take out.

"Well, your stomach's bothering you and I know you need to eat after that performance up in the bathroom, so I thought some chicken broth wouldn't be too hard on you."

I couldn't help the bout of emotions that were running loose inside of me. My wall had already been torn to pieces and I hadn't put it back up yet.

"What about your dinner?" Charlie shrugged and waved me off.

"There's some leftover lasagna in the fridge. You go on up to bed and I'll bring this to you when it's ready." I turned to go back upstairs, but paused at the bottom step.

"Thank you, Dad."

Charlie grumbled an uncomfortable 'you're welcome' and I had to smile as I walked up to my room. My dad wasn't big on the whole emotional front, but he did know how to take care of me in his own way. He was solitary, awkward, and intimidating, but he was also one of the sweetest men I knew.

As promised, Charlie brought up my soup and left me alone for the night. I didn't get much sleep. Every time I closed my eyes I saw the haunting pictures of what could be happening in my life. I was beginning to get very frustrated with myself. I knew that nothing like my imagination was going to take place, but it didn't stop my subconscious from fearing the worst.

Light flooded my window in no time and I barely registered my actions as I breezed through my morning routine, I was so tired. Alice complained about my choice of jeans and a hoodie, but I wasn't in the mood; either for looking decent or for hearing Alice's lecture.

We got to the school early, as usual, but instead of going straight to see Edward, I hid in the bathroom until the bell rang. I wasn't ready for more rejection. Finally, it was time for class. Edward didn't look at me once. I don't know whether I was happy or upset by that action.

On one hand, it proved that there was something wrong with me. On the other hand, I didn't think I could handle the look in his eyes if he resented me. So I guess it was a good thing after all that he avoided me.

The week passed in a blur, everyday the same pattern. I would hide in the bathroom and wait for first bell to ring and then Edward would ignore my existence. The magazine was also a sore spot in my day. Mr. McCarty took over for the week and Edward always left before I arrived.

The first official meeting for LitMag was scheduled on Monday, on my birthday. I tried to focus on my work, but it was difficult not to think of Edward absence. It killed me think of my feelings for Edward being so horrible that he couldn't even be around me and Mr. McCarty's increasingly peppy attitude clued me in to the fact that he knew of my heartache. It was just bad all around.

On Saturday, Alice tried desperately hard to get me to go shopping with her, but I just wasn't up for it. My depressing attitude was wearing her down, I knew that and I tried to keep myself pleasant around her, but the pain was almost unbearable when I tried to hide behind my mask.

Monday rolled around and even with Alice's persistent attempts at getting me to be happy on my birthday, I followed my routine. When the bell rang and it was time for AP Lang I pushed myself from the wall that I was leaning against and sauntered to my seat. I didn't look at Edward right away. I didn't want to be reminded again, but I knew that the longer I waited the worse it would be.

I almost gasped when I saw his appearance. Edward's clothes were wrinkled like he had slept in them and his hair was even more of a mess than normal. His, usually, vibrant green eyes were faded to a dull lifeless color with dark circles lining them. He looked like he hadn't slept in a week. On top of that he wore a five o'clock shadow although it was only eight in the morning.

He didn't look at me again that morning, but he didn't really look at much of anyone else, either. He droned on about something that, on any other day, he would have been drilling into us with passion. He was like a walking zombie; a corpse just going along with the flow of things.

When class ended, he hunched over his desk in defeat and I knew that something else was wrong with him. Some stupid little nothing that's in love with you would not cause that kind of turmoil. I had been so self-centered to think that it was all about me. I never considered the fact that it was about him.

I was a jittery mess for the rest of the morning. I needed to see Alice and tell her what was going on. After what seemed like days on end, the lunch bell finally rang and I rushed through the line to wait for Alice at our usual table. Finally, after another lifetime of waiting, she and arrived with an apprehensive look on her face followed closely by Jasper.

"What happened?" she asked cautiously.

"Romeo. I don't think it was me. It wouldn't be affecting him so much if it was me. You should have seen him today, Alice. He looks terrible." Alice sighed.

"Okay, Bella. I've been thinking on this hard lately and I think you're right; partially, at least. I don't want you to get your hopes up though, Bella. I still feel like it's somehow connected to you."

I knew Alice was right to be wary, but I couldn't contain my excitement. Alice had just confirmed my assessment and I had made my decision. I couldn't let Edward suffer through whatever he was going through alone. I loved him and I would be there for him when he needed me.

Time passed unbelievably slow the rest of the day. I cut Spanish so that I could guarantee talking to Edward before the rest of the LitMag Staff got there. I wouldn't have been able to focus on my work in Spanish anyway and Alice was no longer in the class, so there was really no incentive for me not to skip.

But, sitting in my truck waiting for time to pass wasn't much better than sitting in a classroom. I was bored and keyed up; not a good combination. Five minutes before scheduled bell, I dashed out of my car to wait in front of Edward's class.

I realized once I got there that I had forgotten all of my things in my truck, but I could just go back and get them when I was done talking with Edward. I needed to do that in private. Another minute passed and then the bell rang loud and clear through the empty halls.

Students started filling the once void and I peaked in the door to notice Edward's appearance again. He still looked like walking death, but he had at least shaved and tried to smooth out his clothes and hair. I waited for the last student to leave before I made my entry. I walked in as Edward was organizing the staff folders. If he heard me, he didn't acknowledge me.

"You look like crap, you know that?" I was expecting another lecture on treating him with respect, but instead I was rewarded with a bitter smile.

"So, I've been told," he said without looking up.

"Are you going to tell me what's got you like this or do I have to guess?" His face grew serious as he turned to me.

"Bella, I told you last week that this has to stop. I'm a teacher, not a friend." I narrowed my eyes. He wasn't just going to brush me off like that.

"It looks to me like you really need a friend right now. I don't understand why I can't just be there for you when you're going through this." My voice was tense and I knew he could hear the force behind my statement.

"Don't push this, Bella. Please, just leave it be." He was firm, but I could hear the brokenness in his voice.

"No. I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong and why I can't be the one to help you."

"Because, Bella! I can't be around you," he yelled at me, revulsion clear in his voice,

"I don't want to be your friend! Do you get that?"

As he shouted the words I just stood there, not comprehending. But as they sunk in through skin I could feel my heart dying a little with each syllable. I hadn't been expecting him to scream at me or to destroy me with spiteful words. I was wrong. I was so very wrong. I thought that he was going through something, but I misread the situation.

I pushed myself on him and he didn't want to be anywhere near me. Alice was right to warn me. I disgusted Edward and as the tears rolled down my face, I disgusted myself for being such a lovesick puppy.

Edward's eyes widened and it looked like he was about to say something, but I couldn't bear to hear anymore. I ran from the classroom as fast as I could to get away from the pain. I didn't stop when I reached the trees. I just kept running until I couldn't feel my legs anymore and I collapsed on the cold hard earth, twisting my ankle in the process.

I was so stupid. He had let me down easy, but I wouldn't back off and now I was in the middle of the woods with no cell phone, no idea where I was at, a sprained ankle, and a broken heart. Happy eighteenth birthday, Bella.

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**A/N: Bella doesn't have much luck with birthdays, does she? Huge thanks to everyone who reads, reviews, favorites, alerts, etc. You are all awesome, awesome people.**

**Next chapter, Alice and Emmett kind of rock. Hope you enjoy ;)**


	4. Words of Wisdom

**A/N: I loved the comments on the last chapter. A lot of them went something like "That was horrible! And I so want more!" You are all masochists! Haha ^_^ Thank you all so much for the amazing reviews.**

_**Disclaimer****:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

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~*~Words of Wisdom~*~

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**Edward**

I couldn't believe the admission I had just made to the shocked girl standing before me. In not so many words, I had just told Bella that I couldn't be her friend because I wanted to be so much more than that. I saw her face change and I knew that I needed to take it all back and fast, but before I could say a word, she was gone. What did I just do?

"Damn it, Edward," I heard Emmett say, but I couldn't look away from the spot where Bella had just been standing. "I know this is hard for you, but did you have to break it to her like that on her birthday? I can't believe you! I told you how much it affected her this last week and you go and give it to her like that?"

I looked up. Emmett was standing in my doorway looking both disappointed and furious. But he wasn't mad at me for what I had just said, he was mad because…_oh, no_. The words that had involuntarily erupted from my lips started dancing in my head. I said that I wanted her. She heard that I didn't. And I screamed it at her.

I got up to go after her, but Emmett was already there pushing me back down.

"I have to go find her!" I hollered. I was doing a lot of that today.

"No, Edward. It may have been incredibly stupid to break her the way you did, but it would be ten times worse if you went after her. You needed to separate yourself from her and that's exactly what you did. You'll just confuse her if you go running to her now. You did what you had to." I put my head in my hands and grabs fistfuls of my hair.

"I didn't," I said in a strained whisper. I looked up again to see a puzzled look on Emmett's face. "I wasn't pushing her away. It was a confession. She saw how messed up I looked and she wouldn't leave it alone. All she wanted to do was help me, Emmett. She didn't understand why she couldn't and I said it all before I could stop myself. I just didn't want to hurt her anymore. It was a kneejerk reaction."

The set of Emmett's jaw was clenched tight and I could see him working over the words I had used in his head. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them, they bore into me and the voice he used when he finally spoke was low and dangerous sounding.

"Do you have any idea how lucky you are that she didn't hear the meaning behind that statement? If it was anyone other than Bella that you said that to and they caught on, you'd be in jail, Edward."

"Yes, I know," was all I said.

But if Bella had caught on, then jail would have been the least of my worries. I never wanted Bella to know how truly I had betrayed her faith in me by falling for her. I couldn't bear it if I saw the look of fear and disgust that would cross her face if she knew exactly how much I cared about her.

"So, I take it I'm running the meeting without her?" I nodded without looking at Emmett. "Great."

Our discussion ended as the designated students for the LitMag staff drifted through the door. Emmett and Bella were supposed to supervised the meeting since I hadn't been there all week, but with the way Bella left, I highly doubted she would be back to talk about poetry and short stories.

I tried to focus on the meeting, but my mind would always settle back on Bella. I missed her so much. I didn't care if I couldn't be with her the way I wanted to, I just wanted to be able to talk to her again. It was killing me to have her so near and to not be able to do a damn thing. And I wasn't the only one hurting. Emmett told me how badly Bella had taken my rejection.

At first, he thought she was fine, but when he left the building last Wednesday, he saw Bella crying in Alice's arms. He also told me how sad she looked the next day and how it got progressively worse as the week went on. I could tell Emmett had reservations about telling me how she was doing, but I had to know if she was okay.

She wasn't and then on top of everything I had already put her through, I made her think that I didn't want to be anywhere near her. I was so sickened by how much I wanted her as I said the words that I could only imagine her thinking that my self-loathing was directed at her. The thought made me cringe. How could she take my words so out of context? I could never hate her. She was my everything.

I needed to stop thinking that way. She may have been my everything, but she wasn't mine and she never could be. As much as I would have loved to have been able to meet Bella in some other capacity, I didn't. I was her teacher. I mentally sighed. I used to love being able to say that I was a teacher. Now, the word just made me sick.

Finally, the meeting was over. I was relieved when we were able to leave a few minutes ahead of schedule. I needed to get home and try to take my mind off of the hell I was in. But when I got to the parking lot I froze. Bella's truck was still there and it had been an hour and a half since she ran from my classroom.

I took a deep breath. There could have been a number of reasons why Bella's truck was left behind with no Bella to be seen. I walked over to it and peaked in the window. All of her things were strewn about the cab, including her cell phone. I couldn't help the panicked feeling that was growing deep inside my chest. If something happened to her it would be all my fault.

"Hey, what are you doing? You're supposed to be staying _away_ from Bella." I could hear the irritation in Emmett's voice, but I could really care less.

"If you haven't noticed, Bella's not here. What if something happened to her, Em?" Thoughts of some creep grabbing Bella from behind ran through my mind.

"Don't be ridiculous. It's her birthday. She's probably out with Alice." And as if the Gods were laughing at us, Alice pulled up at that moment in her yellow Porsche.

"Alice!" She looked at me quizzically. "Is Bella with you?"

"No, I was supposed to pick her up after the meeting today to take her out to dinner." I looked at Emmett who cursed and walked over to the janitor who was busy emptying trash cans. "She's in trouble."

It wasn't a question. She said it like she was stating a fact. I snapped my head back to Alice. She was glaring at me as she pulled out her phone and called Jasper to bring a blanket, a water bottle, and to come help look for Bella. I was about to call the police, but Alice stopped me.

"We don't need the police. There's no need to worry Charlie until we find her. She went into the woods." I was starting to get really frustrated with this girl. I was about to argue her knowledge when Emmett came back.

"The janitor says no one's in the bathrooms. We should start looking. It'll be dark in a few hours." I was gone before Emmett could finish.

My head was spinning with scenarios. What if she was lost and wandering around scared or unconscious somewhere because tripped over something like she always did. I could see her being attacked by an animal and lying somewhere in a pool of her own blood or falling into a river and not being able to get out. She was out here somewhere cold and alone and it was all my fault.

"Bella! Bella, if you can hear me I need you to answer me or make some noise!" I listened hard for anything from Bella, but all I could hear the other's calling out. It sounded like Jasper had joined us.

We walked and shouted for twenty minutes, but I still hadn't heard a thing. We were spaced out to cover more ground, but still close enough to hear each other. I was farther ahead than the others and frantically searched for any sign of Bella. There was nothing and every horrible thing that I had imagined began to morph together into one giant ball of nerves in my stomach.

"Bella!" I could barely breathe, but I still screamed louder. "Damn it, Bella! Where are you?"

Another twenty minutes passed and the light was fading faster than I could look. I felt the hot liquid trail down my face as heaved my breath and I shouted into the surrounding trees. In all my adulthood, I had only cried a handful of times, but Bella had captured my heart so fully that the emotional strain of losing her had sent me to tears twice in the span of one week

But these tears made me angry. How dare I cry when Bella was lost out here because of me? I called again and again and after the thousandth time calling out to nothing, I heard a faint cry. I stopped in my tracks and surveyed my surroundings. Part of me thought that I might have imagined it, but then I saw the faint outline of a person on the ground merely fifty feet away.

I ran faster than I had ever run in my life and collapsed on the ground next to her crumpled form, pulling her into my lap. She was shaking from both the tears and the cold and her palms were bloody from trying to crawl out of the forest. Her hair and face were a complete mess of dirt and twigs, but she was still the most beautiful creature I had ever laid eyes on.

"I'm so sorry," she cried, though her voice was almost completely gone. "I'm so sorry, Edward." Her words pierce through my heart. What on earth did she have to be sorry for?

"Shh, Bella. It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong. Shh." I turned my head away to not yell in her ear. "She's over here! I've found her! She's right here!" Then I turned back to Bella and rested my forehead against hers. "God, I thought I lost you. I'm sorry, Bella. I'm so, so sorry for everything that I've done to you."

It sounded like she was trying to respond, but quiet sobs replaced her speech before she could get it out. The others were there within minutes, Jasper wrapping Bella in a blanket while Alice was trying to get her to drink some water. Emmett came up behind me to pull me away, but I didn't budge.

"They've got her," he whispered in my ear, his tone gentle, but firm. "You have to back away, now."

I disentangled myself from Bella and handed her off to her friends. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I only got a few feet away before I fell to the ground again. Emmett knelt beside me and kept a hand on my shoulder to let me know that he was there. It was a simple gesture, but it meant a lot.

I kept my distance as Jasper steadied Bella in his arms and carried her out of the woods. Alice stayed by his side trying to talk to Bella and Emmett stayed behind with me for support. I waited for Alice and Jasper to leave with Bella before I made my way to my own car. I barely registered Emmett asking me if I was going to be alright before he left as well.

As I sat there clenching the steering wheel, I couldn't help but think of Bella's broken little body when I held her. There were traces of blood on my shirt from where she clung to me. It was painful to remember, but I couldn't flush it from my mind. Part of me felt like I didn't deserve to, like it was my punishment for my hurting her.

I don't know how long I sat there staring out the window at nothing, but eventually a silver Jeep pulled up beside me and my phone rang. "Hello?"

"Come on, get in the car," Emmett said on the other end, sounding resigned.

"Emmett? How long have you…"

"Fifteen minutes. I've been waiting for you to leave, but, well, you're still here and I know that you're going to beat yourself up all night if you don't go see how she is, so come on. We're going to the hospital."

Emmett hung up the phone before I could reply. I knew that he didn't approve of my feelings for Bella, but he was a great friend. And he was right. I needed to know if she was alright or I wouldn't be able to do anything. So, I got out and locked my car and climbed up into Emmett's Jeep.

The ride to the hospital was silent. My mind wouldn't leave Bella and I wasn't going to be good company until I saw her or at least knew how she was doing. Finally, we pulled into the ER parking lot and Emmett told to sit in the waiting area while he went and found out what was going on. I must have been really out of it because it seemed like only seconds later he was holding a cup of coffee out in front of me.

"Damn, Edward, your hands are shaking. You need to calm down." I looked down to where I was grabbing the coffee and, sure enough, the liquid was jittering because of my trembling hands.

"I didn't even realize. What did the nurse say?"

"The doctor's still checking her out. She'll let us know when it's okay to see her." I nodded and we sat in silence for a few minutes until Emmett broke through my thoughts. "I get it."

I looked up confused. "Get what?"

"I get it, I get you and Bella. I might not like it very much, but I get how you guys fit. I spent a lot of time with her this week and you two think the same way. And I also get how much you love her because I saw it on your face tonight. I get it, Edward. I really do."

"Yeah, well…it's not like it makes that much of a difference does it? I'm still her teacher."

"After she graduates…"

"No," I said a little too forcefully. "I'm sorry, it's just…Even if she did feel the same way, I could never hold her back like that. She's got a bright future ahead of her and I'm not going to keep her in Forks when she could go out into the world and be great. You should read some of the stuff she writes, Emmett. It's brilliant and heartbreaking and wonderful. She's so gifted. I just wish she'd see it," I laughed. Bella never saw herself clearly.

"I guess see your point. What exactly are you planning on doing once she's gone?" I looked up, confused by the question. "You could barely function this last week, Edward. Hell, I had to push you into the bathroom to shave this morning. Do you really expect to be a good teacher once she's completely gone?"

I looked back down at my coffee. I'd never really thought that far ahead before. The truth was that I could barely remember how I survived life before Bella and the thought of her being gone was something my mind automatically rejected. It sound cliché and idiotic to say that you can't live without someone, but that's exactly how I felt. I couldn't imagine my life without Bella.

"Look, Edward, I know that it's impossible to think about right now, but I want you to know that I'm here for you, man. No matter what you do, I'm your best friend first, alright?"

I nodded, not knowing what to say. To be perfectly honest, I didn't really know what _he _was saying. I knew he wasn't giving me his blessing to pursue Bella, not that I would do that in the first place, but it sure as hell sounded as close to a blessing I was likely to get from Emmett. I was utterly shocked, to say the least.

"Hey, there's Chief Swan. I'm going to go find out what's going on."

Almost as soon as Emmett left, Alice walked around the corner eyeing me. She seemed to be readying herself for something as she took a deep breath and made a beeline directly to me. I could feel the nervous ball start in my stomach again as I took in her posture. Was there something wrong with Bella?

"Come with me," she said when she reached me and turned on her heel. As short as Alice was, I was finding it incredibly difficult to keep up with her. We kept walking until we reached a room and then she turned at me with the devil's glare in her eyes.

"What the hell did you say to her?" Alice was furious as she had every right to be, but I was still an authority figure.

"Alice, I'm a teacher." She glared harder and I was actually starting to become a little afraid of Bella's tiny pixie-like friend.

"Here's the thing, Mr. Cullen. I don't care if you're a teacher. You could be the president of the United States of America and it wouldn't make a damn bit of difference. You hurt my best friend and if I weren't in danger of losing my internship over something stupid like violence, I'd be giving you a piece of my fist right now instead of my mind.

"She won't tell me what you said to her, but I know it must have been bad because Bella doesn't freak out like that over nothing. What the hell is the matter with you? All she ever did was care about you and you go and say something stupid to mess it all up. I am so tired of being the only one that knows what the both of you are feeling and damn it, Mr. Cullen, I know you feel something, so don't try to deny it!

"Now, you are going to walk into that room and straighten out this mess that you've gotten yourself into with that mouth of yours before I kick your ass ten ways till Tuesday, internship be damned. It hurts me just as much as it hurts you to see her like that, but I have to see her more so we're doing this my way, since you obviously haven't got a clue."

Alice walked away then, leaving me shocked and gaping outside of Bella's room. My brain couldn't even process half the things she said. But a lot of it made sense and at that point, I had two options; get close to Bella again and risk everything or walk away and let the both of us live in pain day in and day out. To say that I was stuck between a rock and a hard place was an understatement. I was screwed.

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**A/N: Alice was my favorite part of this chapter, by far. I could have written and entire novel of her ranting at Mr. Cullen.**

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	5. Pain Killers

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to lulabelljane and xparawhorextwerdx for being fellow sickies with me and to pwtf for giving me virtual 'get well' supplies. The reviews, as always, were amazing. Thank you all for the wonderful support!**

_**Disclaimer****:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

~*~Pain Killers~*~

* * *

**Bella**

I felt like a complete fool. If it wasn't for my body's aversion to staying vertical I wouldn't have had to been carried from the forest and rushed to the hospital. If I had the balance - or luck, for that matter - of any normal person, I could have sulked for a few minutes and then walked out of the woods of my own free will.

Instead, I twisted my ankle and while trying to hop my way to safety I fell numerous times until I had to crawl because my knees couldn't take the trauma of crashing to the ground anymore. I tried to yell for help, but the cold air did a number on my vocal chords and I eventually lost my voice along with all hope. I thought it was a miracle when I heard Edward calling for me.

I had barely anything left when he found me. I was so cold and weak that at the time that I didn't care that I had humiliated myself in front of him. Edward was there and he was holding me. I tried to apologize for being so stupid, for having feelings for him, for making him come looking for me, but he wouldn't have it and then the words that left his mouth had me reeling.

They weren't spectacular by any normal standards, but they were incredible to me. They also had me more confused than ever. Why would he have been so upset over losing me if he didn't want to have anything to do with me? And the look on Edward's face when he found me broke what was left of my already shattered heart. But why? Why did it hurt him so bad to see me that way?

Then he started apologizing for everything that he put me through and it killed me. Yes, I ran into the forest because I was embarrassed by my feelings for him, but it was hardly his fault. It was all so hard to understand. The happenings of the last two hours had me convinced that Edward truly did care about me in some form of the word, but then the question became, why did he speak with such conviction when he told me to stay away from him?

My head was starting to hurt from thinking too hard on top of all my other injuries. By the time the doctor was done with my examination the list included deep lacerations on both palms and on my elbows, contusions on over thirty percent of my body, my left side full of bruised ribs from where I fell on an uprooted tree, and one very nasty head cold. Not to mention the ankle and two extremely sore knees.

The pain was bad but I had had worse. Unfortunately, the embarrassment rating for this hospital visit put the experience at number one on the "Bella's worst's" list. I leaned back against the pillow and winced. It was going to be a long month trying to heal from all of my exterior wounds. I didn't even want to think about the internal ones.

When the pain subsided from my changed position I lifted my legs and settled back into the hospital bed. It had been a long night and I was exhausted with everything that had happened. I closed my eyes just as I heard the door open and decided to feign sleep. I really didn't want to have to deal with Charlie anymore. I knew he loved me and was just concerned, but his hovering was starting to drive me insane.

He seemed to buy that I was out because I heard him gently close the door and quietly pull up a chair. It was kind of nice to just be able to rest and have my dad's company after what I had been through. I heard him move forward and then I felt his hand on my hair, stroking it away from my face. It was so very unlike Charlie that I almost blew my cover and laughed.

"I'm so sorry, Bella."

I tensed. That was so not Charlie's voice. There was only one voice that could be that beautiful. I was so nervous that I didn't even notice the hand leaving my head until it was already gone and then I heard a light chuckling noise coming from the man sitting next to me.

"You never were a good liar. You can stay asleep if you want to, but I'd really like to talk if that's okay."

Slowly, and with a heavy sigh, I opened my eyes and turned my head to see Edward. I really didn't want to talk and have him deject me yet again, but he was already in on my state of awareness, so there wasn't really much sense in waiting. That and I needed a few things cleared up before he went back to ignoring me, like why he said he didn't want me and then cried over almost losing me.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

It was such a simple question with such a complicated answer. Edward sat patiently waiting for my reply. He had a slight smile, but it didn't reach his eyes and he looked far worse than he did that morning. The shadows under his eyes were deeper, but reddened from his tears and his posture was small and trodden, like that of a peasant before a king. It didn't fit him at all.

"I feel fine. You came looking for me." I waited a few seconds, but he said nothing. "Why?" His smile disappeared at that and pressed into a firm line before he spoke.

"Bella, what I said to you earlier was out of line and completely untrue." Edward put his head in his hands for a moment as if he was struggling with what he was saying, then he looked back up at me with more intensity. "I could never want you out of my life, Bella. You are one of the kindest, most genuine people I know and I'm sorry. I pushed you away because we were getting to close and whether we like it or not, you are my student, Bella."

"But I still don't understand why. Why did you blow up at me like that and then come looking for me?"

Again, I saw the struggle behind Edward's eyes and it killed me. There was something there that he wanted to tell me, I just didn't know what. But then he sighed and I knew that this time would be no different than any other. He wasn't going to tell me.

"The truth is that I've been going through a lot this past week and I took it out on you. I've been dealing with…," he paused, considering his words, "The loss of someone that I loved very much. I was keeping it bottled up because I couldn't talk about it with anyone and when you pushed me I just lost it." He looked down at the floor and said the next part so low that I don't think I was supposed to hear it. "You don't know how bad I wished I could tell you."

The relief I felt when I realized that Edward truly didn't hate me was euphoric. Not only was his original rejection a product of precaution, but his horrible words were nothing more than an outlet for his pain on a completely different matter. But that made my happiness dull. Edward was still in pain.

"Who," I hesitated. I couldn't bring myself to actually mention death. "Who did you lose? It wasn't your sister, was it? Or your aunt or uncle?"

"No, Bella. It wasn't anyone in my family." Even though he was looking away from me, I could still see his eyes sadden and something came to me that made my heart ache far worse than any of my injuries did to my body.

"Was it…was it, like…a girlfriend?" Edward looked up then and let out a bitter chuckle before turning away again, but there was nothing happy in any part of his manner.

"No. She wasn't a girlfriend, just someone that I cared very deeply for."

I felt horrible for taking comfort in the fact that Edward didn't have a someone special. Not only was the possibility of me and Edward ridiculous, but he was in pain and I was absorbed in my own happiness. I was terrible and even if Edward couldn't hear what I was thinking, I still felt like I needed to say something.

"Edward, I…" Edward furrowed his brow and sighed.

"Bella, I told you, we can't…" I cut him off quickly.

"I'm sorry. _Mr. Cullen_, you don't have to go through this alone. I get that I'm your student, but that doesn't mean that you can't talk to me. In fact, you kind of have to seeing as I'm the Editor and Chief to your magazine." I laughed to lighten the mood, but I was dead serious. "You don't have to cut me out, Mr. Cullen. I can handle restrictions."

Edward smiled at me and, though it still didn't fully reach his eyes, I could tell it was genuine. "Maybe you're right. Restrictions. Wish I'd have thought of that."

I laughed and he smiled a bit more. Finally, all of the drama was over and we could get back to normal. Well, as normal as we could be with our restrictions. I wasn't complaining, though. It was better than nothing. Actually, it was better than a lot of things. As Edward talked to me about what I missed at the LitMag meeting, all I could think about was how much I would do to never feel the pain of losing Edward again.

I could pretty much guarantee that I would do anything especially with how the light returned to Edward's eyes through the course of our conversation. We never discussed anything other than school and the limits of our relationship, but it was enough to stop him from hurting so bad over the loss of his friend. As long as I was still helping Edward, I could handle our little restrictions.

But pretty soon, I couldn't stifle the urge to yawn anymore and Edward laughed as I tried to continue my current statement through my gaping mouth.

"I think it's time for you to rest. It's going to take a while for your dad to get everything ready for your release. Try to get some sleep." I nodded and lazily smiled as I felt the drugs I had taken earlier start to kick in.

In all honesty, I couldn't help but smile at the change in Edward's demeanor since I saw him in the afternoon. He might not have been completely back to his old self, but he was definitely getting there and my elation at that fact wasn't going down anytime soon. Unfortunately, Edward did have to leave and I sighed as he walked to the door. I stopped him just before he left.

"Wait, I never thanked you!" He smiled apologetically and the sad look was back in his eyes.

"You don't have to thank me, Bella. I was my fault that you…"

"Don't you dare!" I was actually a little angry that he would blame himself for my stupidity. "It's not your fault that I over reacted and ran into the forest or that I'm incapable of standing upright for more than five minutes at any given time. If I want to thank you I can and there's nothing you can do about it."

Edward was shaking with laughter that he was trying to hold back, but when he tried to talk it burst out of his mouth before he could stop it. It was the best sound I'd heard all week and I before long I was giggling right along with him. I think the medication helped a little with that, too.

"You're too much, Bella. One second, you're thanking me. The next, you're yelling at me and then you laugh with me not a minute later. What do they have you on?"

"Cough medicine, Vicodin, Ibuprophin and Robaxin," I said proudly. "I mean it, though, E – Mr. Cullen. Thank you. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't have found me."

"Well, I did find you, so there's no need to dwell on it." I grinned mischievously. He set me up perfectly.

"You promise?" He furrowed his brow in question and I giggled some more. "If I can't dwell on it, then neither can you."

He grinned the crooked smile that I loved so much and shook his head in resignation. "Goodnight, Bella."

I sighed as I watched the unrequited love of my life walk out the door. There was still something strange about the whole situation that I couldn't put my finger on, but with my eyelids closing without my permission, I couldn't spend too much time on the subject.

I expected to see white walls and florescent lighting when I woke. I was surprised when I opened my eyes to a dim room that happened to be my own. I turned over to look at the clock and cringed, both from moving and from the time. Apparently, Charlie had driven me home and carried me up to my room where I slept through the night.

I had planned on going to school, but seeing as it was already noon, I highly doubted that was going to happen. Sighing, I eased myself out of bed to take a shower. Although, my cuts had been cleaned, the rest of me hadn't and I felt gross. Not to mention the hot water on my aching muscles would feel like heaven.

All too soon, the water started cooling down and it was time to get out. I headed downstairs once I was dressed and re-bandaged to find myself something to eat. Most people would have needed help to get themselves wrapped and braced, but I had more experience with that than 'most people.'

I was all ready for some frosted flakes when I noticed the pan in the sink. It used to be a good pan, but looking at it there in its blackened state with some sort of black rubber sticking to it, it looked…Can inanimate objects look dead? It was almost sad to look at the poor little pan. It was also very suspicious.

I know I didn't kill the skillet like that, so the only logical culprit was Charlie. What did he do to it? I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear the car pull up in the driveway and jumped when Charlie walked trough the door. I grimaced from the pain at moving so fast and turned to Charlie.

"What did you do?" I asked in a slightly accusatory tone. Charlie set down the bags he was carrying and mumbled into an explanation.

"Well, I was trying to make eggs and bacon, but it didn't work out so well, so I went down to Sara's Café and got you some breakfast." He looked up at the clock. "Lunch."

I giggled a little at my dad's guilty face and then thanked him and we ate in comfortable silence, with me smiling the whole time. Soup was one thing, but apparently eggs were beyond Charlie's cooking proficiency. _No pan anywhere was safe from this torturer of cookware, _I thought to myself_._

I thought of many more catchphrases throughout breakfast even saying some aloud. With the new medication in my system, I found the thought of Charlie trying to take care of me and the end product of those attempts hilarious. Once I was finished with my toast, I was full out laughing from my lame jokes.

"Uh huh, laugh it up," Charlie said dryly. "My shift starts in a half hour. Are you going to be okay?" I nodded still slightly giggling and Charlie left me with a quick goodbye, shaking his head as he went.

The rest of the day went by slower than my truck drove in the winter. With the pills I was on, I couldn't focus enough to read and I really didn't like watching television too much. Eventually, I settled on tidying up the house even though it took me three times as long to do something because my injuries.

At around six thirty there was a knock at the door. When I answered it, I was met with an annoyed looking Alice and Jasper hold a pizza. The short little pixie I called my best friend brushed past me to the kitchen table where I had been folding laundry and picked up a pair of my underwear, waving them around at me.

"Isabella Marie Swan, what the heck is this?" I laughed where normally I would have been embarrassed, having taken a few more pills only a half an hour prior to Alice's visit. Alice rolled her eyes. "Bella, you are supposed to be taking it easy. I knew you were doing something stupid like housework."

Alice said 'housework' as if it was the most vile word in the English language and I laughed harder before grabbing my ribs in pain. The medicine usually helped, but physical exertion was not recommended. Alice pulled me over to the couch and told me to sit before she forced me and asked Jasper to go serve up the pizza.

"Alice, I'm not hurt that bad. I'm just a little sore is all." She waved her hand to dismiss me.

"Yeah, fine, okay. I'm not here to be your mom. Tell me what happened with Mr. Cullen before Jazz gets back." I wanted to laugh again at Alice's eagerness, but I really didn't want to talk about Edward in from of her boyfriend.

"He said he took out his frustrations on me and that he was sorry and that we had to follow the restrictions of a student/teacher relationship."

Alice furrowed her brow and then sighed. She mumbled something under her breath about having to do more work and then turned to me with the most innocent smile I'd ever seen. I didn't trust it one bit. Alice was up to something and I knew by her demeanor that I wasn't going to be able to coax it from her easily.

We talked for a few more moments about Edward and then Jasper came back and our topic moved over to Alice's internship. She was so excited to be learning from _the _Beth Cardue that I couldn't help, but share in her enthusiasm. Jasper was also happy for Alice, but it left him with nothing to do in the afternoons, but wait for her.

"I know it's a little late to apply, Bella, but do you think you could talk to Mr. C and get him to let me into LitMag?" The half-pout on Jasper's face was a mini reproduction of the one Alice gave me all the time and that I did laugh at.

"You don't have to beg, Jasper. I'm sure it'll be no problem. Come tomorrow." After that, we watched a couple movies and they left me to get some rest.

The next day I had to argue with Charlie to let me go to school. It wasn't a heated dispute, by any means, but I could definitely tell I got my stubbornness from him. He only gave in because Alice was already there waiting for me and Charlie could never resist Alice anything.

The first week after my little excursion into the woods was a mix of pain and pleasure. It was nice to have Edward back and hanging out with Jasper and Angela in LitMag was great, but my injuries took a lot out of me and Lauren's company left something to be desired.

I didn't know what I did to her, but for some reason, she took it upon herself to make my life a living hell. I hated that she was the most qualified for the magazine. If it hadn't have been for Mr. McCarty I'd have skipped right over her submission, but looking through with him instead of Edward, I could hardly deny her a spot just because we didn't get along.

But even with Lauren and my injuries, nothing could dampen the happiness I felt at being able to talk with Edward again. Of course, I had to call him by his last name all the time now, and we couldn't really get off topic about LitMag and school, but he was there and that was enough. I thought it was going to last, but I was ignorant.

"Happy birthday, Bella," Alice said holding up a small box a few days later. I glared at her.

"My birthday was almost two weeks ago, Alice. And you already got me something." She rolled her eyes.

"Yes, yes, but we didn't get to go out for your birthday and you're going to need this for where I'm taking you." I opened the box and saw a State of Washington ID card with my name and picture on it saying that I was twenty-two years old. "There's this new club opening up in Seattle, I've booked us a suite at the Hilton for next weekend, and Charlie already knows I'm taking you."

"I'll bet he doesn't know that your parents won't be there," I said with a smirk. Alice huffed.

"You will not ruin this trip, Bella! Let me do this!" Then Alice unleashed the full power over her puppy dog eyes on me and I was a goner.

"Ugh, fine. I'll go, but I won't enjoy it." Alice smiled triumphantly and I internally scolded myself for being too much like Charlie to resist the little minx, either.

The rest of the school day passed by slowly, as usual. Without Alice to keep me company in Phys Ed or Spanish, I was left to doodling in my notebook or getting ahead on tedious homework assignments. And drinking lots of water. The pills that the doctor still had me taking made my mouth extremely dry and with the added liquid to my diet came added bathroom stops.

I was bouncing in my chair waiting for the final bell to ring in seventh period. When it finally did, I all but ran to the restroom, forgetting momentarily about my sprained ankle. I was seriously ready to kick the pills and just deal with the pain to stop the incessant need to relieve myself. It was really starting to be a hassle.

Just when I was about to flush the toilet, I heard the annoying voice of the girl I had to put up with on a daily basis in LitMag. It wouldn't have normally stopped me, but I heard my name being squealed and I couldn't help the curiosity at what was being said about me. It sounded like Jessica was the one with her.

"Yes, Bella!" Lauren said dishing some sort of juicy gossip.

"Really? I don't think so, Lauren. Bella doesn't seem like the type that would sleep around. Are you sure?" Even through Jessica's defense, I could hear her excitement at my expense.

"I'm totally serious. She's sleeping with Mr. Cullen to keep that editor job and she's probably getting a big fat A in Lang, too." I could feel my breath becoming shorter and I needed to stop it before I was discovered. "And didn't you see them a couple weeks ago? They had this big lover's spat, but now they've made up."

"Oh, my God, Lauren. That is so…scandalous! Go, Bella for snagging Mr. Hotty. I can't wait to tell Mike. I wonder why I didn't know this."

"It's totally obvious in the way she looks at him. And he…" But the rest of their conversation was cut off by the door closing.

I could feel my chest tightening and I couldn't breathe. It felt like my world was crashing down around me. I was so stupid to think that no one would notice the way I felt about my teacher. And now, because of my open book of a face, Edward was in danger of being the center of a scandal where he could lose his job. It wasn't a question of if this rumor got out, but when and it was all my fault.

The jingling of my cell phone pulled me out of my thoughts and I was able to calm my hyperventilation a little. It was a text from Edward.

_Meeting started. Not like U 2 B late. R U OK?_

I knew I had to answer, but I honestly didn't know what to do. The only thing I did know was that I was not going to LitMag.

_Didn't feel well. Charlie took me home. Sorry I didn't tell you._

It was only a few seconds before he replied.

_Get better, k? C U 2mrw?_

I sighed and just responded with a yes to placate him. I honestly didn't know if I could face him or anyone else for that matter. But putting my embarrassment aside, there was Edward. I didn't see before why he had separated himself from me, but it was all too clear now with the impending storm heading our way.

It killed me to lose him the first time, but I thought I could almost bear it this time if I was saving him from losing the job that he loved so much and the life that he worked so hard for. I would not let my feelings for him destroy him. And so, I did the only thing I could think to do. I prepared myself to push him away from me.

I spent the time when I should have been at the meeting in the library, typing up the end of my happiness. He tried to tell me before, but I didn't listen and now I had to go further because the damage was already done. I printed out the offending piece of paper and although it was light as a feather, it felt like lead in my hands.

Edward was clearing away the days work when I entered his classroom. He looked up confused and I'm guessing that the apprehension in his face came when he saw mine. I had to keep my cool and I'm sure I looked cold and callous. It was the only way I wouldn't burst into tears. I gave him the paper and his brows furrowed more and more as he read.

"What's this?" He seemed scared, but I couldn't understand why. Why would my resignation from the magazine scare him?

"I can't work on LitMag anymore," I said. I could feel the tears trying to fight free of their prison and so I left before Edward could see. It was the right thing to do and I knew that, but it hurt worse than I thought it would and I only made it to the same horrible bathroom before I broke down completely.

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**A/N: I've been on Robaxin combined with Vicodin. It's just like that! I know a lot of you are probably upset with Bella, but she thinks she's doing what's best. I don't agree with her, but Bella and Edward both are rather self sacrificing. It's a problem of theirs, lol. Thanks for reading!**


	6. Reconciliation

**A/N: Thanks for all the well wishes while I was sick. I feel much better. And thanks everyone for the great reviews! I try to answer as many as I can, but with so many it's really hard to keep up AND write the story. Even if I don't respond, know that it means the world to me. They really do make my day! I spend boodles of time trying to make the story flow and make it realistic and emotional. To hear that I've achieved that is so wonderful I can't even describe it. Thank you guys so much!**

_**Disclaimer****:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

~*~Reconciliation~*~

* * *

**Edward**

It took me a minute to realize what I was reading. I didn't understand how she could be doing this. The past week and a half had been wonderful. Of course, Bella and I couldn't go back to the way things used to be, but the hell I had gone through without her made every second I spent with her that much sweeter. But now, she was ripping my heart out of my chest with her withdrawal from the magazine.

A million thoughts and questions ran through my mind as I read the words on the page. Why was she doing this? Did she figure out that I was in love with her? This would hurt her chances for Dartmouth. But more than anything, I was losing her again and I didn't know why. Something had happened, I could see it in her eyes, but what that something was, I didn't know.

"What's this?" I tried to keep my emotions out of my voice, but I was too afraid of what was causing her sudden resignation to pay that close attention.

"I can't work on LitMag anymore."

In that moment, I put aside my fear over what she knew of my feelings. She was so much more important. The pain in her voice was evident and I could see the tears ready to fall from her eyes, but she turned and ran from the room before I could say a word. It was like déjà vu, but I was not going to let her go this time without a fight.

Bella was already out of sight by the time I made it out the door. I mentally cursed myself for not having fast enough reflexes when it came to her. The first place I checked was the parking lot, but her truck was still there, cold and empty. I knew that Bella was smart enough not to run into the woods again, but I didn't know where she could have been otherwise.

I was on my way to check the library when I heard muffled sobs coming from a girl's bathroom. There was no question that those cries came from Bella and my heart bled for her sadness. I could only pray that I wasn't the reason for her tears as I pushed into the bathroom without a second thought.

I wanted nothing more than to pull Bella into my arms and sooth away the anguish on her face, but I still didn't know what caused that pain and there was a chance that my feelings had something to do with it. Not to mention the rules of our relationship prohibiting my touching her in such an intimate way.

Instead, I rushed to her side and knelt so that I could look her in the eye. The fear I saw there killed me. I was the cause of that, but I came up with nothing when I wracked my brain trying to think of something that I might have done to elicit such trepidation.

"What are you doing here?" Bella was starting to hyperventilate. "You can't be here! If someone see's…You could…I couldn't bear it! You have to leave!"

"Bella, you need to calm down." Bella just kept yelling at me to get out, but I couldn't leave her like that, so I grabbed her face gently between my hands and brought her face level to mine. "Bella, listen to me. You need to calm down or you're going to pass out."

I could see the questions in her eyes as I stared trying to communicate my need for her to breathe and slowly the anxiety I saw faded into understanding and she began to quiet. In the seconds I was trying to relax Bella, I realized what she was saying. I was the cause for her tears, but not in the way I had originally thought. Bella wasn't afraid _of_ me, she was afraid _for_ me.

"Bella, I need to know what happened." The tears in Bella's eyes threatened to return as she tried to shake her head, still in my grasp. "Bella. Bella, listen to me. I have to know what's going on."

"I'm so sorry. You tried to tell me and I didn't listen and now it's too late. This is all my fault. I'm so, so sorry, Edward. I didn't mean for any…I just…I didn't think it would hurt anyone. I was wrong. I'm so sorry!"

"Bella, shh." I stroked her cheek with my thumb before I realized what I was doing. It just felt natural and I needed to understand what she was saying. How Bella could have done anything to hurt anyone was beyond me. "Tell me what happened and I'll fix it. Do you trust me?"

Bella nodded her head, but didn't speak right away. I knew that whatever she was going through was going to be hard for her to talk about so I lowered my hands from her face, but took one of her hands in mine to reassure her. Then, I just waited for her to be ready. She lowered her gaze to the floor before she started.

"I…I overheard Lauren and Jessica talking. I didn't understand what was so wrong with us being friends until I heard them."

The disgust and anger in Bella's tone were new to me. I had heard her angry before, but never to the point where I could hear hatred her voice. It pained me to know that she had been through something to bring out that emotion. It was so unlike her.

"They saw…They think…They…" She was struggling to get the words out.

"It's okay, Bella. What did they say?" It was killing me to have to be the calm rational person. I wanted to be as angry as Bella for what those two girls did to her, but I knew that Bella needed me to be composed.

"Lauren told Jessica that I was sleeping with you to keep the Editor in Chief position and to get a good grade in class." The hand that wasn't holding Bella's balled into a fist. She met my eyes, then, and my heart broke several times over at the emotions that I saw. "I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to hurt you."

"Bella, what are you talking about?" I knew my voice was raised, but I couldn't stand the thought of Bella blaming herself for something that wasn't her fault. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one that let things go too far. Besides, we didn't do anything wrong, okay? Nothing's going to happen to me."

"How can you say that?" Bella asked me in disbelief. "It's only a matter of time before admin hears the rumor and it doesn't matter if it's true or not. Your name will still be ruined!"

She was right, of course. I could lose my job over stupid gossip and there wasn't much I could do about it. But I wasn't only worried for myself. If news of mine and Bella's false relations leaked beyond that of the town, there was a very good chance that she could lose the acceptance and scholarships to colleges that she'd applied to.

"Bella, I don't want you to worry about a thing. I'm going to make some calls and figure everything out. I'm not going to let this hurt you." Bella scoffed.

"You seriously think I care about myself? So what if I get reprimanded. At worse, I lose a couple scholarships. I can live with Community College. You will have nothing if this gets out of hand."

"Don't even think like that." I was already angry and Lauren and Bella talking down about herself riled me further. "You have so much going for you that you don't even realize. Dartmouth, remember? You've worked so hard. You will get it."

Bella blushed at my intensity and nodded. I loved her blush. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen and it was so uniquely Bella. We stayed that way silently comforting one another for a few minutes, but it was getting late and I knew that it wouldn't help out case if someone were to drive by the school and recognize the only two cars left in the parking lot.

"I will see you in LitMag tomorrow, yes?" Bella nodded and I smirked. "Good. It's about time you stopped shirking off your responsibilities."

Bella gave me a sarcastic laugh, but her smile was real and that made the fight for our cleared names all the more important. I couldn't let Bella go down for some stupid high school girl noticing my feelings and creating a story around it. I _wouldn't_ let Bella go down for it. If worst came to worst, I would admit to my obsession with my student and save Bella's future.

I said my goodbyes to Bella and waited a few minutes before leaving, myself. I just kept going over everything that I could do in my head, but came to the same conclusion every time. I was going to have to make a call that I really didn't want to make. Unfortunately, it seemed like my only option.

When I finally made it home I noticed Emmett's Jeep in the visitors spot. I had completely forgotten that he was coming over to watch the game and I really wasn't in the mood for company. I was met with an annoyed stare when I reached my door and when I brushed past Emmett without excuses or an apology he started questioning me.

"LitMag ended forty-five minutes ago and it only takes ten to get from here to the school. What the hell? You knew we had plans tonight."

"I forgot," I replied absent mindedly. Emmett was slowly turning from annoyed to furious.

"What the hell do you mean you forgot? What were you doing that was so important?"

I knew what Emmett was implying and part of me really wanted a fight. I could have egged him on, I was so angry at so many things; at Lauren and Jessica, at my weakness to a certain brown-eyed girl, at what I had to do, at the stupid school district, at God. But one person that I was not angry with was Emmett. I also knew that if it did come to blows I would more than likely end up in the emergency room.

"I was trying to calm down Bella." Emmett's face went carefully blank as he motioned for me to continue. "She tried to quit the magazine. She ran off before I could stop her and when I found her she was hysterical."

"I don't understand. Why would she quit? She loves that magazine almost more than you do." I laughed half-heartedly at Emmett's mask, now long forgotten and replaced with concern. He really was a big softie. But I took a deep breath and sobered up quickly as I remembered what I was discussing.

"She was trying to protect me. Apparently, Lauren Mallory is spreading the rumor that Bella is sleeping with me to get a decent grade and for the Editor Job."

"What?" Emmett was enraged and I quickly took back my earlier assessment of him being a softie. "What the hell is that bitch's problem?"

"Emmett," I warned.

"I'm sorry! I know I shouldn't talk about a student like that, but damn it, Edward! I had to put up with her on a daily basis last year. I know what kind of chick she is, but this? Bella is…This kind of thing would ruin a girl like Bella! Not to mention you! When this gets out, you're done, Edward!"

"You don't think I know that? I've thought about it all a hundred times over! I know what kind of damage that gossip could do! I don't even care about myself, but Bella…This could hurt everything that she's worked for! So, yes, Emmett! I know, okay? I know how royally fucked I am!"

I was screaming at him, but it didn't faze him. He just let me get everything off my chest. It was more than I deserved, but I appreciated it all the same. Emmett really was one hell of a friend.

"Then what are you going to do about it?" Emmett finally asked once I had calmed down. I sighed.

"I'm going to call the best lawyer I know." Emmett looked at me suspiciously.

"Need a good lawyer every now and again, do you?" I smiled at Emmett's attempt to lighten the mood, but it didn't take the dread out of what I had to do to get that lawyer.

"She's my sister." Emmett furrowed his brow in confusion.

"I didn't know you had a sister." I sighed again and looked away.

"No body does, except for Bella. Rosalie and I aren't exactly on the best of terms."

I pinched the bridge of my nose knowing that I needed to continue with the story. Emmett was my best friend and I was going to need his support if I was going to call Rosalie. Swallowing one's pride is not an easy thing to do.

"I think I told you that my parents died in a car accident just after I turned sixteen?" Emmett nodded. "Rosalie was nineteen and about to start her second year at NYU in the fall. She stayed long enough to make sure I was emancipated and then took off and never looked back. Our parents had money, so I was able to live comfortably. Still am." I laughed without humor. I would have given all the money in the world to be able to change the past.

"Did you know I went in to teaching because of my mother?" I looked up at Emmett and he gave me a weak smile. "She was a teacher before Rose was born. Mom…God, she loved it, but she loved us more and she wanted to be a full time mother. But she always talked with such a passion about English and her students and just teaching in general that I guess it kind of stuck."

It was nice remembering my parents, but with the memories of the good came the memories of what I had lost. The smile I had when talking about my mother faded and I was left with the brutal reality of what had happened and I grimaced at the pain, staring intently at the ground.

"When my parents died I was devastated. I was able to take care of myself financially, but that didn't mean I didn't still need Rose. She left me two months after our parents died and I was alone." By this point my voice was barely a whisper. "She didn't even ask me to come with her." And then I yelled. "What kind of a sister abandons her sixteen year old brother just months after their parents die?"

I put my head in my hands and balled my fists in my hair. The only other person who knew about my past with my sister was Bella and I had told her over the course of a few weeks. Rehashing what happened years ago in one sitting was actually causing me to be ill.

"No calls, no letters, no anything. It was like she was in the car that night with my parents. For three years I pretended that she was dead and then she was there on my doorstep in the middle of the night, begging me to forgive her." I looked up then, but I still couldn't look at Emmett.

"She said that she just had to get out. That it hurt too bad to look back. She said that she wanted to call me a million times, but never got up the nerve until that summer when she was standing right in front of me. She was crying and I didn't care. I hated her for leaving me alone. Do you know what I did?" I looked at Emmett then. "I slammed the door in her face. She pounded on my door until early in the morning and I didn't say one word to her.

"I couldn't. I blamed her!" I stood up and started pacing with my rant. "I didn't leave for college, did you know that? She traveled the world and I never left Forks. I graduated high school early and took short term and online courses at University of Washington, Seattle. I didn't leave because if I had then I would have had nothing left! My parents died and my sister abandoned me! The only thing I had was this stupid town and my stupid empty house"

At that, I punched the wall and left an indent lightly traced with blood from my knuckles. I took a few deep breaths trying to relax my body and then I placed head in my hands and my back against the wall, sliding down until my elbows rested on my knees.

"It was easier when I could pretend that she was dead. But she came back and it killed me all over again. I hated her. I hated her so much." The pain in my chest was making it hard to breathe. I inhaled deeply before looking up at Emmett. We were silent for a moment before he asked me the million dollar question.

"Do you still hate her?" I took a second before I shook my head. I had long since stopped hating Rosalie.

"I miss her so much. But it's been years and there's so much bad blood between us. How am I supposed to just pick up where we left off before she turned her back on me?" I felt so helpless. I was so angry before and now I was just…vulnerable.

"It's not going to happen over night, Edward. You just need to take the first step and see where thing go. Do you know where she lives?"

"She emails me every now and again to let me know where she's at and what she's doing. She's in Seattle. I've followed her career and she's a damn good defense attorney. I'm…I'm really proud of her." I put my head in my hands again and closed my eyes. "You don't know how many times I've wanted to call her or write her back. I just couldn't do it. I haven't talked to her in so long. What do I say?" I looked back up at Emmett with pleading eyes.

"Well, before I would have told you to ask her to coffee, now the conversation has to go more like, 'Hey, Rose. It's Edward. I'm in a heap of trouble and I need your help.'" I sighed for what seemed like the thousandth time and pulled out my phone. There was no time like the present.

I sat with my thumb hovering over the send button for what seemed like a lifetime. Emmett waited patiently for me to build up the courage. Finally, after another eternity, I pressed the button and squeezed my eyes shut, holding the phone to my ear. She answered on the third ring.

"Rosalie Cullen." I tried to speak, but my mouth wouldn't open. "Hello?" I still couldn't get my brain to work my voice. "Hey listen, if this is…"

"Rose, it's Edward." There was silence from the other end. "Hello?"

"Edward? Is it really you?" It was strange hearing my sister sound so meek. The Rosalie I remembered was strong willed and hard-headed. I took a deep breath before answering.

"Yes." I heard a muffled sob coming from my sister's side of the phone and my heart broke a little. I had no idea that my calling her would affect her this much.

"I…I tried calling you, but you…the number was disconnected after a while." I could here the emotion deep in Rosalie's voice as she tried to control it.

"I know, I…I'm sorry." There was a moment of silence before I continued. "I miss you, Rose." I let out a small sob as a tear fell down my cheek. Rose was full out crying after my admission.

"I've missed you so much, Edward. I'll never forgive myself for what I did to you. I'm so sorry!" I closed my eyes as more tears fell.

"Shh, Rose. It's…It'll be okay." I took another breath to prepare myself for my next task. "Um, Rose? I…I need your help. I'm in a little bit of trouble and I need you to be my lawyer." There was a pause.

"How did you know I was in law?" She seemed slightly shocked.

"I read your emails. And I've been following your career. I…I just didn't know how to do it, Rose. I'm so sorry. I wanted to see you so badly, but I just didn't know how." I was shaking trying to keep myself together.

"Edward, it's okay. I understand. What I did to you was horrible and if you never forgive me it will be too soon. I…I don't deserve you, but I love you so much." Rose's voice was thick with tears. I pulled the phone away from my ear for a minute and rubbed my face with my hand, before putting it back.

"I love you too, Rosalie. So much. I'm…I'm sorry I had to call like this." Rose sniffed and I could hear her trying to calm herself down on the other end before she spoke.

"You could have hired anyone." My lips turned up some at how much of a little girl my sister sounded. Then I took a shaky breath and answered her.

"I could have. But you're the best and…and I really need my sister right now." The last part was barely audible, but I could tell from the fresh sobs on the other end that Rose heard me.

"Okay," she said after a minute, "I'll come this weekend. You're still in Forks?"

"Yes, but you're not coming here. I know you have the senator's dinner this weekend. It was in your last email." She hurried to reassure me.

"I can cancel. You're more important." I closed my eyes and laughed a little. It was surreal having Rose back in my life, however small that was.

"Rose, go to the dinner. I know it's a big deal. I'll come to Seattle next weekend."

Rose huffed out a fine and this time I really laughed. _That_ was the Rose I remembered. She had me tell her what the problem was. I told her what Bella heard and about how close I was to her, leaving out the part about how much I loved her. Rosalie listened and told to take Bella in to talk to the principal and say that if the situation does not get resolved that I would sue Lauren for slander. I thanked Rose and said good-bye.

"I'm…I'm really glad you called, Edward." I smiled.

"Me too, Rose. Me too." And then I hung up the phone.

"See?" I jumped at Emmett's booming voice. I had forgotten that he was there. "Wasn't so bad, was it? Now, let's watch the game."

I picked myself up off the ground and grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge before sitting on the couch and passing one to Emmett. We watched the game in silence except for the outbursts for bad calls or touchdowns and it was great.

For all of the trouble that was coming my way, I felt oddly peaceful. I had a great best friend, I had my sister back, at least partially, and I didn't have to stay far away from Bella. It might not have been the most ideal circumstances, but it wasn't terrible. And although it wasn't exactly appropriate, for the first time in a long time, I felt like everything would work out for the better.

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**A/N: And enter Rosalie! I have always seen Edward and Rosalie as the most sibling-like of the Cullen family, so it just made sense for me to have her that way in my own fic.**

**Ah, Edward is one messed up case, huh? Breaks my heart, but it might explain a little of why he needs Bella so much. They have a connection that bulldozes through the walls Edward likes to erect. Thanks again for reading!**


	7. Dangerous Encounters

**A/N: As many of you know, the reason this chapter is so far behind schedule is because of a major mistake by my best friend. In a drunken night of awesomeness, he accidently deleted the entire chapter and I had to start from scratch. Needless to say, he's in the doghouse, lol.**

**Thanks a million for the reviews, my lovelies. I'm thrilled that you all love the way I brought Rosalie into the story. I'm so proud of the way her character is turning out.**

_**Disclaimer****:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

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~*~Dangerous Encounters~*~

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**Bella**

I was anxious all night, tossing and turning in my sleep, worrying about what was going to happen the next day with Edward. He told me to trust him and I did to get me off the hook, but I didn't think he cared much about his own well being and that concerned me. I couldn't understand it. Why did I matter to him more than he mattered to himself?

My brain was on overload trying to process everything. It was impossible for him to love me the way I loved him, but if I put forth every memory I had of mine and Edward's relationship, I could clearly point out how he could love me back, at least in some capacity. Before summer, there was no doubt in my mind that my feelings for him were all one-sided, but I couldn't honestly say that now.

It started with the gift he got me for my birthday. It could have been a gift for just a friend, but it felt like more. And then he held me in his arms for the first time. It was only for a moment, but it felt right and looking back I thought that maybe the look in Edward's eyes could have been because he wanted me, too.

There were also little things that if I analyzed closely enough, I could see a hint of the way that Edward may have felt. I brushed off all of the frowns when I talked about guys that I knew and relieved sighs when I said I wasn't interested in any of them as figments of my imagination, but what if they weren't? What if he truly did want something more?

My head was starting to hurt from contemplation and lack of sleep. I rolled over to look at the clock and groaned. It was five in the morning and I had gotten maybe and hour's worth of actual sleep. After another half hour of pretending to rest, I figured that showering and eating breakfast would be a better use of my time.

Forty-five minutes later I was full and completely dressed with nothing to do but think. I grabbed my backpack and keys and headed to school. It was deserted of course, being so early in the morning, so I hopped out of my truck and headed toward Edward's classroom. I sat down in front of his door and opened up some homework hoping to take my mind off of everything, but I was fooling myself.

I got two problems into my Trig homework when my thoughts started to wander. He came looking for me when I ran like an idiot into the forest and hurt myself, which a teacher would do, but a teacher wouldn't be crying while he held me, saying things like he thought he'd lost me. He came after me a second time, right into the girls bathroom and told me he would deal with things.

He held my face in his hands and made me promise not to give up on my dreams. There had to be something more there. A teacher or even just a friend would never be that interested in my future. And when he stroked my cheek, I almost melted. Why would he do something like that? I slammed closed my book and got up to stretch muttering to myself. Thinking got me nowhere.

I looked at my watch and realized that only a few minutes had passed since I sat down. I was in for a long morning. I didn't want to think anymore, but there wasn't much else for me to do and even if there were, I didn't have enough energy to do anything, so I settled for resting my forehead against the cool surface of the door with my hand resting automatically on the knob.

I turned the doorknob unconsciously knowing that it would be locked and eyed it with confusion when it turned. Inside, Edward was slumped over is desk marking papers and when he looked up at me he beamed. I loved seeing Edward smile, but I was still a little confused. Edward, seeing the questions in my eyes, walked over to me and answered right on cue.

"I took care of Lauren. She won't bother you anymore." I bit my lip and narrowed my eyes, noticing that he only mentioned my name. He laughed. "Or me. We're both in the clear."

"Why are you here so early?"

Something crossed Edward's face as he stared into my eyes, but he turned away and spouted off some ridiculous excuse. In a moment of bravery I reached for him. I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I did and Edward froze at the contact of our skin.

"Please, don't turn away from me again. Tell me what you're thinking." Edward turned then and I could see the pain and fear building in his eyes. "You can tell me anything."

"I…I can't, Bella. You don't know what you're asking of me." He shook his head to tell me not to push, but I could see how badly he wanted me to know.

"I need to know, Edward. Please."

I took a step closer so that there were only inches between our bodies. I didn't know where my sudden bravado was coming from, but I was starting to like it and Edward didn't pull away. We stayed locked in silence for several minutes before Edward's hand came up to rest on my cheek. I wanted to relish in his touch, but I didn't dare close my eyes for fear that the moment would end.

"Bella, I…I wanted…I just…When you…" I put my hand over his mouth finding everything I needed to know in his eyes and not wanting him to struggle anymore. I stepped even closer, slowly as I traced his lips with my fingers.

"I need you, Edward."

At my whispered request, Edward closed the space between us and placed his soft lips on mine as he moved his hand that was once on my cheek lightly over my shoulder and down my arm. I moved my own hands to his chest and slowly trailed them to wrap around his neck as we kissed in sensual bliss, using our tongues to tell each other how we felt.

Second by second our kisses become more urgent and our breathing became heavy. Edward tightened his grip on my waist and pushed me toward the wall moving his lips from mine and using them to tease my neck along with his tongue. A soft moan escaped me when Edward found the spot just above my collar bone and Edward growled against my skin as he ground his hips into mine.

I gasped at the feeling of Edward hard against me which caused him to move back. He was trying to catch his breath while fighting for words and shear fear filled his eyes.

"Bella… I'm so sorry! Please…"

I didn't let him finish his pleas for forgiveness as I attacked his lips with my own, pulling him to my as hard as I could. He tried to resist, but gave in after a second and fought me for dominance. He pulled my leg up around his waist and I wrapped the other willingly, letting him hold me against the wall as he thrust against me.

He moved once more to my neck and jaw and I moaned a little louder, letting his name fall from my lips. At that, Edward moved with more fervor and slid his hand under the waistband of my pants and underwear. I screamed at the feeling of Edward fingers circling my most private spot and felt my stomach start to tighten.

"God, Bella, I love you." I could only kiss him and scream his name in response as I felt my entire body contract with my orgasm. Then the door flew open and standing there behind the principal and Mrs. Cope were Jessica and Lauren with the most malicious grins on their faces. I dropped my legs from around Edward's waist and he set me on the ground.

"What the hell is going on here, Mr. Cullen?" Principal Farmer was fuming mad. I tried to speak, but Edward beat me to it.

"It's my fault. I took advantage of Ms. Swan when she looked to me for guidance. I take full responsibility for my actions." I stared at Edward incredulously. Why was he doing this? Teaching was all he had and he was giving it up for me?

"No! Stop this! You can't do this!" I turned to Principal Farmer with terror and determination. "This is all on me. I seduced Mr. Cullen and then blackmailed him. If you want to punish someone, punish me." The principal looked at me then with a pitying eye.

"Don't worry, Ms. Swan, you're in safe hands now. You don't have to be afraid anymore. We'll take care of this. Mrs. Cope, call the police, please."

"No! What are you doing? He didn't do anything!" But it seemed as if no one could hear me, so I turned to Lauren. Jessica had the good sense to look ashamed. "I will kill you! Do you hear me? I will kill you for what you did to him!"

I felt someone grab my shoulder and shook it off. I didn't want to be placated, but the hand was back and shaking me. "Bella!" I turned to Edward. "Wake up!"

I couldn't make sense of his words. I was awake. I was trying to defend him and no one would listen to me. "What?" I asked stupidly.

"Wake up." I opened my eyes then and Edward was kneeling beside me in front of the door to his classroom, holding me by the shoulders and looking very worried. "Are you awake now?"

"I…I was sleeping," I stated redundantly. Edward chuckled.

"Yeah, I figured as much." Edward helped me up and turned to unlock to door. "What on earth were you dreaming about?"

I had been picking up my binder and books, but at Edward's question, I remembered my sleep talking habit and everything fell to the floor in a series of loud bangs. Edward eyed me questioningly, but I said nothing as I my dream came back to me at full force and my cheeks started burning a brilliant red.

"Bella? Are you okay?" Edward was growing steadily more worried. I tried to talk, but nothing came out of my open mouth. "Bella, what's the matter?"

"What did you hear?" I barely got the words out through my clenched teeth and forced breathing. Edward's anxious expression gave way to confusion for a split second before he smiled his crooked grin that I loved so much, but he didn't say anything and I let out my breath in a huff. He laughed at that.

"Well," he paused as he bent down to help me with my things, "I was walking down the hall and I heard you scream my name. I swear, I've never ran so fast in my life. You need to stop scaring me or I'll be grey before I turn thirty."

He smiled at me and I laughed half-heartedly. If he only knew why I was actually screaming his name. It had been a while since Edward had pleasured me in my dreams, but never had my subconscious lover told me those three little words. I was still recovering from the emotion shock of it all and waiting for Edward to continue in what he overheard, but he said nothing.

We walked into the class room and he glanced sideways at me, a smirk still playing at his lips. He was having far too much fun drawing out my suspense and I was still slightly mortified that I let out something that I shouldn't have.

"So, is that it?" I asked impatiently. Edward laughed lightly, but then furrowed his brow.

"Well, no. You said that _he_ didn't do anything. And, uh…well, you were rather convincing when you were threatening…who were you threatening?" I laughed a little hysterically at having to reveal myself. I could have lied, but Edward would have known and forced it out of me anyway.

"Lauren," I mumbled self-consciously. I wasn't sure how okay Edward would be with me protecting him in my dream. This situation wasn't exactly covered in our conversation about boundaries, but one side of his mouth twisted up into my favorite smile as he sighed.

"I thought I told you, you don't have to worry about that. I said I'd take care of it." I crossed my arms and just stared at Edward, but he didn't seem to have the slightest clue as to why I was looking at him so skeptically.

"You did, but I'm not really worried about myself. So, did you take care of it for both of us or just me?"

Edward opened his mouth to reply, but closed it again without a word. The confusion written on his face about how I knew he was willing to go down for me was blatant and I would have laughed if I hadn't been so worried about him actually considering the prospect. There was no way I could tell him that I knew of his thoughts because I suspected his feelings for me so I answered his puzzlement with more or less half truths.

"You forget, Mr. Cullen, I know you better than you know yourself sometimes. You put a ton of things before your own needs, student welfare being one of them. So, I ask again, both of us or just me? I'm not letting you throw yourself under a bus for me." Edward rolled his eyes at that point and sat behind his desk, pulling papers out of his bag.

"Both of us," he replied dryly. He started to say something about what was going to happen that morning, but changed his mind. "How would you stop me, exactly? I mean, if I did want to throw myself under a bus for you?"

"I would…"

I paused as I realized that there really was nothing I could do to keep Edward out of trouble. He was the authority figure and it didn't matter who might have started our imaginary fling, he would be at fault. I pressed my lips together and narrowed my eyes at the smirk on his face.

"If you go down, I go down. All the more reason to save yourself, yes?" I smiled triumphantly as his own smile vanished and he looked at me, exasperated.

"Well, there's no need to worry now, is there?" he said with a sigh. "I told you I would take care of things and I have. I already put an urgent request into the principal and he should call us down to his office sometime during class. Lauren, too." He must have seen the fear in my eyes because he quickly continued. "I'll do all the talking."

I nodded, but I was not looking forward to this. I knew that it was necessary, but Lauren was vindictive and playing the part of tattle tale was bound to rile her up. I just hoped that whatever Edward had planned was enough to keep her off my back. It looked like Edward wanted to say more, but the warning bell rang and I took my seat waiting for the class to fill up.

Every minute that passed felt like hours upon hours and I could feel the eyes of every student in the class boring into me as I tried to focus on the lecture. Edward seemed perfectly calm as he talked to us about comparisons in literature and what writing styles worked more effectively in whichever genre. I was actually a little annoyed that he could be so relaxed while I was freaking out.

I chanced a look around the classroom and shook my head at my absurdity. No one was staring at me and I scolded myself for being so paranoid. But then I got to Lauren and I regretted my decision to look up from my notes. She was whispering to the girl next to her and both were making no effort to hide there gaze.

My chest tightened and I no longer cared about the wrath of Lauren. I was more ready than ever for this meeting, whatever it might entail, because I cared too much about Edward to have him hurt by my silly infatuation. At least, I thought I didn't care, but my nerves went into overdrive when Mrs. Cope walked into the room with another teacher and spoke to Edward.

He nodded his head a few times and set down the piece of chalk he had been using to write with. "Bella and Lauren, will you both please come with me?"

The entire class burst out into not so quiet whispers as Lauren and I followed Edward out of the classroom. I could see Lauren's confused glare out of the corner of my eye, but I avoided looking straight at her fearing she would turn me to stone like the evil Medusa.

Maybe that was a bit of an over exaggeration, but I did need all the courage I could muster if I didn't want to look like the nervous mess I actually was and one look at Lauren would have made me sick to my stomach. Edward needed me to be strong and so I would be. For him.

Finally, after the longest walk I'd ever taken to the front office, we were led to sit in front of the Principal's desk where three chairs awaited us along with Principal Farmer. The man was hardnosed and hypocritical and he looked like a walrus with his pudgy face and bristly mustache. Though I'd only really talked to him a total of four times, I knew plenty about him from Charlie and Edward and I didn't like him.

"Mr. Cullen, you asked to see me this morning?" he asked, trying to be menacing. It would have annoyed me if I hadn't been as on edge as I was.

"Yes, yesterday Ms. Swan came to me worried because she overheard some very inappropriate rumors from Ms. Mallory." Edward started off calm, but I could hear the strain grow in his voice with each word. "They were of a sexual nature involving myself with Ms. Swan and I'm very upset about this. I have never done anything to elicit such lies and if it is not resolved my lawyer is already putting forth a lawsuit for slander against Ms. Mallory and the school."

"The school? I assure you Mr. Cullen that the school is not at fault here." I almost wanted to laugh that the hardness to Principal Farmer's tone was now completely gone.

"The school has not done anything, you're right. But if the school continues to do nothing regarding Ms. Mallory then I will be forced to include it in my claim. My lawyer has no doubt that I will win."

I was in complete shock as was Lauren. I'd never known her to keep quiet before, but she was just staring blankly at Edward as if she didn't understand what she was hearing. Heck, I didn't understand what I was hearing. Edward was so confident in his words and mannerisms that I knew he wasn't acting and it awed me.

I had never seen him so avid before. Of course he showed passion when speaking in class and during our conversations once upon a time, but now he had a different kind of liveliness about him. He should have been as nervous as I was, but it was as if some weight had been lifted from his shoulders instead of placed there. I was so enamored by him that Lauren's outburst made me jump a few inches out of my chair.

"This is ridiculous! I said no such thing!"

She was staring straight at me as if daring me to contradict her. Edward told me that I didn't have to talk and true to his word, when the principal tried to question me he interrupted. I appreciated Edward trying to defend me, but somewhere between my admiration of him and my anger at Lauren, my fear left me with nothing but determination. I may not have liked confrontation very much, but I was not going to be intimidated by the likes of Lauren Mallory.

"I was in the stall when Lauren and Jessica walked into the bathroom." Edward looked confused by my interruption, but I could also see the corner of his mouth threatening to twist into a smile. "Lauren told her that I was having sex with Mr. Cullen not only to keep my job as Editor in Chief of the Literary Magazine, but also for an A in AP Lang. I'm sure if you check my work you'll see that I earned both my grade and my position by merit."

Lauren looked like a fish out of water with her mouth opening in closing in shock. She had always made snide little comments toward me that I ignored because they weren't worth my time, but it was clear now that she thought I was scared of her. My sudden confidence confused her and I was more than tempted to laugh at her expression.

"You…" she started, trying to think of something to say. "I…"

"That will be quite enough, Ms. Mallory. Mr. Cullen, we will get this taken care of immediately. You and Ms. Swan may head back to class."

Edward and I made it around the corner of the building before the laughter I had been trying to hold back, erupted from my lungs. Edward just stood there looking amused as I tried to catch my breath.

"Did you see her face?" I let out another giggle and sighed. "You were really great in there. Your lawyer must be really good, huh?" Edward smiled at me with a twinkle in his eye. He debated with himself only momentarily before this time deciding to let me inside his head.

"I did it, Bella. I called her." I knew exactly who he was talking about and the light bounce to his step all morning finally made since. "She told me what to do today and we're going to try and work things out."

I couldn't help the tears that welled up in my eyes. I wanted so badly to hug him and congratulate him, but after the scare we had gone through, even the conversation we were having was a risk. It was too personal, but I had been trying to get Edward to talk to his sister ever since he told me about her and I was happy that he dropped our restrictions just for those few moments to tell me his news.

"Don't cry," he said softly.

I could see him clench his hand shut and I knew that he wanted to wipe away my tears. If I had seen that a few weeks earlier I would have thought nothing about it, but my mind was becoming clearer and I just knew that Edward felt something, too. I closed my eyes and smiled. The moment was bittersweet.

On the one hand, he had feelings for me. How deep those feelings were, I didn't know, but they were there, just under the surface. We had a connection and it wasn't one sided. The bitterness seeped in when I remembered that we couldn't act on anything we felt for each other and I was still left with only my fantasies.

I sighed opening my eyes, smiling to show Edward that I was fine. He gave me a nervous smile in return and I laughed. It was the same kind of smile I had seen on Jasper when Alice cried over the Jimmy Choo's he bought her for her birthday. Men just didn't know what to do with happy crying girls.

The bell rang while I was telling him how excited I was for him and I had to half-run back to his classroom in order to pick up my books and make it to my class in time. Luckily I was able to get there without seriously injuring anyone but myself. I was still recovering and running through crowded hallways didn't exactly help my condition.

I took my seat next to Mike, sore and a little upset that I had to leave Edward so abruptly. I wasn't really in the mood for his overfriendliness, but when he didn't greet me right away I found it more than a little odd. I looked over at him and he turned his head quickly so as not to meet my gaze. Great, the rumor was beginning to circulate.

Gossip was like a wildfire; once it spread it was a little hard to control. I just hoped that we caught this wildfire in time. Unfortunately, as I moved from Trigonometry to AP Government, it seemed like I was getting more and more looks from the other students. By the time lunch rolled around, I could even pick up my name from the whispered conversations around me.

I made my way quickly through the line and sat down at my usual table, not even wanting to eat anymore. It wasn't five minutes later that Alice plopped down beside me in a very un-Alice-like manner and when I looked at her she was staring straight ahead in full pout mode.

"I miss my best friend," she said, still not looking at me.

"Alice, what are you talking about? I'm right here?" She looked at me then and I could see the hurt in her eyes though she was trying hard to hide it.

"Then tell me why I had to hear from every single student in this school except you that Lauren Mallory got suspended because you heard her spreading a rumor about you sleeping with Mr. Cullen, so he took you both down to the principal's office demanding clean up duty and that Lauren's getting sued for slander?" she asked all on one breath.

I stared at Alice a few moments before the hilarity of the situation caught up with me and I started giggling at her reprimand. I had been worried all morning that the damage Lauren had caused was irreparable, but all of the looks and whispers had been for my actions against her not for any false relations with a teacher. When I looked back up at Alice, her lips were pressed into a line and she was glaring at me.

I laid my head on her shoulder with a heavy sigh. "You know I didn't mean to keep this from you. I'm really sorry. I didn't even know what was going to happen till this morning."

Slowly, I felt her arms drop from being crossed over her chest and I smiled. She could never stay mad at me for long. "Alright, Bella, I forgive you, but it's going to cost you." I sighed knowing this was coming and looked at her expectantly. "I get to pack your suitcase."

I scrunched up my face realizing that I was going to have absolutely no comfy clothes this weekend, but agreed. I really did feel bad for not calling Alice. At least I knew that I would look good when we went out. So what if I wasn't dressing up for a guy? That didn't mean I didn't want to look good for myself.

I couldn't help but wish that Edward would be there this weekend to see me all dressed up. It was a stupid wish and I shook my head to get rid of the notion.

"You're not telling me something," Alice said, breaking me out of my thoughts. I looked around to make sure that no one was within earshot. Jasper was still in line for food.

"I kind of figured something out this morning." The look in her eyes urged me to continue. "I, uh, had this dream, about Romeo and me and, well, it was after a long night of heavy thinking and, um…" I stuttered over my words helplessly, "well, now that I think about it, it just sounds stupid."

"Oh, come off it, Bella, and just tell me!" Alice was bubbling with excitement and I could tell that she already knew what I was going to say.

"I've never had a dream with us that was so vivid, nor one were he tells me that he loves me. I know that it's just a dream, but I think maybe it was telling me something that I already knew. I just…I think he might feel something, too." I smiled shyly at my admission. Thinking something and saying it out loud was a big difference.

Alice squealed as Jasper got to the table and he looked at her, amused. "Am I missing something?"

"Bella's letting me pack her suitcase!" I had to hand it to Alice. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't what she was so happy about.

We spent the rest of lunch talking about inconsequential things, but Alice would give me a look every few minutes to 'talk' with me about Edward. She obviously wanted as many details as possible, but it wasn't going to happen in front of her boyfriend. I had to laugh at Alice's bouncing legs while she waited impatiently to get me alone.

Unfortunately for her, she wasn't able to do that for almost a week and she nearly tackled me when I let her in my house the next Wednesday. I swear I'd never know where Alice's absorbent amounts of energy came from. She flitted across my room packing what she would deem my 'acceptable clothes' while I filled her in on everything Edward for hours and she never once got tired.

But as excitable as Alice was, something about her excitement for the Seattle trip was off. I tried to ask her about it, but she just shrugged it off and ignored the question. I decided I'd drop it for the time being, but I knew that there was something she wasn't telling me. I figured I'd just have to wait until we got there to find out what it was.

Thursday went really well. By that time the buzz about what Lauren did had died down and I could pretty much walk down the hallway without someone stopping me to either get details or congratulate me on sticking it to her. I really didn't like all the attention I was getting and I was glad when it was over. Well, almost over.

Lauren would be back on Friday after her suspension ended and I wasn't too thrilled to have to see her again. At least I only had to put up with her for AP Lang. I always hated that LitMag didn't meet on Fridays, but with Lauren back in the picture, I was ecstatic to be starting my weekend early.

I wish my good Thursday could have carried over another day, but luck was not on my side. Lauren glared at me all through class and it wouldn't have gotten to me so badly except that Edward was gone and I was a little bummed not to be able to talk to him one more time before the weekend. So, when Lauren caught up to me just before lunch I groaned aloud in frustration. Why couldn't she just leave me alone?

"Looks like Mr. Cullen's not here to protect his little girlfriend today, is he?" I sighed and tried to push past her, but she wouldn't have that and grabbed my arm. "I don't think so, Bella. You're not getting away with this."

"What did I ever do to you, Lauren?" I asked her exasperated. She glared even harder if it were possible.

"You moved here." I sighed. It was such a generic response. I tried to pull my arm away from her, but she was holding on tightly. I wasn't a violent person, but in that second I could really see myself pounding Lauren's head against the lockers. Repeatedly.

"Oh, Lauren, how could you?" I turned as much as I could in Lauren's grasp to see Alice skipping up. She was wearing a sickly sweet smile and her voice was like honey and danger all at once. I loved Alice, but she was scary sometimes. "I told you if you never wanted those pictures to get out that you shouldn't do anything to provoke me. You're provoking me, Lauren."

I was shocked to feel the hand around my arm loosen and turned to see and a terrified looking Lauren. I almost felt bad for her, seeing her look so vulnerable like that, but then I remembered why Alice had to threaten her and all sympathy vanished. Lauren backed away shaking her head and apologizing, until she hit the wall and turned to storm off.

"Pictures?" I asked Alice with a raised eyebrow. She smiled deviously.

"Lauren had a little too much to drink at a party one night and started making out with this really hot guy. I got several pictures of her and it turns out this hot guy was actually a very masculine looking girl." I couldn't help the laugh that exploded from me at that moment. The picture in my head was priceless.

"Oh, Alice," I smiled as I hugged my terrifying best friend.

"I know. That's why you love me."

The rest of the day went by horribly slow. Alice, Jasper and I were leaving right after school and it seemed like just because I wanted school to get done faster, the minutes passed by at the rate of a snails crawl. It was torture.

Finally, as I was learning the proper uses for el and la in the Spanish language, the bell rang and I couldn't walk fast enough to get to Jasper's car. I was so ready to just be getting away from everything and I had to remember to thank Alice and apologize for complaining so much.

By three-thirty we were on the road and having a blast. Alice turned on Aqua and Jasper just shook his head as we rocked out to Barbie Girl, singing as loud as we could just to get on his nerves. It was all in good fun though. He even got us back when he faked the car stalling. Alice was mad for all of five minutes before she forgave him.

We got to the hotel by six-forty-five and only had enough time to drop off our bags and freshen up a bit before heading to some fancy restaurant that Alice made reservations at. It was a really nice restaurant and the food was really good. I would have had a lot of fun had the waiter not treated us as if we were lower than the dirt on the bottom of his shoe.

Jasper and I tried to calm Alice down, but there was no reasoning with her. She was furious. "I don't care if I'm only seventeen! I'm a customer here and I demand to be treated with respect."

At that, Alice got up and stormed to the front of the restaurant to give the manager what for. It wasn't two minutes later that the manager called the waiter over and led them both through a door that I assumed was his office. Jasper and I had to struggle to keep our laughter down. Alice was better than any entertainment source I'd ever known.

I waited a few minutes for Alice to come back, but with the rich meal and the stuffy atmosphere I really needed to get up and stretch, so I excused myself to the restrooms. They were located near the front where Alice had stomped off to originally, but as soon as I turned the corner I froze. Never in a million years did I expect Edward to show up at the same restaurant on the same night in Seattle of all places.

I should have been thrilled to see him. In fact, I was until he turned to the strawberry blonde next to him and brushed her cheek with his thumb. I could feel the tears fighting there way forward, but I willed them away. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening. I was so sure that he had feelings for me, but I had based my discovery on a touch that he had just shared with another woman.

I turned on my heel and near ran into the lounge. I was still fighting off tears and I wasn't ready to face Jasper or Alice yet. I was in a secluded little corner when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned expecting to see one of my friends, maybe hoping to see Edward, but instead I was met with an unfamiliar face and steel grey eyes.

"I saw you run off back there. Are you okay?" he asked.

The words were nice enough, but paired with the way he trailed his hand down the length of my arm, I became very uncomfortable. He wasn't an unattractive man, but he had to have been close to double my age and the way he looked at me made me feel like I was some sort of prize as opposed to an actual human being. It didn't faze him that I didn't answer and he continued to stroke my arm as he spoke.

"It's very nice to meet you. My name is James." I tried to get my legs to listen to my mind and walk away, but something in this man made me very afraid and he smiled like he knew it. "May I have your name?"

"Bella, there you are. I've been looking all over for you," I heard a voice say, but I didn't look up until I felt an arm around my shoulders. James had dropped his hand immediately and I looked up to see Jasper staring daggers at him. "Are you ready to go?"

I nodded and Jasper must have felt it because he didn't take his eyes off of my pursuer until we left the lounge. We got outside and he stopped me and turned me to him. "Are you okay, Bella?"

I laughed a little nervously. Was I okay? I didn't feel okay. The vibes I got from that man were more than enough to shake me up and if you add seeing Edward with that woman on top of it all, I was definitely _not_ okay.

"I'm fine," I replied. Jasper obviously didn't believe me, but decided to drop it as Alice came running out of the restaurant.

"Bella, did something happen?" Alice always knew.

"I'm fine, I promise. Did you let the manager have it?" I asked to get the topic off of myself.

"Of course I did. Can you believe he tried to give me a free dinner some other time? I almost flipped my lid. I mean did he really think he could pacify me like that? Besides, we're only in Seattle for one more night and we're going to La Tua Cantante tomorrow. No, I got the waiter fired and tonight's dinner was taken care of."

I laughed at Alice's little rant. I might not have been the happiest person in the world at that moment, but she did make me feel a little better. That is until we got to the hotel and she made me spill everything while Jasper was in the shower. Changing the subject with her never works. She always remembers.

After an exhausting vent session and another Alice rant about Edward screwing everything up again - I asked Alice about hat she meant and she again ignored my questions - I was finally able to get some sleep. Unfortunately, it wasn't a very restful sleep. All night I had dreams of Edward with that woman and James touching my arm.

I was exhausted in the morning and not looking forward to Alice's day of shopping and fun, but she was, so I drank the Starbucks she bought me and put on a smile. It really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. We hit all of the major stores that Alice wanted to shop, but it was a comfortable day, more or less. I even enjoyed the pedicure that Alice insisted I have and I was starting to really look forward to going to the club.

My fashionable friend had me dressed in a designer dress that accentuated my curves and my hair, pulled back from my face with a ribbon, fell in curls down my bare back. I felt sexy, but double guessed myself when I saw the look Alice's face.

"Does my make-up look funny?" I asked checking the mirror. It was so weird for me to act like such a girl, but if I was going to do something, I always did it fully. I wanted to look good.

"No, you look hot. That's not it." She had a look of deep concentration and I had to wave my hand in front of her face to get her attention. "Huh? Oh, sorry. Hey, Bella, do you really want to go tonight, because we can do something else?"

"Alice, I'm already dressed up! Come on, let's go," I smiled. She was acting really weird, but then again, Alice always acted weird.

We got to the club around nine-thirty and Alice stuck by my side like glue. When we danced, which wasn't often, it was all three of us and when we weren't dancing, we were all hanging out at our table. Alice was never one to make me feel like a third wheel, but this was ridiculous. She didn't spend one minute with just Jasper.

After a rather active dancing round I decided to grab myself a drink and Alice tried to follow me again.

"Alice! Spend some time with your boyfriend! I'm just going to be at the bar. You can see me from here, okay?" Alice bit her lip, but nodded. I knew that she was just worried about me, but I was feeling a lot better after the day we had.

I took a while for the bartender to get to me, but he did eventually and I ordered my Coke. I was on my way back to Alice when somebody bumped into me, spilling their own drink on my arm and a little on my brand new designer dress. Alice was going to kill me.

"I'm so sorry," the man said taking a napkin and wiping my arm.

I looked up as soon as I heard the voice. Was this why Alice was acting so strange? I back away from James as soon as I realized who he was, but he just laughed and walked away. Maybe Jasper scared him a little, I thought. I was just glad that he left me alone.

I looked over to the dance floor to see Alice staring at me and I waved at her to let her know that I was fine and for her to keep dancing. It really wasn't fair for her to spend all of her time with me when I could tell that she wanted to dance with her boyfriend. She looked contemplative for a minute, but after another wave from me, she gave in and had a little fun.

I started to walk to the bathroom to take car of my dress, drinking my drink and feeling a little lightheaded. By the time I got there I had downed almost half of my Coke and the lightheadedness had turned into a full on dizzy spell. I set my drink on a shelf near the door and tried to sit on the chair that was there, but I missed completely. The last thing I remembered was a pair of arms grabbing me around the waist before unconsciousness took me.

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**A/N: I know a lot of you wanted the whole bump and grind thing to go on and, believe me, I was right there with you. Unfortunately, it wasn't in the cards for this story. I hope you don't hate me for what did happen.**

**I told some of you about my fantasy of banging Lauren's head against the lockers and thought I'd add it in there for good measure. So did you like how I took care of Lauren? Sorry, no beat downs. It just wasn't in character.**

**Lastly, thanks for reading. I really appreciate all the people who take the time to read my story. It means the world to me.**


	8. Tears and Fears

**A/N: I'm an accident waiting to happen, which is why this chapter is inexcusably late. I ended up breaking my wrist, hand, and finger in five different places. Needless to say that this monstrosity I call a cast is doing little in the way of helping me type. I am limited to using my left hand to write and it is harder than I ever thought it would be. Thanks to all who sent there support and well wishes, and to those who reviewed the last chapter. You all rock.**

_**Disclaimer****:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

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~*~Tears and Fears~*~

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**Edward**

I couldn't wipe the stupid grin from my face as I packed my bags Thursday night. I hadn't seen my sister in four years and that was when I left her out in the cold begging for me to forgive her. To say Rosalie and I had a rocky past would be an understatement. Our relationship was severely damaged, but hopefully with this weekend being the starting point, we would begin to patch things up.

But I also had my doubts. Rosalie and I had been different people from the very beginning. I was always into music and art, she was into make-up and social standings. And arguing. Rosalie always loved a good fight. We would fight over everything from who actually won the spitting contest to who our parents loved more.

Rosalie could convince a person that the sky was red as they were staring straight up at it. It made her one hell of a lawyer, but I was afraid maybe we had become _too_ different over the time we had been on our own. What if we couldn't get past those differences? What if I was getting my hopes up just to be let down again?

I shook my head to clear it. No matter how far we had grown apart, she still helped me out of a difficult situation with no questions asked. I knew that part of that was because she felt guilty, but she would have been there regardless. She was my sister and she loved me. I knew that and I had to believe that things would be better this time around.

On that last line of thought I laughed out loud. It was like Bella was inside my head telling me to be calm and optimistic. I was so glad that I told her about Rose. I wanted to so badly, but there was the problem of our restrictions and I couldn't cross those lines again. But after what we did in the office I couldn't keep it from her. She was the reason I had the courage to reach out to my sister in the first place.

She was so happy for me she actually cried and I had to mentally restrain myself from comforting her. My hand was itching to reach out to her. Telling her was the best feeling in the world and although in that moment I didn't care about restrictions, I still couldn't go too far. I controlled myself and, thankfully, just being near her and seeing her smile was enough for me.

And seeing her stand up to Lauren was fantastic. I couldn't believe how confident she was. I could barely keep the smile down with how proud I was of her and Lauren's shock wasn't helping matters much. It was all I could do to keep my face straight as we left the office, but apparently my amusement was nowhere near Bella's because we barely made it around the corner before she doubled over in laughter.

What I wouldn't give to hear that everyday. The sound of Bella happy was by far the most beautiful thing I had ever heard and to be able to make that happen was one of the highlights of my life. Unfortunately, I wasn't aloud to want that. After that little conversation, we had to go back to the regular guidelines and pretend that we meant nothing more to each other that student and mentor.

I zipped up my suitcase and set it next to the door, no longer wearing my stupid grin. Why couldn't I have gotten a job in another district and met Bella in a coffee shop instead of in a classroom? I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. It was no use living on what ifs. The fact of the matter was that Bella was a student and being close to her was not an option.

As I laid down and tried to sleep I thought about all of the ways I had broken the rules with Bella. It was stupid of me to think that I could ignore my feelings, but I did and it cost me the best thing that ever happened to me. She was still in my life, but only just. I felt like I was living on a chess board. My life had become a cultivated game of strategy and with one wrong move Bella would be taken away from me forever. I honestly didn't know how I would survive something like that.

I must have drifted off to sleep because it seemed like not ten minutes later Emmett was yelling at me through the front door to get my lazy ass up. I looked over at the clock and groaned before I edged myself off the bed and went to answer the door.

"Emmett, it's five AM. I told you we weren't leaving till nine." Emmett shoved a coffee in my face and walked past me. How anyone could look so happy so early in the morning was incredible.

"Yeah, I was going to go out for a run, but it started raining so let's go," he said grabbing my luggage and walking back out the door. I grunted an insult after him, but it was lost under my yawn.

I snuck in a five minute shower before I got dressed and met Emmett down at his Jeep. Like he said, it was pouring and I had to run so as to not get soaked. My giant best friend tossed me a towel as I hopped into his monstrous vehicle and then sped off toward Seattle. When we got to the highway he turned up the radio and started bobbing his head to the beat.

"I swear it should be illegal for how peppy you are at this hour," I said before taking a deep swallow of coffee and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

"Can I help it if I haven't had a vacation in since last Spring Break? You're lucky you don't need a summer job to pay the bills, man. What I wouldn't give to be able to chill during the sunny months. So, does your sister look like you?"

I pulled out the tiny wallet-sized picture of Rosalie and handed it to Emmett. It had been in my wallet since the day that Rose gave it to me telling me jokingly that that way I could always see her beautiful face. Even as I grew older and switched wallets, I couldn't part with it. It was worn and faded and the girl in the photo was ten years younger than the one I was going to see, but it was the only picture I had.

There were tons of pictures of Rose at the big house, but when I moved into my apartment I left behind everything that house stood for. I left behind being abandoned and that meant leaving behind pictures, furniture and décor that tied me to the past. But still, I kept this one picture because I needed that small piece of my sister.

"Dude, your sister's hot," Emmett said seriously. I had to laugh. I was the one in love with a high school student, but Emmett was looking at the picture of a young girl and admiring her looks.

"She's sixteen in that picture, Emmett," I got out through my unrestrained giggles. Emmett snorted and glared in my direction.

"Yeah, alright. You're hilarious," he said dryly. "I meant that she's a good looking girl and I can imagine how hot your sister is now." I sighed and took the pictured back.

"Yeah, her fiancé thinks so, too."

Emmett huffed out a breath and mumbled something about all the good ones being taken. I just shook my head. Out of all of the women that throw themselves at him, he wanted my sister after seeing an old picture. Sometimes I wondered if my head was really the one that was twisted.

The rest of the trip was mostly quite with me trying to sleep unsuccessfully and Emmett drumming away on the steering wheel. At one point, I found a comfortable enough position that I almost reached dreamland. Unfortunately, the radio station chose that moment to play Emmett's favorite Jimi Hendrix song and with the combined volume of that and my best friend's off key singing I was catapulted out of unconsciousness.

I could have tried to sleep again, but by that point we were an hour away from Seattle and my nerves were starting to get the best of me. Rose hadn't asked me much about the whole Bella situation, but it was bound to come up and I was worried sick that she would see me for the creep that I was and send me right back to Forks. Or what if we were so different that we couldn't find anything to do while we were there? I could handle a lot of things, but one thing I couldn't was losing my sister again.

Emmett must have noticed how tense I got because he turned down the music after a while and just let me work through my fears. When we got to the city, I pulled out my phone and dialed Rose. I didn't even realize I was holding my breath until she answered and all my air came out in a whoosh. I had to take another deep breath before I started talking at a speed ten times faster than normal.

"Hey, I know I said we wouldn't be here till twelve-thirty, but Emmett came over early and we headed out and I hope that's okay. If it's not, we'll just find a café until you're ready. You're probably busy. It was stupid of me to call you when you're working. I'll just let you go." I went to hang up the phone, but Rose stopped me, yelling my name from the other end. I put the phone back up to my ear eagerly. "Yes?"

"You mean I can talk now?" she laughed. I pinched the bridge of my nose and shook my head. She must have thought I was a complete imbecile. "I took the day off today, Edward. Just come on over."

I sighed, trying to calm myself and ended the call with a quick goodbye. Emmett already had the directions so I didn't have to talk much on the way to Rose's apartment and I spent that time trying to relax. I don't know how long we were parked before Emmett nudged my shoulder and I realized we were outside The Metropolitan Tower.

"You go on up. I'll grab the bags."

I thanked Emmett and walked inside. The woman at the desk seemed to have radar or something because she zeroed in on me the second I came within sight. She had fiery red hair and catlike eyes that I didn't altogether trust. I smiled anyway to be polite and she gave me a bedroom look that would rival most call girls.

"Um, hello," I looked at her name tag, "Victoria, I'm here to see a Rosalie Cullen in the Van Gough Penthouse Suite?"

Her smile faltered a moment and I wondered if she had a problem with my sister, but I really didn't care. The woman gave me the keycard that Rosalie had sent down for me and I told her to let up Emmett when he got inside. I pressed the proper button inside the elevator, slipping the keycard into the slot, and went up on what seemed like the slowest elevator ride I'd ever taken.

Finally, I was at the front door, but when I went to knock I froze. What would I say? Did I hug her? Give her a kiss on the cheek? How was I supposed to act? I don't know how long I stood there running over things in my mind before Rose threw open the door and almost collided with me as she started to storm out the door.

Her eyes widened as she realized who I was and she rocked forward on her feet for a moment like she wanted to reach out and hug me. Instead, she stayed as still as I was, and both of us remained silent. Neither of us moved for the longest time, but I could see the doubt in Rosalie's eyes and before I realized what I was doing, I pulled her into me and held her as tightly as my arms could manage.

Rose gave as good as she got and I felt her arms tighten around my torso almost to the point of pain. I didn't care, though. I just held on for dear life as she shook in my arms and stained my shirt with her tears. I knew that I missed and needed Rose and that some part of her needed me as well, but I never knew how much until that moment.

We stayed like that for quite some time, neither one of us willing to let go, until I heard Emmett clearing his throat behind me. I turned to see him wearing a knowing smile and I smiled back, punching him in the arm before turning back to Rosalie. She was facing the other direction furiously wiping her face, trying to look presentable.

I could believe I was looking down at my sister. It was so odd being that much taller than her. The last time I had seen her, I barely took notice of our height difference and when I was sixteen, we were both around five foot nine. She was still just under six feet, but I had grown almost half a foot since then.

Her hair was also straighter than it used to be. When she was in high school it had a slight curl to it, but now it just had a gently wave. Her skin was a little tanner, as well. She was still pale, but not as pale as I was anymore. And her face lost the girlish qualities it once had. She was all woman now and even though I was her little brother, I felt like I missed out on getting to screen her boyfriends over the years.

I was brought out of my thoughts when Rosalie took a quick, deep breath and turned with a smile to meet Emmett. There was a look that passed over her face when she looked at him, but it was gone before I could identify it, so I dismissed it. But when I looked at Emmett, there was no denying the attraction he had for my sister. It was my turn to clear my throat and Emmett shook his head, brought back to the present.

"Right, uh, I'm Emmett," he said extending a hand. Rose smiled and took it in her own.

"Rosalie. It's very nice to meet you Emmett."

I looked between the two for a minute and had to shake my head. I hadn't known my sister for seven years so I couldn't tell if she was flirting or not, but it sure felt like it. And the goofy grin that graced Emmett's face was a dead giveaway to how smitten he was with her.

"Likewise," Emmett said, not letting go of Rose's hand.

"So, Rose," I interrupted, "Where is, uh, Mr. Right this morning?" Rosalie looked confused for a moment as she was brought away from Emmett, but quickly realized what I was asking and tore her hand away from him, looking mildly embarrassed.

"Oh, right, Mr. Right. He went into work this morning, but he wanted to take us out to dinner tonight to meet you." I tried to speak but Rose didn't give me a chance. "Why don't you guys come in and get settled. There's only one guest bedroom, but I brought in another bed. You two will have to decide who gets the twin and who gets the queen."

If I hadn't known my sister's old antics with getting out of trouble I would have thought her take-charge attitude a sign of confidence. As it were, I knew she was nervous about something and I had a feeling it had to do with Emmett. Rose wasn't really one for blushing, but she had had a steady pink glow about her ever since she saw him.

I would have laughed, but it seemed like Emmett returned Rose's attraction and I didn't want my life or my friends interrupting her happiness. I wanted to say something to him about staying away from my sister, but I could hardly do that I front of her and she was still talking full speed ahead about sleeping arrangements. She did stop, however, when the door flew open and a beautiful strawberry blonde entered looking frazzled at the four coffees in her hands.

"I got here as fast as I could, honey, but the stupid barista didn't know macchiato from frappachino. Do you think your brother will like…" she trailed as she looked up and saw everyone in the room. She blinked a few times. "Oh…You're here."

Rose covered her mouth to keep from laughing at the woman's face, which resembled a deer caught in headlights. I could barely keep my own face straight, but looking over at Emmett made it slightly easier as he stared at my sister with a sense of reverence. Yes, I would definitely have to have a talk with him.

The woman passed out the drinks and introduced herself as Tanya Hutton, Rose's personal assistant and best friend extraordinaire. I could see why Rose would like her. She seemed light hearted, but tough skinned and she was fun to be around.

As we were talking, Rose wrapped her arms around Tanya's shoulders and I could tell by the way that she tilted her blonde head against the other woman's that Tanya had been there for Rose in ways I hadn't. They were more like sisters than colleagues or friends and although I was happy that Rose had someone to lean on, I also had to admit that I was a tiny bit jealous.

I was jealous that I couldn't have been that person, even though I probably wouldn't have been if we were close. And I was jealous that I had been alone to deal with my pain when she had someone to share the burden. I pushed my feelings aside when I looked more closely at Tanya. She was stiff in Rose's arms and it was confusing me that she seemed both happy and sad at the same time.

I tried to brush it off when she headed out to get breakfast for us, but something about her demeanor was nagging at me. I figured I'd just have to think on it more, later and focused on getting to know my sister again. Apparently, her apartment came with gym privileges and a pool and Emmett was ecstatic to be able to get in his morning work out.

It was weird how conversation seemed to halt once Rose and I were alone. It was several minutes before either of us actually said anything, but Rose took the lead as always.

"So, you're a teacher, huh?" I nodded. "I always figured you'd become a concert pianist," she said, wondering. I really had wanted that, but with everything that happened to me, I gave up on that dream.

"I'm happy doing what I am. I feel closer to mom," I told her with a small smile. She gave one right back and sighed. "So, you're some hot shot attorney. Kind of young to be getting invited to have dinner with the senator, don't you think?"

Rose laughed and pointed a finger at me. "Look who's talking! I guess overachiever must run in the family. Kind of young to already be a high school teacher, don't you think?"

I smiled a little and turned my head so that Rose wouldn't see the pain in my eyes. Overachieving really had nothing to do with it. I just didn't have anyone to get in my way and too much time on my hands for studying. Part of me wanted to tell her how miserable I was. Part of me really wanted to make her hurt for hurting me, but the better part of me just wanted my sister back.

"You've changed a lot," Rose said, bringing me back to look at her.

I smiled. "How so?"

"For one, you're huge. I hate that you're taller than me now, although I always knew it would happen eventually. And these muscles! You were so skinny in high school. You've got stubble now, too. I remember when you started shaving your freshmen year and I never understood it. You didn't have anything to shave!" I laughed out loud at the confused frustration on my sister's face.

"It wasn't about getting rid of hair, Rosalie. It was about becoming a man." Rose just snorted. "Hey, you got a period to mark your entrance into womanhood. This is the man's way of doing things."

"But you didn't have any hair," she said slowly to emphasize her point. I laughed.

"And you expected me to wait until I was eighteen to 'become a man'?"

"Well, men are slower when it comes to maturity," she said seriously and then smiled. I just rolled my eyes. If I didn't drop the argument, we would have been debating all night.

After a few minutes, Tanya came back with boxes and boxes of breakfast and we sat down to eat. Emmett was still working out, so we saved his and a little more. As I suspected, he came back up and finished all of his meal and the rest of the girls'. The man could put away food like it was air and it worried me that Rose was impressed by how much my friend could eat. I was going to have to have that talk soon.

The sparks I saw fly between the two were undeniable, but Rose was happy. She was going to be married. It seemed as if Tanya recognized the air between them too, but I was again struck by her demeanor. It was almost like she wanted Rose and Emmett to have something, but at the same time she was upset by it. I was starting to get a headache from how conflicted that woman seemed.

There was moment when she looked at me that I saw something I hadn't seen in her at all the entire time I had been there. Her eyes held hope and I couldn't understand it. It wasn't like any kind of hope I recognized and it seemed to be mixed with relief. She found something in me that made her hope and it confused me to no end.

I tried to clear Tanya's odd behaviorisms from my head, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. She seemed to cling to me if Rose was busy with something else, but she was never fully there. She tried to be, I could see that, but something in her mind was pulling her away from the present. A small voice in my head said it was Rose, but I shook it away.

Emmett and I spent the rest of the day getting settled in and getting to know my sister and her friend. It was a relaxing day minus the Tanya mystery that my brain wanted to solve and the scowl she got when Rosalie's fiancé was mentioned made me uneasy. I knew there was something there, but I would have to wait and meet the man before I could think straight.

The women disappeared to go get ready for the dinner and Emmett started toward our room at a quarter to eight. I followed close behind Emmett and made sure to shut the door when I entered the room. He was wearing his usual smile, but there was something off about it.

"Wipe that silly smirk off your face. She's getting married in the spring." Emmett looked like he was ready to deny his obvious infatuation with my sister, but decided against it and gave me a guilty smile. "Please, Emmett, don't ruin this for her. I just got her back and if you do something to screw up her relationship and I never get to see her again, I will kill you."

"Whoa, dude, calm down. I'm not going to do anything, okay? I'm not the type to go after a taken woman for a one time deal. I go for the long haul," he said with a grin. I let out a small growl and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Relax, Edward. Don't have a coronary. I get that she's off limits."

I believed him, but more than that, I knew him and I knew he was still going to mess with me. We got dressed in silence, but I could almost hear Emmett's mind as he contemplated ways to make me nervous. I loved the man like a brother, but sometimes I really wanted to smack him. Of course, we were ready an hour before the women and he had that extra time to taunt me.

When they finally did emerge from the bedroom, Rose looked nervous and a little angry. Tanya looked worried, but it was different than what Rosalie was focused on. Tanya never took her eyes off Rose.

"He was supposed to be here an hour and a half ago, Tanya. Why does he always do this?"

Just then, the door opened and a blonde man in his mid to late thirties walked up to us and gave a fuming Rose a kiss on the cheek. And put his lips to her ear.

"Baby, I'm sorry I'm so late. I got held up at the office. You understand how that is right?"

Rosalie took a deep breath to calm herself and turned toward Emmett and me, but I could tell through the smile that she was still angry.

"Edward, Emmett, this is James Thurston, my fiancé."

I shook James hand and had to fight off the glare that wanted to come out. There was something about this guy that I didn't like and paired with the way Tanya regarded him, it was a feat dismissing the bile that rose in my throat. How could Rosalie not see how gross this guy was? She never had a problem putting a man in his place when I knew her and it was foreign for me to see her be smooth talked.

I didn't say anything to James for fear that I would speak my mind. Emmett saw what was happening and, being the best friend that he is, took over the conversation as we left the building. I looked over at Victoria as we passed and was met again with bedroom eyes, but that wasn't what bothered me.

What bothered me was her slightly disheveled appearance and that her look was directed at my sister's fiancé. And the worst part was that he returned that look with a wink. Emmett and I took his Jeep since there were too many to take one car comfortably. We didn't say a word the whole way to the restaurant, for which I was thankful, but when we arrived I stopped him before he could get out.

"Go for it," I said and he looked at me confused. "She's not off limits. If you really want to be with her then go for it, but I swear, Emmett, if you hurt her I will not hesitate to kick your ass."

I knew that I couldn't really do any physical damage to someone as ridiculously buff as Emmett, but he got the hint. He didn't like James any more than I did and he did like my sister.

When we got inside, Rose and her beau were off to the side arguing in hushed tones. Tanya seemed really upset about it and I felt like I had to cheer her up. I walked up to her half paying attention to the eyelash on her cheek and half paying attention to James, now staring past Rose. I brushed away the lash and held it up for Tanya.

"When we were younger, Rosalie and I used to make wishes on eyelashes. Why don't you try it?" I was rewarded with a small smile. She looked over to where Rose now stood alone and closed her eyes, wishing. "Now blow it away," I said as I watched James walk into the lounge.

Tanya took a deep breath and blew away the lash, keeping her eyes closed for a long moment. I was trying to make her happy, but seemed like all I managed to do was make her sad. I seriously needed to work on that. I wanted to ask her what was the matter, but the hostess came then to lead us to our table.

Emmett was taking his job very seriously. The second James left, he was at Rose's side and he was able to nab a seat next to her at the table. James had been gone for quite some time and I looked up just in time to see him coming from the front of the restaurant, the complete opposite direction in which he ran off to. He was oddly happy and it made me wary. He had something planned and what ever it was, it didn't seem good.

"Rose, baby, you said you wanted to try out that new club, right? La Tua Cantante, you said it was. Well, we should take Edward and Emmett here, don't you think?" Rose narrowed her eyes as if she had heard this all before.

"No, James. I don't think. I'm sure Edward and-" but James cut her off.

"I think they'll like it. We're going." His tone was final, but I was sure Rose would argue. She always did. I waited for it, but it never came. My sister, the one who never settled down until she had things her way, let this creep walk all over her. It wasn't right.

I kept quiet all through dinner. I could tell that Rose wanted to talk and laugh with me, but I wasn't in the mood and I figured silence was better than half the things I did want to say. Tanya must have noticed how tense I was because before I knew what was happening I was half way to the dance floor with her.

"Tanya, I really don't-"

"When I can't stand the way he treats her, I get away. Do this for me if you won't do it for yourself." I sighed and pulled her into me as we began to move about the floor.

"She isn't the same person I knew," I said softly. Tanya nodded.

"I've known Rose a long time and she's broken. She doesn't think she is and I sure can't tell her if I want to keep my best friend, but when James came along and charmed her and…I'll say love for lack of a better word, but he loved her when she felt she was alone. She had me, but I was shy and it took me a while to come out of my shell. We didn't know each other like we do now."

"But you are here for her now. I can see it. Why would she let him get away with that? The Rose I knew would tell him to go to the damn club by himself."

"The Rose you knew lost both of her parents and her brother. I know that you were hurting over what she did to you, but when you turned her away it broke her. It may not be what you want to hear, but it's the truth."

I looked away from Tanya. It was easy to pretend that I was the only injured party, but Rosalie needed me and I turned my back on her the same way she did me and Tanya did not have any qualms over telling me. I had to look back at her when I heard her shift in tone. She had it whenever she talked about my sister's fiancé.

"As for telling his royal highness to shove off, she doesn't want him to leave her." Tanya's voice was low and dangerous sounding. "He used to frequent the hottest Seattle night spots all the time, but Rose kept getting on his back about it. He refuses to give up partying so he takes her with him. It disgusting really. He always gets 'paged' with some work emergency and leaves early with some tramp. I really wish that I could make Rosalie see what he is, but-"

I was captivated by the way Tanya spoke about my sister and James. There was hatred and disdain evident in her voice as she talked about him, but when she mentioned Rose's name, I saw something there that I hadn't recognized before. It was so subtle, but I knew it was there and I mentally kicked myself for not seeing it sooner. I had been torturing myself with the mystery of Tanya's dynamic and it was staring me in the face the whole time.

Tanya noticed my gaze and ducked her head. I didn't realize how intently I had been focusing on her, but it must have made her uncomfortable. I opened my mouth to apologize and felt lips on mine before I could register that Tanya had moved. Immediately, I pushed her away. I tried to speak, but I was so confused and Tanya pushed past me with tears in her eyes before I could gather my wits about me.

I went after her because I had to know if I was right. If I wasn't then I was sure to make the situation worse, but I could have sworn that I knew what was going on. I found Tanya on the second floor balcony, tearstained and blushing from embarrassment.

"Tanya-" I started.

"Please, just leave me be." She was trying to sound firm, but her voice broke. I sighed and walked up beside her.

"You don't want me," I said looking out over the water. I could feel her confused gaze. "I see the way you look at Rosalie. And I hear the way you talk about her. You love her a lot more than a best friend should," I said turning to her, finally.

The fear I saw in Tanya's eyes was heartbreaking. "Please," she asked in a whisper, "Don't tell her. I'm begging you. I can't lose the little piece of her I have. Please-"

"Tanya, I'm not going to tell her. I'm just confused, is all. Why did you kiss me?" Tanya opened her mouth to say something, but closed it as more tears streamed down her face. I wiped them away with my thumbs and tilted her chin up to look at her. "I won't judge you. Believe me. I'm the last person that should be judging anyone."

"It's just…You have the same eyes." She shook her head slightly as if incredulous at her own reasoning. "You look nothing alike except for your eyes. I just thought that…maybe I could love you close to the way I love her. It's stupid, I know it's stupid, but you don't know how hard it is, loving someone you can't have!"

She covered her mouth the moment she made her admission and broke down in sobs. I gathered her into my chest and stroked her hair. I had only known Tanya for a day, but I felt some sort of strange kinship with her.

"Trust me, I do know," I said sadly. She snorted and pulled away.

"So, you're in love with a straight man?" she asked seriously.

"I, uh, well, no…I, well, I'm not-" My stuttering was cut off my Tanya's giggles.

"Don't worry, Edward. I know you're not gay." I let out a relieved sigh and looked back out at the view. We stayed quiet for a few moments consumed by our own thoughts until Tanya broke me away from mine. "Tell me about her," she asked softly.

I smiled the second I thought about Bella. "She's amazing. She's kind and shy, but at the same time very personable. I can talk to her for hours and not realize that time is passing. And she's smart. God, she's so smart and talented. She only let's me see her writing because she doesn't trust anyone else, but it's exquisite. She doesn't know how truly wonderful her mind is.

"She blushes when I tell her how great her stuff is. She blushes a lot actually," I laughed. "If she gets embarrassed or angry she turns bright red. It's the most adorable thing I've ever seen. Oh, and if you do make her angry she gets this determined look on her face. She's one of the most stubborn people I know. You can't tell her to do something she doesn't want to do because it will be like pulling teeth." I sighed. "Except with me. She listen's to me and trusts me."

"So what's the problem?" I looked over at Tanya, forgetting that she was there, momentarily.

"What do you mean?"

Tanya rolled her eyes. "I mean, what's the problem? Why don't you guys give it a go? Hell, if she makes you that happy, why aren't you guys hitched?"

"Because it's impossible, that's why," I said a little harsher than I meant to and turned away. It didn't faze the woman next to me in the slightest.

"It's not impossible if you love each other-"

"Bella doesn't love me," I said cutting Tanya off. I waited for her rebuttal, but it never came and when I turned to see the shock on her face, I realized my mistake. "Oh, God…"

"The student in the rumor? You…you told Rose that was _just_ a rumor."

"It is! It is, but I…I mean, the reason…We talk all the time and we're close," I stumbled out. "We were always close and when I realized that I loved her I stopped talking to her. I hurt her so badly and I couldn't continue to do that! And some malicious twit saw something in the way I acted around her or something. I swear I would never-" Tanya's fingers on my lips stopped me from rambling on.

So many things crossed through my mind as she stared into my eyes, the most prominent being that I was going to lose my sister if she told her. I couldn't let that happen. I thought about threatening her with her own secret, but dismissed the idea as soon as it came. As much as I feared my feelings coming to light, I just couldn't use hers against her.

Tanya took her hand away after a second and then turned from me shaking her head. I was too stunned and afraid to speak or even move. I just stood frozen while she appeared to be working something out with herself. She eventually turned to me and I could see the anger and determination in her eyes. She was also sad. It seemed like her eyes were always sad though.

"You are a stupid, stupid man, do you know that?" I tried to speak, but she cut me off before I got the chance. "No. It's my turn to talk and yours to listen. Edward, she loves you! Do you even hear what you say half the time? Ah, men! I swear this is why I don't like men." Tanya threw up her hands in frustration and if I hadn't been so worried, I would have found it funny.

"A girl would not spend so much time with a guy, especially an unavailable guy, if she didn't have strong feelings for him. You said yourself that it hurt her when you shut her out. Edward, listen to someone who knows about unrequited love and take a chance. I'm in love with a straight woman. There is nothing for me there, but you…you can have her if you truly want her.

"She's eighteen years old, right?" she asked and I nodded. I still couldn't speak. "There's nothing illegal about the situation then. Highly unethical, yes, but not illegal and I swear, Edward, if you let her go because you're too damned scared to do anything, you will regret it for the rest of your life. It's not hopeless for you, Edward."

And with that, she left me alone to think over what she had said. It wasn't possible, though. Bella couldn't love me. But why couldn't Bella love me? I was a teacher, but that didn't stop me from having feelings for a student. Could it really be that she loved me too and I just didn't see it? I did hurt her. I hurt her more than I thought I would when I told her I couldn't be there anymore and looking back on our time together I could remember little things that I didn't think of at the time.

Was it possible? If it was then I could be with Bella. I smiled at the thought but then I remembered that she was, in fact, a student. I couldn't do that to her. I couldn't put her through that kind of scrutiny. But graduation was just around the corner. She was shooting for Dartmouth. Maybe I could go with her. But I couldn't do that if she didn't love me and three months of summer is not enough time for someone to fall enough to move cross country. I would scare her if I followed her.

I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder, forgetting where I was. "You okay there? I just got you back, I don't want to give you a heart attack," Rose said amusedly. I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath. "You want to tell me what you were so deep in thought over?"

I could see the hesitancy in Rose's face and I felt reprehensible. I was so worried about her reaction to me that I never thought about how scared she must have been in meeting with the brother that left her out in the cold. I pulled her into a hug and she laughed, but her own arms were tight around my waist.

"I'm so sorry, Rosalie," I whispered in her ear. "I was too proud and I hurt you in the worst way. I love you so much and I'm sorry. From the bottom of my heart, I'm so very sorry."

Rosalie was shaking her head against my chest and I knew that she wouldn't speak for fear of revealing that she was crying. I took a deep breath and held her tighter. That's when she started sobbing and I felt hot tears seep through my shirt. Rose may have been stubborn and strong willed, but I knew how to get to her still. She pulled back after a minute and wiped her eyes.

"Don't apologize to me. I was horrible to you. You were just a kid and I left because I couldn't handle the pressure. You had every right to turn me out like that."

"No," I said firmly, "I didn't. You may have hurt me, but I never should have hurt you back. I _wanted_ to hurt you, Rosalie. The things I did, I did because I wanted you to feel the same pain that I felt and look where it got us? It was stupid and immature and I will regret my actions for as long as I live."

"Stop it!" My sister's face was one of pure anguish and I mentally kicked myself for not being able to do anything right. Why was it that every woman I came in contact with ended up with tears in her eyes?

"Rosalie, please-"

"No! You please! I don't want you to ever feel like that about what you did. It may have hurt me far worse than anything I have ever endured, but I deserved it, Edward. I wanted it! Do you think I just wanted to waltz back into your life and have you forgive me right then and there? I knew that what I did was beyond contemptible and part of me was praying that you would yell at me and kick me and hit me. I wanted you to hurt me!"

I stood in shock as Rosalie crumpled to the ground with broken sobs. I closed my eyes to push down my emotions and kneeled down to gather my sister in my arms.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry," she cried out as I stroked her hair and shushed her. "I didn't know how bad it would hurt. And now I do and I'm so sorry. I hate myself for what I did to you."

"Rosalie, no. I don't hate you and you shouldn't hate yourself. Both of us made some pretty terrible mistakes, but we're here now and trying to fix it, right?" I felt her nod against my chest. "Alright. Let's go home and then we can talk about everything."

Rosalie looked up at me then and I could see that it was taking every fiber of her being to hold herself together. We walked back downstairs together and the tension in the air was palpable. Everyone at the table knew that something had happened, but they were all strangely silent. Even James, who I expected would say something out of turn, was smart enough to keep his mouth shut.

When we got back to Rose's place, Tanya and Emmett went down to the lounge and James disappeared somewhere. Rose and I sat next to each other, both of us trying to think of something to say. Neither one of us wanted to have that talk, but it was necessary. The kind of pain we inflicted on each other ran deep and there was no way that we were going to heal from it if we didn't address it.

We started slow. It took a while to get everything out in the open about our past, but we did it because we had to if we wanted to salvage our relationship. For hours, we talked and yelled, cried and apologized. It brought up a lot of old feelings and hurtful memories, but we got through it and because of that we were stronger than ever.

I gave Rose a tight hug before heading off to bed and with everything that happened and the long day that we had had, I was able to fall into a heavy sleep within seconds of my head hitting the pillow.

Rose had the next day off so she took us to some of the hottest tourist locations around the city. James was also supposed to be off, but was missing for a good portion of the day. I didn't mind though and by the look on Rose's face when she was with Emmett, she didn't mind too much either.

I told Tanya about Emmett's attraction to Rose and she was all for getting her away from her creep of a fiancé. We spent the majority of our time in couples. Tanya would pull me off to the side or I would her. It was actually kind of funny when Rose dragged Emmett off because she wanted to give Tanya and me some alone time.

It was great having someone to talk to that somewhat understood what I was going through. Tanya and I never did talk any more about our love lives, but we had an unspoken bond that made it easier to be around each other. It was just comfortable. However, when Emmett wasn't hanging on Rose's every word he was trying to figure me out.

I had to laugh to myself. I was perfectly fine with him thinking there was something going on between Tanya and me. It got him off my case about Bella and it gave Tanya an out if she was receiving unwanted male attention. Tanya was rather beautiful. I don't know how many times I had to step in when some jerk stalked after her like a dog with a piece of meat.

I had to groan later that night when I saw what the girls were wearing to the club. It was going to be an interesting evening trying to keep away the groping drunks.

We got to the club at around nine and found a table on the second floor. The place was decent. It played hip-hop like every club, but the drinks weren't bad and being on the upper floor meant less weirdoes to worry about. Everyone was having a great time until James' pager went off. Rose asked to speak with him privately then.

It was a few minutes before she came back to the table looking upset and having already talked to Tanya I knew that James must have left early, yet again. I looked at Emmett and nodded my head quickly to the dance floor. He got the hint and pulled Rose away despite her many attempts to say no. I was going to do the same to Tanya when I noticed her making eyes at beautiful woman in the next booth.

I smiled to myself. The woman didn't look much like Rose. She had the same height and build, but with rich mahogany hair and what looked like violet eyes. I had never seen that eye color before, but it was stunning. She was gorgeous and although her features differed from my sister's, the woman in the next booth gave off that same confident air that Rosalie did.

I turned to Tanya and pinched her side, smiling. She glared at me. "Go ask her to dance," I yelled over the music.

Tanya looked at me scared, but I wasn't having any of that. I pulled her up and pushed her in the direction of the table. She glared back at me, but kept going and after a few seconds of talking with the woman, they both made their way down to the dance floor. I was thrilled for Tanya, but that also left me with out a date.

I leaned my elbows on the railing and observed the goers of Seattle nightlife. Clubbing really wasn't my thing, but it was a fun night more or less. I was about to sit back at the table when James caught my eye. I knew that he was most likely going home with some bimbo, but it seems like he should have been gone already. Instead, he just stood there staring at something and holding a drink that he wasn't sipping from. There was something in his other hand too, but I couldn't make out what it was.

I had a really bad feeling about James from the get go, but it was even more intense now. I took my eyes off of him reluctantly to see what he was staring at and my heart sank into my stomach. This couldn't be possible. But it was. There, standing at the bar was Bella in the most striking dress I had ever seen. And it was far too revealing. The dress hugged her curves exquisitely with the smooth skin of her back being completely bare; the only thing keeping it secret was her hair falling in loose curls behind her.

I moved my eyes back to James, but he was gone. Franticly, I scanned the floor and saw him moving toward Bella as if she were his prey. This was not good at all. I looked back at Bella to see her accepting a drink from the bartender and I was praying that she would walk in the opposite direction, but she moved straight to James. I screamed her name, but nothing could be heard over the damn music.

It would be okay. Bella was a smart girl and I would keep an eye on her from here, I told myself. But the sickening feeling in my stomach just got worse and then I saw her collide with him. The drink that James had no intention of tasting ended up on Bella's dress and the object in his other hand I realized was a vial when he poured its content's in Bella's glass while she was distracted. I screamed louder for Bella to hear me, but she took a sip of her drink and waved to someone dancing.

I pulled out my phone and dialed 911. Why was it taking so long? I rushed to the stairs all the while trying to keep my eyes on Bella. She wiped at her dress a bit and then put her hand to her head shaking it slightly. I screamed again as the operator came on the line, but Bella still didn't hear me and she walked away in the direction James had gone. Damn it! Why was she going over there?

I finally got to the bottom of the stairs, but I had lost Bella. I knew where she went, but that didn't help if he already had her. I pushed my through the crowded dance floor, telling the man on the line what I saw. He said that the police were on their way, but I didn't have time to wait. I pushed harder though the sea of bodies.

I got through eventually, but too much time had passed. I looked around the hallway that housed the bathrooms, but there was no sign of them. I was freaking out. If he did anything to Bella I would kill him. He would not live to see another day.

I was about to turn back to the main floor when I saw a faded emergency exit sign hanging above one of the doors. I pushed though and nearly died at what I saw. James had Bella against the wall stroking her face and I could barely make out her whispered no's. Within a second I had James off of Bella and she fell hard to the ground. I wanted to go to her, but I couldn't let James get away.

It was a struggle to keep him restrained. Not only was I fighting the man himself, but I was fighting with my head which was telling me to kill the son of a bitch.

"Come now, Edward. I'll share if that's what you want," James grunted. He was not helping my resolve. I closed my eyes trying to calm myself. Never in my life had I strained so hard to maintain my self-control.

Bella let out a small choking noise that almost sounded like she was trying to scream and I made the mistake of diverting my attention. James pulled out of my grip and slammed my forehead into the brick wall of the club more than once.

The smart thing for him to have done when I crumpled to the pavement would have been to run away, but James was sick and he didn't give up his fight.

"Well, you had your chance. Say goodbye to her, Edward," I heard him say.

I opened my blurring eyes to see James stalking toward Bella and I fought my dizziness to get up. I was not going to let him hurt her. As soon as I got my bearings I launched myself at James and sent us both hurtling to the ground.

"You will never touch her," I growled in his ear. He just laughed and thrashed around trying to get free, but I wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

It took everything I had to keep him confined until the police arrived, but I did. They apprehended him then and tried to ask me questions, but my head was in too much of a fog. I waved off the officer and crawled to where Bella was being checked out by the paramedics. She looked so pale.

I stood as they loaded her onto the stretcher and swayed on my feet. Someone in a uniform tried to get me to go with them, but I wouldn't leave Bella. I _couldn't _leave her until I knew she was okay. I climbed into the ambulance after her and felt someone holding my shoulder. My head was swimming, but I got a hold of myself and looked at the woman trying to speak to me.

"You need medical attention, may I check you out?" she asked. I shook my head.

"Bella. Check Bella."

"I can't do anything for Bella right now. Her heart rate is steady and she's breathing, but you have a nasty head wound and you look like might have a concussion."

I wanted to argue with her, but my head was throbbing too much to do anything and I gave her permission as I pulled out my phone. I had eleven missed calls and three voicemail. I dialed Emmett and he answered on the second ring

"Dude, where the fuck are you? There's police everywhere." I cringed at how loud his voice was.

"I know. James…" I let out a low hiss as the paramedic cleaned my cut. "James attacked Bella." Emmett was silent for a minute.

"What do you mean 'James attacked Bella?'" he asked slowly.

"I mean, I'm on my way to the hospital with Bella. You need to find Alice. I'm sure she's there if Bella was. Jasper's probably with her. Make sure they know what happened. Take care of Rose for me."

"Yeah, call me when you have an update on Bella," he said dazed.

I hung up with Emmett just as the woman bandaging me was finishing. I finally had a little more wits about me by then, but my head was still pounding.

"Alright, I've patched you up, but you should still have a doctor look at-" I shook my head cutting her off.

"No, I'm staying with Bella," I said without taking my eyes off of her limp form.

"I'm sorry, sir, but you can't go with her unless you're a spouse or-"

"Yes," I said without hesitation. I didn't care about lying as long as I could stay with her. "I'm her husband." The woman seemed skeptical, but didn't say anything and I was grateful. I needed to be with Bella or I didn't think I could keep it together.

We got to the hospital and she filled in the doctors about Bella's and my injuries and my supposed relationship with her. I didn't have to say anything. They tried once to get me into another room, but one glare told them I wasn't going anywhere.

They linked Bella up to heart monitors as they stripped her and put her into a hospital gown. I just stood in the corner as they worked, drawing blood, hooking her up to IVs, cleaning her face of make-up. When I thought that everything was done, I moved to sit in a chair next to Bella's bad and I held her hand. I wanted to say something to her, but I couldn't get my voice to work.

I just stayed there, silent, praying. My other hand unconsciously moved to her hair and stroked it away from her face. She was so beautiful even broken. I just stared at her. It may have only been minutes or it could have been hours and then a female doctor walked in the door and introduced herself. I didn't really care what her name was though. I wasn't really listening to her until I realized she wanted me to leave.

"What?" I asked, confused. She looked upon me with sympathy and repeated herself.

"Due to the circumstances in which your wife was brought in, I need to administer a rape kit." I pulled in a rough breath of air at that.

"No," I said angrily, although I was more scared than anything else. "I got there in time. He didn't do anything to her. He didn't. I didn't let him hurt her." I knew that there was no way to be sure how far James had gotten, but I had to believe that I got there in time. I had to.

"I sure you're right," the doctor said, but I could see the pity in her eyes. "This is just standard procedure." I nodded my head, but didn't move. The doctor sighed. "What's your name?"

"Edward," I said without looking away from Bella.

"Edward, I know you don't want to leave her, but this is something that should be done privately."

I looked up at her then and knew that she was right. It was wrong to want to stay with Bella for that. I got up and went for a walk. I had to call Emmett and explain things and I needed fresh air to do that. When I got outside I turned my phone on and dialed Emmett, but a high panicky voice answered instead.

"Mr. Cullen, what happened? Is Bella okay? I knew I shouldn't have left her, I knew it! Please tell me she's alright, please!" I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath before answering. Alice was still freaking out at a million words per minute.

"Alice, I don't know. I don't know anything. Can you hand the phone to Emmett?" I heard a distant sob over the line and then Emmett's deep voice.

"What's going on, Edward?" I had never heard Emmett sound so solemn before.

"They're doing a rape kit on her right now. But he didn't get that far, Emmett. I didn't let him. I swear he didn't get that far."

"I know, man. I know." I could tell by Emmett's tone that he knew I was trying to convince myself as well as him. "What exactly happened, Edward?"

I took a shaky breath and told him everything. He stayed quiet through all of it, but I could tell he was fuming. We said our goodbyes and he promised that he was taking good care of Rose. I felt terrible for not asking about her, but I had so much running through my mind and my head was killing me.

I walked back into the hospital and saw a couple of badges at the front desk just before the woman behind it pointed at me. I again had to retell the story, but was thankful that they didn't address my being Bella's husband. Lying to get into a hospital room was one thing, but I couldn't afford the legal trouble lying to the cops would buy me.

It took an hour of tedious and repetitive questions until they were finally satisfied that I was telling the truth. I got back into the room as the doctor was checking Bella's vitals. I wanted to ask, but I was too afraid. She realized at once what I wanted and smiled.

"You were in time," she said before walking out the door.

As soon as she was clear, I fell to the ground and let my emotions take me. I wanted to believe that I was there soon enough, but I didn't. Not really. Sobs wracked though my body as I tried to figure out how I would have handled being the one to let Bella get hurt, but thank God, I didn't have to. And I did thank God. I thanked him with everything I had for letting me save the woman I loved.

Slowly I quieted down and wiped away my tears. I walked back to my chair and watched Bella as she slept. I always knew that I would never be able to live without her, but the events of the night cleared up any doubt I had. I loved Bella and when the time came, I would make her mine.

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**A/N: To explain a few things: Yes, Bella is a virgin, and yes, the doctor would have noticed Bella's hymen were it still intact; the hymen can be broken for a number of reasons outside of sex (horseback/bike riding, falling a lot, masturbating), and Bella's is well past it's limit. Thanks a million for reading!**


	9. Changing Perspective

**Updated A/N: I realized after the fact that this chapter is not as necessary as I had once thought. I still love the EmPOV, as do a lot of you, but when the story is complete, I will be moving this chapter over to Outtakes.**

**A/N: Thank you for all the well wishes and reviews! My bones were actually not healing at all so the doc has me electrocuting myself to recovery. Sounds weird, I know. **

**I'm thrilled that you love Tanya! Didn't I say? YES! Did you trust me? NO! Did we learn from our mistake? LOL. I'm just messing with you guys ^_^. A few of you thought that it was luck that Edward was at the same club, but if you remember, James was coming from outside when he came back to the table. He overheard the girls talking about the club they were going to and decided to join them.**

**This Chapter is dedicated to MuffNbutter for being my injured hand buddy! Get better soon :-)**

_**Disclaimer****:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

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~*~Changing Perspective~*~

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**Emmett**

I had never met a woman like Rosalie Cullen. She was strong and soft at the same time, confident and vulnerable, cocky and sincere. And she was hot. That woman was sexy as all hell. Even in sweats, she had my blood pumping. She was definitely my kind of woman.

When I met her, I wanted her. I just knew I had to have her and when Edward told me to stay away I had to suppress the urge to fight for her. I wanted to kill him for putting me in the same damn position he felt with Bella. What he had going on was wrong, but the stupid SOB made me see his side of it without even trying. Rosalie was his sister, I was his best friend, and she was off limits. God, did I want to kill him, but I knew he was right.

And then we met the jackass fiancé. I didn't like him from the beginning, but I figured it was just because I wanted his girl. One look at Edward and I knew otherwise. Edward was always a good judge of character and that guy was a creep. So, here I was dancing with Rosalie's perfect body pressed firmly against mine. Strange how you can go from wanting to kill someone to wanting to hug them. Edward always had a way of bringing out the bipolar in me.

When he told me to go for it with Rose, I could barely hide my enthusiasm. Of course I would never let him see it, but inside my head I was jumping up and down like a five-year old on a sugar high. I didn't know what exactly it was with that gorgeous woman, but Rose drew me in like no one ever had before. I had never wanted anyone so badly, but there was still the problem of her idiot fiancé.

I knew she could feel something with me too, it was written all over her face. And when she was with me she forgot all about the dirt bag. Either that or she just didn't care that she was pressing her ass against my giant hard on and if it weren't for the clothes we would have been having sex right there on the dance floor. I wanted to beat the person that pulled my attention away from the vixen grinding herself against me even if it was Tanya. Then I saw her face.

"What's wrong? Where's Edward?" Rose stopped then, coming out of our bubble and Tanya shook her head trying to hold back the tears I could see forming.

"I don't know," she yelled over the music. "I went back to the table, but he wasn't there and…" she trailed off and looked in the direction of the front of the club.

There were cops running from the front door to the bathrooms with guns drawn. Something bad was happening, that much I knew and after a minute the lights came up and the music shut off. I pulled out my phone to call Edward, but he didn't answer. I cursed under my breath and called again with still no answer. The girls both pulled out their phones too, but none of us were getting through. I left him a voicemail after the fourth try and tried to calm myself down. If he wasn't dying or dead I was going to kill him.

There was someone trying to speak over all of the crying and gossiping going on and I made something out about the police needing to ask a few questions, but I was still too busy looking for Edward. Finally, my phone rang and as relieved as I felt, I was just as angry. I loved that man like a brother and he scared the shit out of me.

"Dude, where the fuck are you? There's police everywhere."

"I know. James…" He paused for a moment and I could here sirens coming from the background. "James attacked Bella."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It didn't make any sense. "What do you mean 'James attacked Bella?'" I asked slowly and quietly so as not to alert Rose.

"I mean, I'm on my way to the hospital with Bella. You need to find Alice. I'm sure she's there if Bella was. Jasper's probably with her. Make sure they know what happened. Take care of Rose for me."

My mind was spinning out of control. I told him to call me when he had any more news and then turned to the girls. What was I going to tell them? I wanted Rose, but not like this and I just couldn't bring myself to tell her yet.

I spotted Alice immediately standing on top of a table looking frantic. I made my way over and gestured for Rose and Tanya to follow. Alice saw me approach and I knew she could tell by the look on my face that I had bad news. Jasper helped her down and she looked at me expectantly. I tried to speak, but I just couldn't get the right words to form.

"Come on, you two. I'm taking you back to Rose's." Rose stopped me when I turned and I could see the concern and questions in her eyes. I silently pleaded with her to just let me handle things for now and, thankfully, she understood.

The police weren't requiring anyone to stay, so we took off. Tanya drove Jasper's car so that he could keep Alice calm and I took Rose in my Jeep. It wasn't a minute since we climbed in the car that Rose demanded to know what was happening. I didn't want to tell her, but she had a right to know, so I took one last deep breath and told her exactly what Edward told me.

"No. You're lying. He's lying," she said. It was strange. The words defended the douche, but there was no hint of sincerity. It was as if she already knew.

"I'm not lying, Rosalie. And do you really think that Edward would make something like this up?" When she didn't answer me, I looked over at her. I expected her to yell, scream, cry, but she just sat there like I hadn't said anything at all.

I wanted to say something, to comfort her, but nothing I could do or say would have made any difference in the world. So, I just let her be and when we got to her place and she locked herself in her office, I sat on the couch and put my head in my hands. My first vacation in six months and this is how it turns out. Life was seriously fucked up. And it didn't get much better when Alice rushed through the door talking faster than I could listen.

"Alice, sweetie, why don't you calm down and have a cup of tea?" Tanya asked when she saw how anxious I was getting.

Man, that chick was a Godsend. It seemed like she really hit it off with Edward and I felt bad for her that his heart was in too deep with someone else. It was a bad situation, but I couldn't really focus on it at that moment. Tanya and Jasper had finally gotten Alice to relax a little and it was time to share my knowledge.

At least Alice did what I expected. She cried and then she screamed about it being all her fault until she fell to the ground in a heap. I couldn't take it. The not knowing was killing me and I hated seeing everyone fall apart. Before anyone could say a word, I was on the balcony trying to balance my nerves.

Bella was a good kid. She didn't deserve the crap that happened to her and, yet, she could find trouble in care bear land if it were remotely possible. The girl was a danger magnet if I ever saw one and I just hoped that whatever happened tonight wasn't as bad as my mind was trying to make me believe.

I didn't know how long I stayed out in the cold night air. I lost all track of time until Alice's constant high pitched questions brought me out of my daze. I was inside again just as Alice fell into Jasper's arms and Tanya handed me the phone.

"What's going on, Edward?" I asked.

"They're doing a rape kit on her right now," Edward told me as calmly as he could.

Rape kit. They were doing a rape kit and I could barely keep it together as Edward tried to convince himself that it was all unnecessary. I just wanted to hit something, but Edward needed me to reassure him and that's exactly what I did.

"I know, man. I know," I said, still seething, but more worried over how Edward was handling everything. I might not have approved of his feelings for Bella, but he loved her and I couldn't begin to imagine the pain he was in.

I asked him what happened at the club and he filled me in on the dirty details. The more I listened, the sicker I got. It was a good thing that bastard wasn't anywhere near me or he would have been dead before he knew what hit him. I had never been more infuriated in my entire life. When I hung up the phone I slammed my hand down on the counter and regretted it immediately. Everyone in the room froze and looked at me expectantly.

"There's no news yet," I said softly.

I didn't want to worry Alice if it wasn't necessary, so I told her a vague version of the story I was told and walked back out onto the balcony. Everything was so _fucked up_! Bella was in the hospital; Edward was there with her, alone; Alice was crying in the living room; Rose hadn't come out of her office since we arrived. We were just supposed to meet Edward's sister and have fun in the city, but the whole weekend felt like a bad episode of The OC or something.

I shook my head, then, because never in my life had I ever thought I would relate myself in any way to teen soap. I definitely needed to stop listening to high school gossip.

"Emmett," Tanya's nervous voice pulled be back down to earth, "Rose just left."

I didn't stay to ask why. I didn't know where Rosalie was going or what she thought she was doing, but I knew that she shouldn't be alone and I let out the breath I was holding when I saw her still waiting for the elevator, briefcase in hand.

"What are you doing here, Emmett?" She stayed turned toward the doors as she spoke.

"Taking you where you need to go. What are _you_ doing?"

She sighed and closed her eyes before answering me, her voice tense. "I'm going to the police station."

"Are you kidding me? After everything he did you're just going to-"

"You can take me if you want or I can drive myself. Either way, I'm going." I wanted to argue with her, shake her, something, but I knew that if I did, she would just shut down on me and I needed to try and talk her out of it.

I remained quite for most of the trip. I was angry and I didn't want to say anything that I would regret. Seriously, how could she even think about trying to help that lowlife? I didn't know what to do. I had to stop Rosalie from making the biggest, stupidest mistake she could possibly make, but I didn't know how to do that without the risk of pushing her toward the shithead.

"Make a right, here," she said softly. I took a deep breath. It was now or never.

"Rosalie, I need you to listen to me." She closed her eyes and sighed. "Your…James is sick. He's a sick man and this kind of help is not the kind he needs."

Rose opened her eyes then and glared at me. "I know exactly what kind of man he is, Emmett. I know better that you could possibly imagine. Now, please just give me a few moments of peace and quiet. Turn left at the next light and the station will be a few blocks down."

With that she closed her eyes again and I slammed my hand on the steering wheel. I really liked her, but she was a complete idiot for trying to protect that creep.

"Rosalie," I said as we pulled into the parking lot of the police station, "You cannot seriously think that he is worth your time, can you? And what about Edward? He's at the hospital right now with-" I was cut off by her door slamming shut.

I let out a strong grunt before getting out and following after her. I was seriously one step away from just throwing her over my shoulder and taking her back to her apartment by brute force. But the damn woman was a lawyer and I knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't hesitate in slapping me with a few charges to teach me a lesson.

When I walked through the door, I saw Rosalie opening her briefcase on someone's desk and taking out folders. I opened my mouth to try one more time, but she gave me a murderous look that told me to shut my trap, so I did. I normally wasn't scared of chicks -or anyone really-, but Rosalie scared the shit out of me.

"Alright, Cullen, I'm here. You better have one damn good excuse for making me come down here at one in the morning." Rose broke our eye contact then and looked to the skinny suit that was speaking to her.

"Oh, you want to hear have to say, Demetri. I have a lead on you're serial rapes and homicides and enough evidence to put him away if you want it." The other attorney and I both look at Rose in shock as she handed over the files she had.

"How the hell?" Demetri asked in awe as he opened up the top folder.

"James Thurston's real name is James Vasiliev. He's also gone by Rowley, Stover, Archibald, Hurst, Benton and he's in holding right now for the attempted rape of Isabella Swan on top of several other charges. I have dates for every club we were at and the times he left. You'll notice that they correlate with the rape times and locations. You can choose to try him or send him to one of the other states he's wanted in, it's up to you. And he's a flight risk, so make sure he doesn't get bail."

No one spoke after Rosalie was done, still trying to process everything that was going on. I was wrong. Of course I was wrong! Rose never wanted to help the bastard, but put him away for good. I looked at her then and sighed quickly through my nose. There was no emotion on her face, but I could tell that she was hurting. She thought that she loved him and maybe part of her really did, but he messed with the wrong blonde when he messed with Rosalie.

"Rose, I…" It looked like the suit didn't know what to say either. "How…You could get disbarred for this," he finally said in a harsh whisper.

"No, Demetri, I can't. James and I were never each other's lawyers. This is me using my influence to put my ex-fiancé behind bars. Nothing illegal about using a few contacts. Now, I'm tired and if there's anything you need, you know my number."

Rosalie shut her briefcase with an audible snap and started to walk to the exit still wearing her carefully blank face. I wanted to comfort her. I didn't know if I would be helping or making things worse, but I threw caution to the wind and decided to wrap my arm around her. At least I tried to. The second I made my decision, I heard the infuriating voice of the psycho I wanted to pummel.

"Rose, baby, I knew you'd come for me. Call Donovan and he should be able to move up my arraignment. I should be out by Monday," he said with a smirk.

I don't know what I expected to see on Rosalie's face when I looked at her, but it wasn't the sweet smile that I was there. Slowly and ever so sexily, she sauntered over to James and stood a mere foot away, still smiling.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie. You see, I really don't think you're going to be going anywhere for a very long time." James' smile faltered only slightly as he looked on Rose in question. She laughed. "Mm, I had a couple files on you, sweetheart. Unfortunately, the DA has them now."

"You Bitch!" James screamed, face contorting in anger.

He lunged at Rose, but she didn't move an inch as his guards held him in place with his hands still cuffed behind his back. I had to clench my own hands to keep from attacking the sick bastard. Apparently, Rose didn't have the same qualms I had given that her fist connected with James' mouth, sending him to the ground, before anyone could stop her.

"I may be a bitch, but that is the last time you will ever speak to me like that." With that, she turned on her heel and left the station.

I was amazed at how strong the woman walking beside me actually was. Any other chick would have been in tears, but not Rosalie. Other chicks got sad or mad; Rosalie got revenge. I was having a very difficult time concentrating on driving back to her place with the little problem rising in my pants, but it was neither the time nor place. I needed a distraction, but I knew that Rose needed time to think or something so I just kept my mouth shut.

The apartment was empty when we got there and Rosalie headed to her room the second we got through the door. I was about to turn in myself, but I noticed her stop in the doorway and grip the doorjamb. As I stepped closer to her, I saw that she was shaking pretty badly.

"Rosalie?" She turned to me and in that moment I saw everything she had been holding inside. There was fear, anguish, sadness, panic, apprehension, everything imaginable that someone could feel in such a situation was written across her face.

"I…I can't…please, don't…don't leave me alone," she begged and I had her in my arms before she could finish.

I carried her over to the guest bedroom and let her cry in my arms until hours later she fell asleep under the rising sun. That's when I realized I was in love with Rosalie Cullen and I would never let her hurt that way again.

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**A/N: So, good with the EmPOV or no? Before you freak out, Rose did not know James was a psycho. More will be explained next chapter, I promise. Thanks for reading!**


	10. Together

**A/N: There was a lot of great feedback in the last chapter. I always love your guys' reviews.**

_**Disclaimer****:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

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~*~Together~*~

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**Bella**

I could hear noises that I didn't recognize. A beeping sound and an odd kind of quiet that wasn't really quiet at all. Eventually, I was able to open my eyes to a white sterile room that I knew all too well. I was in the hospital. My head was groggy. I tried to remember what happened, but everything was so confused.

I tried to move my left hand, but a heavy weight was trapping my arm. Slowly, because slow was all I could handle, I turned to see what the problem was and when I did the beeping sound came faster. Edward was there with me, holding my hand and sleeping on my arm. Why was he here? What happened to me? I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and the beeping that had been steadily increasing began to ease.

I opened my eyes again and saw him still, almost convinced that I was dreaming. I had never seen Edward sleep before and it was an amazing sight. He was so peaceful and innocent looking. He looked younger, too. I smiled at his quiet form and stiffly lifted my other arm over me to brush my hand through his brilliant bronze hair.

I didn't know how many times I had fancied being able to do that very thing, but I had never been given the chance before. A little voice in my head told me that I shouldn't have even been doing it then, but I ignored it and continued comforting a sleeping Edward. I didn't know how or why he was with me in the hospital, but it didn't matter. The rest of the world faded away whenever I was with him.

But sooner or later it always came back and I looked up after only a minute to see a nurse standing in the doorway, smiling at the scene before her. I returned the gesture sheepishly and dropped my hand from Edward's hair to rest on my stomach. I didn't want to, but I had already endangered him enough. I didn't feel like adding more witnesses to the so-called scandal.

"How are you feeling, Mrs. Swan?" Tired, I said inside my head. Exhaustion was hitting me hard and even though I had just woken up, I felt like I still needed about twelve more hours of sleep.

"I'm…" My throat was dry and scratchy, but I swallowed and continued on. "I'm fine I think. What happened?"

"You were admitted last night after an attack. You're lucky your husband saw what was happening. You came away with nothing more than a couple of bruises, but it could have been a lot worse." I closed my eyes for a moment to digest what she had said and then looked over to the still unconscious man at my bedside.

"Edward," I breathed in thanks, brushing my hand through is hair once more without thinking.

"He hasn't left your side. And we've tried, believe me," she laughed quietly. "You've got something special in this one, honey."

I only smiled and continued to memorize Edward's beautiful dreaming face as the nurse went about her job. I knew I shouldn't have, but my hand began tracing his hairline and landed at the bandage that was stained slightly with dried blood. Whatever happened at the club, Edward had gotten hurt because of it. He'd gotten hurt saving me, and my heart both swelled and panged at the knowledge.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek and was thankful that the nurse was no longer in the room to witness it. There was so much confusion both in my head and heart that I didn't even try to stop the second from making its way down the side of my face, followed closely by many more.

I couldn't remember anything concrete about the night before. There were flashes of dancing and laughing with Alice, but it was all too hazy to decipher. I knew that something bad had happened because I could feel it in my bones, but I couldn't actually remember anything.

As it was, whatever might have happened didn't because Edward was there. Edward was there and pretending to be my husband. Again, I silently questioned what on earth was going on. I knew that I should have felt scared by the hole in my memory, but I couldn't feel anything but calm with Edward by my side. And as that calm took me and my questions moved to the back of my mind, my heavy eyelids drooped shut and I was oblivious to the outside world.

I would have loved a dreamless sleep or even a full out nightmare, but my unconscious thoughts were plagued with partial images and bad feelings. I could feel myself trying to move and not being able to, like my entire body was weighed down. Even my voice wouldn't work, but I knew somehow in the dream that I needed to scream. Why couldn't I scream?

I could hear someone calling me in the distance and I struggled to find him. I didn't know where I was or what was happening, but I knew that if I could just reach that voice then everything would be all right. With all the strength I had, I fought to find the man that would bring me solace and as the darkness faded, I remembered who he was.

I came out of sleep quickly at that point, opening my eyes to a brilliant light and shutting them just as soon. I realized that it was hard to breath as my mind cleared. I was taking short, shallow breaths in my panic, but they were beginning to settle as Edward spoke to me.

"Shh, Bella, you're safe." To anyone else, Edward's voice would have sounded calm and collected, but all I could hear was how worried and anxious he was. I was doing that to him.

I reopened my eyes only slightly to let myself get used to the intensity of the daylight now flooding the room and directed my gaze into the troubled green stare of the man who saved me. He was trying to hide his feelings from me, but he was doing a poor job of it. I almost wanted to laugh at how much Edward loved to protect me from things. Unfortunately, the amusement was second to a swarm of other emotions, the majority of them the exact opposite of laughter, and the floodgates opened instead.

I didn't want to cry. Hell, I didn't know _why_ I was crying, not really. I couldn't remember anything, so it seemed ridiculous to be so emotional over something I couldn't even recall. But the more I tried to control myself, the louder and harsher the sobs got. I barely registered that Edward's arms wrapping me in a comforting embrace was not something he should have been doing. I was too focused on trying to pull myself together and clinging to him as if my life depended on it.

How was he always there when I needed him? I felt like God had put him on the earth solely for me and, yet, it was wrong for us to be together. Why? Why was everything so messed up? And then with all of the weight on my shoulders and the sudden release of crying in Edward's arms, I let my emotions take me farther into confusion.

Before I had come to Seattle, I was sure that Edward loved me at least in some small comparison to my own love for him, but then I saw him with that woman. He brushed her cheek the same way he had done with me only days before. Was I reading more into it than was there? But, no, he was in my hospital room, scared for me, holding me, pretending to be my God forsaken husband. I saw the feelings in his eyes, so why was he with that woman?

I had run before the scenario could be played out and I hated myself for it. It could have been nothing. She could have been just a very good friend, but I had run and gotten cornered by some creep. I honestly didn't know what would have happened if Jasper hadn't shown up. James was what he said his name was and his eyes were cold and calculating. His eyes. Oh, God.

My crying had started to calm slightly, but with that last thought a flash of the same steel grey eyes flooded my memory and I started hyperventilating. It was him. It was the same man and he had me up against a wall. His lips were moving as if he was talking to me, but I couldn't comprehend what he was saying. I remembered feeling like I wasn't inside my body, like I was floating. I remembered James kissing me and needing to get away, but I didn't have any strength to move.

"Bella, listen to me," Edward's voice broke through my hysteria. "Deep breaths. Someone, we need help in here!" he yelled out to the hall and then refocused on me. "You're okay. I won't let anyone hurt you."

Doctors came in at some point and tried to remove Edward, but he stayed put, whispering words of comfort to slow my breathing. My eyes stayed locked with his as the doctors did whatever they were doing and after a while, Edward stopped using words altogether and just calmed me with his stare. I was safe. I was always safe with him nearby.

"Isabella, I need to ask you a few questions," I heard a soft, authoritative voice say. I turned my head to see a middle-aged man in a lab coat and tie, apparently my doctor for the next eight or so hours. "Are you experiencing any dizziness or nausea?"

I shook my head on both accounts and the doctor proceeded with his examination, explaining what had happened to me and why I was in the hospital. I was dosed at the club with Gamma Hydroxybutyrate or GHB as it's known to the rest of the world. It was a good sign that I hadn't gotten ill from the drug, but the memory loss, although common, was still a concern.

There was a chance that I would never remember what happened fully, but if I did, there would most likely be more attacks like the one I had just gone through. On top of the mental trauma, I had bruises on my arms, shoulders and neck and my muscles would continue to be sore for a few days, but all in all, the doctor released me with a clean bill of health.

"Just take some Vicodin for the aches and pains and you'll be better in no time. But, Isabella, just because you're okay physically doesn't mean that you aren't suffering emotionally. I would recommend seeing a psychologist to talk through what happened last night."

I wanted to tell him that I would be fine, but before I could say a word, Edward had assured the doctor that he would see me to a therapist. He then shook the doctor's hand and turned back to meet my glare.

"Don't look at me like that. You need to talk to someone," he said, not fazed by my anger.

"I am perfectly-"

"You were tossing and turning in your sleep," he cut me off. "Then you woke up panicking, which turned into crying and then you started hyperventilating. You are not fine, so don't pretend to be," he finished with a stern glower.

I opened my mouth to argue, but I couldn't. The look in Edward's eyes had me speechless. He wasn't upset with me, but I could tell he was going to make sure that I took care of myself despite my stubbornness and I really didn't know what to say to that. If it had been any other person, I would have put up a fight, but I wanted to listen to Edward, to let him care for me.

"Fine," I replied through clenched teeth. Just because I decided to give in didn't mean I had to like it.

I saw the corner of Edward's mouth twitch in what was most likely amusement of my attitude, but other than that, his face was still serious as he reclaimed his seat next to my bed. He took a deep breath before talking to me in a softer tone, his eyes never straying from mine.

"I want… I _need_ you to do this for me, Bella. You're not okay, no matter how much you think you are. I don't want you to be afraid of going to sleep at night because of nightmares you might have." He closed his eyes and took a heavy breath before continuing. "I don't think I could bear it if you didn't come back from something like this."

"You're making a bigger deal of it than it needs to be, Edward. I know you think I'm some mental mess of a person right now, but I'm not." Edward opened his eyes then and they were more intense than I had ever seen them.

"Don't. Don't play this up like it's nothing. Some creep put drugs in your drink. He took you into an alley and held you against a wall with the intent to rape you." I flinched at Edward's words, but he didn't stop. "Do you know what would have happened if I wasn't there?"

"But you were there," I said a little louder than necessary. "You were there and nothing happened! You didn't let anything happen to me!"

"But something did happen, Bella! He may not have gotten as far as he wanted, but he still tried. That does something to a person whether you want it to or not. I refuse to stand by and watch you drown in horrible memories of some jerk who thought it would be fun to use you like a toy!"

Emotions ran through me at the speed of bullets and I didn't know how to make sense of them. Edward had never yelled at me before and it made me see how scared he was underneath his carefully placed mask. His words evoked my own fear and the realization of how truly terrified I was by the situation was like a knife twisting in my gut along with everything else. I couldn't have stopped the tears then if my life had depended on it. But even through my blurry vision I could make out the pain in Edward's features.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't…" I noticed his voice break slightly, even though he tried to hide it. "I shouldn't have raised my voice at you like that. I just… Bella, I care too much about you to let you hurt yourself by thinking that you don't need help. Just…" He paused, pinching the bridge of his nose before taking up my hand and steering his gaze directly into my eyes.

"It's just talking to someone. That's all. Once a week, you go in and have an hour long chat with some guy or girl and all's well with the world. Can you please do this for me?"

"I already said I would go, didn't I?" I huffed with narrowed eyes. Unfortunately, my glare's power was undermined by my pout and wet eyes causing Edward to smile. "You don't have to look so happy about my forced surrender, you know. It's not very polite," I sniffed. Edward only grinned wider.

"I do apologize. How very ungentlemanly of me. Please accept my sincerest regret for finding pleasure in your forfeiture," he said in the most eloquent manner and with a small bow of his head.

I pulled my hand from his, folding my arms across my chest, and looked away with a pointed "humph" at his mockery. But even with my overdramatic reaction to his joking, I couldn't stop the smile trying to break through my scowl. I never could be upset with him when he acted like such a complete dork.

"Now that's what I like to see," he said softly, all teasing gone from his deep, melodic voice. When I returned my attention to his face I noticed how it had also softened into more tender expression. I could have stayed in that moment forever, but like all of my special seconds with Edward, it got interrupted, this time by one of the nurses assigned to my charge.

"It's nice to see you awake," she smiled as I looked up. "You had Mr. Swan here all worked up, from what I here. Wouldn't leave your bedside for anything. If only I could find myself a husband as devoted as yours, I'd be a happy woman."

I didn't answer, but looked over to Edward as the nurse told me the same discharge instructions as the doctor had. Unfortunately, I wasn't rewarded with his bright smile or even his usually focused eyes. What I could see from his downward gaze and defeated posture was worry, panic, and maybe even sadness. All I could do was watch him as the nurse handed me papers to sign and some to keep.

"There's a small one out there giving the Unit Assistants and Nurses a hard time for not letting her in the room. I believe she has some clothes for you if you don't want to put on the dress you wore when you were brought in."

I nodded and laughed at the mental image of Alice trying to storm the castle. "Yeah, I'd like that. Can I see her?"

"Sure thing, honey," the nurse smiled. "Just remember not to take off until he police get your statement." I nodded again, but with a grimace this time. How was I supposed to recount a night I couldn't remember? But talking to the police was the least of my worries. Edward was still freaking me out with his odd behavior and when the nurse finally left after a bit more nonchalant chitchat, I turned to tend to the broken man sitting by my bed, pulling his face up by the chin and forcing him to look at me. "Edward, what's-"

"I'm so sorry, Bella." I could feel my eyebrows scrunch in confusion. "I just… When the paramedic said that I could only stay with you as a spouse, I wasn't thinking straight. I just knew…" He trailed off as I began to giggle.

"Really, Edward? That's all? That's what had that look on your face? You were scaring me. I thought something was really wrong."

I took a deep, shaky breath, relieved that Edward wasn't in some kind of trouble. I suppose the situation could have been disastrous if the wrong person found out about it, but I wasn't going to say anything and I knew that my friends wouldn't either. Everything would be okay.

"What do you mean, 'That's all?' I'm pretending to be your husband. You don't find that weird or shocking in the least?"

"Well, I suppose I was a little confused when I first found out, but it doesn't bother me at all. Although, I do find it strange that people keep telling me how lucky I am to have such a man. Last time I checked, I was single," I teased. Edward narrowed his gorgeous green eyes.

"When exactly did you find out?" he asked suspiciously. I grinned.

"Last night while you were sleeping."

Edward opened his mouth several times before pressing his lips together firmly. I could almost see the wheels turning in his head trying to figure me out. To be perfectly honest, I didn't understand why he would think that I would be disturbed by his behavior. Even if I wasn't head over heels in love with him, he was still someone I had a close bond with and I would have been more upset had he gone straight home than with what he actually did in pretending I was his wife.

"You've known this whole time?" I nodded my head, trying to hide my smile, but I wasn't doing a very good job of it. "I guess it's your turn to laugh at my expense now, right? All right, let's have it," he said wryly.

"Oh, don't be like that," I said in mock frustration. I could still practically see Edward's mind working against him and as fun as it was to pester him with silly ribbing, I didn't want him to fret over my reaction to his fake title any longer. "Seriously, it's not that big of a deal."

"I crossed a line, Bella." I snorted at that and Edward sighed knowing exactly what I was thinking. "I know I've crossed lines in the past, but we have specific boundaries now."

I opened my mouth to reply with something snarky, but something in Edward's demeanor stopped me. I didn't want to fight with him anymore and even though I didn't altogether care about the stupid limit lines on our relationship, I knew that he did and I had to find some way for him to be okay with himself.

"I don't blame you for doing it, you know." He didn't say anything, but it looked as if he was searching for something behind my eyes. I had to try and let him off the hook. "Our special rules are good for when we're at school, but no matter what those restrictions do, they don't stop us from being friends."

I thought I saw some flicker of regret in Edward's eyes and I had to look away. The hopeful part of my brain wanted it to be because he wanted more for us, but the logical part made me think that maybe he regretted leading me on. Maybe he didn't think we were friends at all. Shaking my head and laughing at my useless internal debate, I turned back to Edward with a loving smile that would only ever be his. I knew that I would never feel the way I felt for Edward for any other man and I was okay with that. It hurt, but it was all I had, so I would take it.

"I know that this is hard for you because it puts your job at risk, but I honestly don't see anything wrong with me calling you Edward and laughing with you when we're miles away from Forks High."

"I don't think it works that way," he whispered and I could still hear the sadness in his voice.

"Why not? Why can't it work that way? I mean, it's not like there's some handbook that tells you how to be a friend and a teacher," I argued, even though I promised myself that I wouldn't. I just didn't like seeing him in pain.

"But that's just it, Bella. I'm not supposed to be your friend."

"Ugh! I'm so sick of rules!" I cried out to no one in particular. "Why do they get to dictate who can or can't be friends," I huffed, crossing my arms. Edward seemed highly amused, but his eyes still held a hint of sadness.

"Who exactly is 'they?'" he asked, trying to stay in control of his face. I hated when he tried to conceal his wonderful crooked smile. I loved it and it wasn't fair to keep it locked up.

"The man, of course. They're always trying to keep the little guy down," I said in all seriousness. That did it. Edward's face broke and I couldn't help the corners of my mouth lifting in a smile of my own at the glorious sight.

"You're too much, Bella," he said, gently shaking his head. I shrugged in an innocent denial, but he knew better. Eventually, though, my thoughts did turn serious and I wanted an honest answer.

"I still don't understand. Right now, right here, you aren't my teacher. You're Edward, the man who possibly saved my life and definitely saved my virtue, the man pretending to be my husband so that he can make sure I'm okay and the man sitting here, making me want to smash something and laugh at the same time," I finished urgently. He had to know how much he meant to me.

"I just don't know, Bella. I want to, but nothing changes the fact that you're still my student," he pleaded with me.

It took everything in me not to smirk at his tone and words. If he knew like I knew that he was about to give in, I wouldn't have had a chance. But this was something that I needed and I wasn't going to let my face reveal anything I didn't want it to. Not this time.

"I'm not asking you to go back on everything, but I don't see the point in pretending like there's nothing there save for a mutual respect when we're nowhere near campus. I mean, we're not even in the same county." I paused for a moment deciding on the best play. I learned from experience in being best friends with Alice how to steer a conversation my way and although I wasn't very good, it was worth a try.

"I care about you a lot," I said with my heart beating out of my chest. It was something a friend would say, but it meant so much more to me as I said it. "I understand that we need to be professional in the school setting," I continued, "But I would like to think that I'm more than just a student. I understand if I'm not, but you are certainly more to me."

"How can you think that you are just a student to me?" Edward asked. I could tell that my words stung. "Bella, you are so special. You don't even know how truly amazing you are."

I blushed then. He had said those same sentiments on several other occasions, but it was different this time. There was something in his eyes that I just couldn't place, but it made my heart stutter in its fervor. Every hope that I had ever had of Edward feeling love for me came rushing back at that moment. I could have played it off as my stupid wishful thinking, but, this time, I didn't want to. This time, I wanted to believe that there was a chance.

"God, Bella, you drive me so insane!" he strained to me, his hands tensing next to his head in a frustrated gesture, before taking up my own hand in his firm grasp. "Why don't you see yourself the way I see you? You just… You're so smart and talented. You make the world around you light up with your kindness and sincerity. How could you not know that anyone would be lucky to be…" he paused, "To be your friend," he finished softly.

It took me a few seconds to get over the shock of the emotion behind his words before I was able to speak and keep my wits about me. These feeling of hope were so new to me. "I'm sorry," I murmured, squeezing his hand. "I didn't mean to offend you."

"No, you… you didn't. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gotten so intense there," he laughed anxiously, darting his eyes anywhere but at me.

It was obvious that he felt he had said too much and it might have been completely horrible for me to feel the way that I did, but I was very pleased with myself for bringing that out of him.

With a heavy sigh, Edward closed his eyes and then looked back to me with a crease between his eyebrows. "What will it take for you believe me, Bella? I wasn't kidding when I said you drove me crazy with all your self-doubt."

"Let me be your friend," I stated firmly.

"Bella…" I could tell that Edward was completely exasperated with my stubborn pushing.

I didn't care. I was stubborn, after all, and I didn't see the point in being so miserable with our rules if we were over a hundred miles away from Forks and its stupid high school. I understood the full severity of what our unconventional relationship could mean if it were to become public knowledge, but it was ridiculous to think that word could get all the way back to our tiny, isolated town from Seattle.

"Please," I begged. I didn't even care that I sounded somewhat desperate. "Boundaries still intact at school and around everyone, but if I run into you in Seattle, Canada or Timbuktu, I want to be able to talk to you like I know you, _really_ know you. I need that, Edward. Please."

"I… Bella, I don't… Ah! Fine, okay, have it your way," he said, both resigned and frustrated. He was still holding my hand, but his eyes were directed down at my sheet and I hated that he felt so conflicted over our situation. I understood it just fine, I just didn't like it all that much and I immediately felt guilty for pushing him into something he didn't want to do.

"No, I'm sorry," I hurriedly said. "I'll call you Mr. Cullen. I shouldn't have asked you to do something that would put you in such a difficult position."

"Bella," Edward looked up at me and I could see the war happening just behind his eyes, but then his featured softened and he gave me a small smile, "I'd like it very much if you would call me Edward."

The expression he wore made me smile a little even though I still felt guilty over using Alice's manipulation tactics on him. It was just so hopeful and relieved, like he'd wanted this all along.

"Okay… Edward," I said, looking over at him as I rested my head on my pillow. It felt good to be able to call him that freely again. Well, as free as time would allow. Once we were back within Forks city limits, it was back to the necessary restrictions.

"Can you believe those people?" I heard a shrill voice say from out in the hall. It could only be one person and I giggled in anticipation. "Don't you try and shush me, Jasper! I don't care if we're in a flipping hospital. She's my best friend and those _cows,_" she said even louder than the rest of her speech, "wouldn't let me in to see her!"

I looked over at Edward and saw him covering his mouth trying not to laugh at the nearing antics of Alice. She had to be close if we were hearing her with such definition.

"'Only one person at a time,' they said. So kick the other guy out! It's not that hard!" Just then, the door burst open to reveal a very sleep deprived Alice and Jasper. While the latter looked about ready to drop, my tiny best friend was wearing a glare that would scare a professional wrestler and it was directed straight at Edward.

"I… think I should go," Edward said quickly, barely hiding his amusement.

He gave my hand a small squeeze before heading out past a livid Alice, but as soon as he was gone, her face broke and her lips trembled as tears danced at the edges of her eyes. Before I could blink, she was hugging me fiercely, sobbing into my chest. It hurt with how tightly she was holding me, but I just let her cry and stroked her hair to comfort her.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. This is all my fault. I knew something wasn't right and I should have taken it more seriously. I'm so sorry," she wailed.

"Alice, what are you talking about?" I pushed her away from me to look her in the face. "You couldn't have stopped this."

"Yes," she retorted, "I could have. You don't understand. I knew something was wrong and I just didn't listen to my instincts. You were so excited to go out and so I figured I could head off any danger, but I got lax and then you…" she couldn't finish her thought as a fresh round of tears came on.

"So that's why you wouldn't let me go off by myself." Alice's black hair swayed as she bobbed her head, still unable to speak quite yet. "Alice, that was all on me. I know that you have this gift, but just because you have these feelings about things doesn't mean that you should take the responsibility."

"But-"

"No. This isn't your fault. Say it." Alice bit her lip, not wanting to give in, but my warning glare made her sigh and open her mouth.

"This isn't my fault," she said resigned.

"Good, now where are my clothes," I smiled. Alice sniffed and looked to Jasper who slumped just a little more and walked back out to the waiting room. He looked exhausted. "Alice, did you guys sleep at all last night?"

"No," she sighed and her eyes drooped. "We were just so worried and even after we found out that you would be okay, we still had to go to the hotel and check out by eleven."

"Eleven? What time is it?" I asked, surprised. How long had I slept?

"It's one. We could have slept, but Jazz wouldn't have been able to drive on two hours of sleep. His adrenaline should kick in any moment now and then we'll be fine." As she said the last words of the sentence, her voice trialed off slightly and she stared unblinkingly at the wall behind me.

"Alice." No answer. "Alice," I sang, but she still didn't move. I yelled, "Alice!" then, and thankfully, she snapped out of her hypnotic trance.

"What?" she asked confused.

"There is no way you or Jasper are driving home. I'll drive."

"But, Bella-"

"Ah. No 'But, Bella' anything. We're not going to die because you were too worried to sleep last night," I said sternly. Alice just nodded her head and remained silent. We were still waiting for Jasper to get back when she spoke up.

"Bella, are you… I mean, did anything, um, happen?" I was confused for only a second before I saw the anguish in my best friend's expression and knew exactly what she was asking.

"No, Alice. Nothing happened," I said sincerely. "Edward got there in time." She nodded her head, taking in my words, as tears brimmed over her eyes and I pulled her into another hug. I hated seeing the ones I loved in so much pain.

Just as Alice was calming down, Jasper knocked on the door and entered my room followed by two very serious looking men in suits. This was the moment I had been dreading, but with my friends allowed to stay in the room with me - or more like Alice refusing to leave - I was able to get through it without too much discomfort.

Anger, on the other hand, was rising fast with each passing minute. My body was starting to hurt from the pain medication wearing off and the men working my case were treating me like I was some sort of idiot. It didn't matter how many different ways they asked the same question, I still wasn't going to remember and I was getting extremely frustrated.

Fortunately, the detectives decided I had given them enough before I lost my temper completely and I was able to let off a little steam by throwing my pillow at the closing door as they left, immediately regretting it as a sharp pain ran through my shoulder and ribs. For the second time in only a few hours, I looked over to see one of my visitors hunched and guarded.

But I knew that Jasper wasn't worried about me freaking out over him being my fake husband, so his posture only confused me. Alice also wasn't what I expected with her brow furrowed and a look of perplexed fury in her eyes.

"It was the same guy?" she asked in a low dangerous tone. I nodded. "He… I can't even…"

"Jasper," I said cutting off Alice's angry stuttering. She cocked her head to the side before looking at the person in question and then moved to comfort him.

"Jasper, baby, don't." He looked up at Alice's words, but I could see the doubt still present in his features.

"Seriously, Jasper, what could you have done? Decked the guy? And then he would have had you arrested. He didn't do anything wrong at the restaurant besides being creepy, but that's not exactly illegal, is it." Jasper shook his head, but I knew he didn't really care that he couldn't technically do anything. He felt responsible and with my prior agitated state, I couldn't hold back my outburst.

"Ugh, will you two please stop blaming yourselves? It is seriously getting on my nerves. _He _is the twisted jerk that did this, not you, not me, him. Isn't it usually the victim's job to feel like it's all their fault? Well, I'm not blaming myself, so neither should you."

With that, I ripped the fresh clothes out of Jasper's hands and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I knew it wasn't right to snap at them, but I couldn't think of any other way to get it through their thick skulls that they weren't accountable for the actions of some pervert.

I took a few extra minutes to wash my face and get my bearings before returning to the hospital room, so as not to risk jumping down my friends' throats again. When I returned, Edward had reappeared, accompanied by the strawberry blonde, and he was holding out his hand to Jasper. With a resigned grunt Jasper handed Edward his car keys and walked out of the room along with Alice and the other woman.

"What's going on?" I asked. Edward turned to me and a corner of his mouth lifted in that crooked grin I loved so much.

"Tanya's going to drive us back to Rose's so I can inform Emmett that I'm driving you and your friends home because none of you are fit to do so, yourselves, and then we're going to head out."

It took me a moment to digest what he was saying, but when I finally did, I spoke up. "I can drive. I got plenty of sleep," I argued.

"Yes, but you're also going to take one of the Vicodin I picked up from the pharmacy and you shouldn't drive with that in your system," he smiled, knowing he was right.

I narrowed my eyes. He seemed nervous about something and I waited patiently for him to answer my unspoken questions. It didn't take long. He knew there was no way I was going to drop it, so he sighed deeply before informing me of his plan.

"Your father needs to know." I opened my mouth to disagree, but he cut me off. "He's going to find out whether from your psych appointments or the trial, so you might as well not keep it from him. I'm going to go with you and make sure you get home safely, for one, and then I'll help you tell him."

Oh, this was not good at all. I hadn't even thought about how Charlie would react to the attack or me being in the club illegally for that matter. Edward was right. Charlie would find out eventually and it was better to just get it out there, but I didn't want to have to tell him.

I don't know what my face looked like, but Edward pulled me into his arms without hesitation, telling me that everything would be okay. But even as I was held tight in his embrace - something I knew was wrong for us - I knew it wouldn't be okay. My dad had taught me to be careful in situations like the one I had gotten myself into and I knew that he would be disappointed in me. I also knew that it wasn't Edward's problem and that it would put him in danger of the rumor mill again if he went through with talking to my dad.

"I'll do it, Edward. I promise. You don't need to babysit me while I tell him, though. You've done enough and I don't want you to get-"

"Bella, stop." He pulled me away from him just enough to look me in the eye and pushed his thumb across my tear stained cheek. I hadn't even realized I was crying. "You've been through a lot and I am not going to let you do this by yourself. I want to be there for you. Will you let me?"

I searched his face for any sign that he wasn't being completely honest with me and when I found none, I sucked in a ragged breath and nodded my head decisively. I wanted him there for support when I saw the look in my father's eyes.

"It's going to be so hard when I tell him-"

"When _we_ tell him," Edward interrupted. "Together."

It was strange how nothing seemed to be impossible when Edward was on my side. I could do anything, be anything as long as he was there.

"Together," I smiled. Everything would be okay because we were doing it together.

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**A/N: I gave you guys a lot of Edward and Bella this chapter. What do you think? Thanks for reading!**


	11. Glue for Broken Pieces

**A/N: First, a GIANT thank you to pwtf**** for beta'ing this chapter. It never would have been posted without her support. If they sold awesome in a can, your picture would be on the front, Rach! Second, thank you to everyone who bid in the September Support Stacie Auction and a special thanks to all who bid on me. Congrats **_Amymorgan_** and **_Infernalheart_**, who one me! Finally, thank to all of you who waited so patiently (or not so patiently, lol) for this chapter.**

_**Disclaimer****:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

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~*~Glue for Broken Pieces~*~

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**Edward**

Leaning against the cold, white surface of the hospital's emergency room walls, I let my eyes drift shut and relished in the aftermath of my talk with Bella. So many emotions were coursing through my body that it was hard to make sense of them all, but I welcomed them willingly. They were a much needed improvement to the gut-wrenching fear I had been experiencing the entire night.

But the fear wasn't completely gone. I still worried about how Bella would deal with what happened to her, how her friends and family would take the news of her attack and, now, I had a new fear as well. A fear of the unknown possibilities for Bella and me.

We were friends. She had asked for it and even though I had always considered her more in my heart, declaring our status out loud was both invigorating and terrifying. I tried to say no, to keep up the boundaries I depended on, but the look of determination and want in her eyes made me cave. It really wasn't all that hard to do.

I could have resisted. I could have stood my ground and stuck to my plan of waiting until after graduation to pursue any type of relationship with her. I could have denied her beautiful, pleading face if I had wanted to. But that was the problem; I didn't want to.

I still refused to take the step that I so desperately craved in telling her how I felt, but if I could just have that pleasant familiarity with her outside the bubble of Forks, I didn't see a problem in it. It wasn't as if we would constantly run into each other in Seattle, but if we did, I would be able to have a conversation with her without the nagging voice in my head telling me I was breaking the rules.

"Looks like you didn't come out unscathed in all this. Nice battle scar." Coming out of my thoughts and lifting my head from the wall, I saw Tanya looking at my bandaged head in concern.

"You don't think it will really scar, do you?" I asked as seriously as I could manage to try and lighten the mood. It worked, and Tanya pushed lightly on my chest, shaking her head.

"So, you seem strangely happy for all that happened last night."

I let out a hesitant chuckle and watched as the woman in front of me quirked a questioning eyebrow, a slightly amused quality to her lips.

"Bella's okay," I said slowly, hoping to delay saying what I already knew Tanya had uncovered in my mood.

It was nice to be able to talk to her, but it was still new for me to be so open with anyone but Bella, and I couldn't exactly ask Bella about my feelings for Bella. I just needed to get used to having someone to talk to.

"Yeah, the nurse said as much when she came out to update Alice. That girl is persistent, if nothing else. But this is more," Tanya inquired suspiciously, narrowing her eyes and waving an accusatory finger in my face. "What are you not telling me?"

"I, um… Well-"

"Spit it out, Cullen."

"We're friends," I said without delay.

I could see the confusion on Tanya's face as she tried to figure out why I was so happy about something so seemingly inconsequential, and I laughed freely. I just felt so light despite everything trying to push me down and decided I might as well bare all to the only person I could really talk to about the matter.

"What I mean to say is, Bella and I talked and we're… I don't know… progressing, I guess. She said that she cares about me and I told her that I care about her. We're working towards something. It was so hard to control myself," I said shaking my head. "I wanted to tell her how much I love her every time I opened my mouth."

"Why didn't you?" I stared at Tanya incredulously, but she didn't back down. "Oh, come off it, Edward. She told you she cares about you. She told a teacher that she cares for him. She's got a lot at stake. Look back on the conversation. Do you really think it's all platonic?"

I scowled at Tanya even though I wasn't truly angry with her. I was just a little put off by her incessant need to push me into more than I was ready for. Of course I didn't think that Bella's feelings were strictly platonic, or, at least, I hoped they weren't - otherwise, my plan to romance her after graduation would have been pointless. But that didn't mean I should jump into something that could inevitably hurt both Bella and myself.

Tanya's idea that I should just come straight out with it was irrational. There was so much wrong with having a relationship with a student, and it wouldn't matter to wait a few more months to be with the woman I loved.

But as much as I wanted to be annoyed with my new confidant, I knew that she was speaking on behalf of more than just me. Her own experience with Rosalie was clouding her judgment, and if Rose happened to have been a lesbian, I would have definitely encouraged Tanya to go for it immediately. Unfortunately, this wasn't the same situation in the slightest, and making the wrong move could ruin everything.

With a much needed change in topic, I asked, "How's Rose?" Tanya's face fell instantly as she closed her eyes, pulling in a deep, steadying breath.

"Not good," she said, taking a moment before opening her eyes again. "She was in her office when I got to the apartment and didn't come out for hours. Then she walked right past us and out the door without a second glance. It was like… I don't know. I can't even describe it. She was in some sort of calm rage."

Tanya looked distant for a moment then shook her head tightly. "Anyway, Emmett ran after her, but they didn't come back. It was doing Alice no good to just sit around, so I brought them here to find out what was happening."

I nodded my head, taking in the new information. Rose had to be devastated by what James had done, and I didn't know how I could help her. I knew she'd give me a ride home to Forks if I decided to stay behind for her, but I had my classes and LitMag to worry about too. Rose was definitely more important than all that, but then there was Bella.

Bella would be in Forks and I knew, without even having to decide, that I needed to be with her after what happened, even if it was only from a distance. So I turned to Tanya to ask for her help. She loved Rose more than life; if her feelings were anything like mine for Bella, I knew that she wouldn't hesitate to grant my favor.

"Do you think you could stay with Rose?" I felt bad asking, knowing that it would be hard on her, but I needed to make sure my sister would be alright. "I wouldn't ask, but-"

"I was already planning on it, Edward."

I took a shallow breath and rolled my eyes at myself. Of course Tanya would already be one step ahead of me. It was Rose.

"Mr. Swan," I turned to see a small, black woman in cartoon scrubs walking toward me. "Your wife's going to be a while and I figured you'd want to leave as soon as you're able. If you'd like, you can fill her prescription for her."

I gave a short laugh at the universe not allowing me any secrets and smiled at the nurse handing me Bella's papers. I thanked her sincerely and she gave me a playful look, telling me how adorable I was with my "wife." I had to bite my tongue to keep from screaming or laughing. I wasn't sure which I was liable to do.

I couldn't really see Tanya's face from my position talking to the nurse, but I could imagine her smug expression and feel her retinas burning into the back of my head. Oh, the conversation we were about to have would be fun… for her, anyway.

"I'm hurt, Edward." I snorted at the completely false tone her voice had taken on. "I thought we were friends, you and me. Not even an invitation to the wedding!" She sighed dramatically. "I guess I'll just have to take you off my Myspace Top Friends List."

"I don't even have a Myspace." I was trying incredibly hard not to smile, but doing a very poor job of it. All traces of mock annoyance were giving out to humor.

"I'll make you one, and then I'll shun you. It's the only way to be fair," she said so seriously, if I hadn't known better, I wouldn't have realized she was joking. I couldn't take it anymore. I laughed.

"Shush!"

I quieted at the orderly's angry glare, but couldn't contain myself completely and looked over to see Tanya smiling wide with me. Emmett was my best friend, but I knew that I was still constantly guarded around him. Bella was the only other person that I was close with, and I opened up farther to her than anyone, but her being a student still hindered our relationship. Tanya was the best of both worlds.

Tanya knew my deepest secrets, but didn't judge me. She knew about my past through Rosalie and my love for a student, but she still regarded me with respect and a growing sense of friendship. I could laugh with her and talk with her, all without the ever-constant feeling of attraction that radiated off of other women. It was nice not being ogled by my sister's best friend. And it was nice to finally have a friend of my own that I could just be myself with.

"I was wondering how you finagled staying in her room with her." Tanya was smiling softly, but a worried crease marred her usually smooth forehead. "Won't it cause trouble for you?"

"I wasn't really thinking about it at the time," I answered truthfully. "I don't think so, though. It didn't come up when I talked to the police. I gave them Cullen, but I'm using her last name with the hospital staff. The only thing I can think of is that her status on all her medical papers is married."

Tanya made a humming noise in the back of her throat and shook her head. "No, she could just say it was miscommunication or something. That's not a big deal. It's not like they're actually going to look into it."

I sighed in relief. Although the price would have been small in comparison, I was still glad I wouldn't have to pay it.

"Well, that's one potential problem down, only nine thousand, six hundred fifty-two to go," I remarked sarcastically. "Next on the list is talking to Bella's father and making sure she gets to her therapy appointments."

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall. I was not looking forward to telling the Chief of police that my sister's fiancé drugged and tried to rape his little girl, but I knew that Bella would make an actual effort in avoiding having to tell her dad about the events that transpired. I needed her to take getting help seriously, and if I had to go through her parents, then so be it.

"You're actually going to turn her into her dad? I understand, but… ouch."

"It's not like he wouldn't find out eventually," I said defensively. "If there's a trial, it's going to be all over the news here in Seattle, and with him being the Chief of Police, I doubt he'll… What?"

My reasonings fell short when Tanya burst into not-so-quiet laughter. I could see the nurse behind the desk growing impatient with us and, although I had no clue what Tanya was giggling at, I couldn't help but find the situation mildly amusing, and a goofy grin spread across my face.

"Edward, my God…" Tanya breathed, still trying to fight off her hysterics. "You have got to be the unluckiest man I know."

My smile didn't fade, but I narrowed my eyes and shook my head in incredulous question, opening my mouth to retort but not finding the words. What on earth was she talking about?

Leaning close and lowering her voice, Tanya explained to me what she found so hilarious. I didn't share her sentiment. "You find a woman that you love beyond anything else, and not only is she one of your high school students, she's a cop's kid… the Chief's, in fact!"

I immediately pulled back and glared at Tanya, though it hardly had any strength behind it. Her words were true. I felt like I'd won a cursed lottery in meeting Bella. She was all the riches I could ever want and yet she was untouchable. _Just call me Indiana Jones_, I thought dryly.

I was about to walk away from Tanya's teasing when I noticed little black numbers peeking out of the sleeve of her blouse. She rubbed her arm absentmindedly and shifted the fabric higher to where I got a glimpse of a name. I grinned and shifted my eyes back to Tanya's face. She hadn't been paying any special attention to where I was looking, and the perplexity on her face at my new mischievous demeanor was priceless.

Ceasing her taunting and giggles almost immediately, she quirked her head, eyes calculating what I could be getting at.

"I like the name Heidi. It's very regal." Tanya's eyes widened and then she smiled, ducking her head. Was she blushing?

"Thank you." It was so soft I almost missed it.

"You don't have to thank me. I didn't do anything."

Tanya looked up at me then, the smile still firmly in place as she rolled her eyes at me.

"There's no way in hell I would have asked her to dance without you physically pushing me to do it. So, thank you, Edward, because I think I could really like her."

The tone of her voice left no room for argument, so I said simply, "You're welcome," and left it at that.

I would have loved to question her about the brunette from the club, but in turning my head, I caught Jasper walking through the automatic doors of the emergency room, holding a bunch of folded clothes in his crossed arms. It wouldn't have been remarkable, the way he glided across the floor at a slow pace, heading straight for Bella's room and not running into anything, save for the fact that his eyes were gently closed and he appeared to be sleepwalking.

"Did they get any sleep at all last night?"

Tanya focused her gaze in the direction of mine and snorted. "Are you kidding? Those two were freaking out the whole time. They couldn't have slept if they'd wanted to. I took them to their hotel to pack and maybe catch a few hours of sleep, but they just wanted to get back here."

"He can't drive home like that. It's three hours if you speed the entire way. He'll never make it."

"You could drive them." I snapped my head to Tanya. "You're going to be talking to her dad anyway, right?"

I grunted and turned back to Jasper who had just turned the corner, now joined by the detectives I'd met the night before. Tanya definitely had a point. I could hardly let three of my students ride home in probable danger, and there wasn't a chance in hell I was letting Bella in that car. The only thing that made any sense was to drive them home.

After a not-so-quick stop at the pharmacy and a small wait for the police to clear out, I popped into Bella's room and confronted Jasper on driving home. Being quiet and rather subdued in LitMag meetings, the guy was more stubborn than I would have expected. The second I even hinted at taking his keys, his eyes narrowed and he took a small step back.

If Tanya hadn't been there, I probably wouldn't have gotten them out of him as easily as I did. I couldn't blame him, though. If someone had demanded the keys to my Volvo for a long trip like the one back to Forks, I would have fought tooth and nail.

The next part was convincing Bella that I was doing the right thing by her. I knew it would be hard, but I didn't want to go behind her back completely. I needed her approval, even if given reluctantly.

She could tell something was up immediately and I knew that I couldn't hide my intentions from her even if I'd wanted to. Surprisingly enough, she didn't put up as much of a fight as I thought she would when I told her about talking to the Chief. I expected her to be stubborn and relentless, but she only looked scared.

Under different circumstances, I never would have allowed myself to pull Bella into my arms so freely. I would have fought the urge to comfort her as best I could and turned the other direction. But within those four walls, I was still her supposed husband, and I could pretend for a moment that I wasn't completely disregarding the line between teacher and student, or friend and something more.

"Hey, you guys have to get going if you want to be back before nightfall."

"Right," I said, turning to Tanya. "I want you to meet someone first."

"This must be Bella." Tanya was beaming as she took Bella's hand in hers and introduced herself as Rose's best friend.

Bella smiled politely in return, but I could see something bothering her. I guessed the hospital scenery was growing tiring, so I ushered the girls from the room and out the automatic doors to the Emergency Room parking lot, where we found Alice and Jasper already asleep in the backseat of Jasper's car.

"I'm going to run in and grab my stuff and make sure Rose is all right. Are you okay to stay in the car?" I asked, turning around in my seat once we were en route to the apartment.

"I'm not as fragile as you think I am, E—um…" Bella glanced at Tanya, furring her brow in what I thought was caution and hint of annoyance. "I'm okay, Mr. Cullen."

From the corner of my eye I could make out the unsuccessfully repressed grin on Tanya's face, her hunched shoulders clueing me into the fact that she was trying to hold in laughter as well. I chose to ignore it, giving Bella a reassuring half smile and turning my body back to the road ahead.

It wasn't ten minutes later that I was on my way up to the Van Gogh, Penthouse suite, fiddling nervously with the hem of my shirt. I had no idea what I would find when I walked through the door, and I was scared.

My fear didn't lessen with the eerie quiet that I was met with upon entering. I knew they were there because both cars were downstairs, but there were no voices, no TV or radio humming in the background, nothing. I was thinking about breaking the silence with a quick greeting into the air, but heavy footsteps coming from the guest bedroom stopped me.

"Emmett? It's nearly five o'clock. Why aren't you ready?"

The man in question blinked his eyes a few times, rubbing a massive hand over an unshaven face. Emmett was still donning his slacks from the night before and an undershirt; both were wrinkled and disheveled.

"I thought I heard someone come in."

He moved past me to the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee, completely ignoring my initial inquiry.

"Emmett…" I prodded. He stared blankly up at me for a minute before I saw a light click on behind his eyes

"Oh, right. Sorry. Rose was restless all night. I didn't get much sleep."

"How is she?" I asked tentatively, leaning against the nearest wall and crossing my arms in front of my chest. I didn't know if I really wanted the answer, but I needed it nonetheless.

"Not so good. I mean, she can't go into her bedroom at all. She was shaking last night when she tried to go to bed in there, so I just brought her to our room." Emmett paused to take a breath and roll the muscles in his neck. "She cried herself to sleep, but kept tossing and turning most of the night.

"I woke up around six, I think, to an empty bed and found her sitting on the balcony. She didn't want to talk about it when I tried, but I got a little out of her." Emmett narrowed his eyes and twisted one side of his mouth in annoyance. "Then she started cleaning."

"Cleaning? Rose never cleans. Or, I mean, she never used to," I added quietly. It was very possible that my sister's habits had changed in our time apart.

"I don't think she does usually." There was an air of ire to Emmett's tone and demeanor that made me uncross myself and move closer. "She fumbled with the cleaning supplies and used wood polisher to start with before I told her what it was. I think… I think she was trying to get him out of everything.

"The way she scrubbed… It wasn't like getting a spot out. It was like if she didn't clean this place, it would kill her. I've never seen something so… so desperate before." Emmett looked up at me from the place on the counter he'd been staring at, and he just seemed lost. "It was hard, man. I couldn't get her to stop, so I tried to help her, but then she'd just do the place I'd cleaned anyway.

"And still, she never went in that room. She completely ignored it, like it wasn't there." Bringing a hand up to rub his eyes, Emmett shook his head a little, to shake off whatever thought he was having, I assumed. My own thoughts were too painful to bring to the surface, but deep down, I knew why she avoided the room that she shared with him.

"She finally got worn out around three and we went back to bed. I was half awake when I heard you come through the door."

"I hate to do this to you, Emmett, but the kids are all exhausted. I have to drive them home."

Giving me a contemplative look, Emmett sighed and got up to walk past me. He gave my shoulder a quick squeeze and then headed toward our bedroom saying, "I'll help you pack."

"You aren't coming?"

"No. I…" He paused just in front of the door, making me rock forward on my feet at the suddenness of it. "I can't leave her," he said quietly.

I had known how sensitive of a man my best friend was since we'd first met over a year prior. Even in his immense size, he couldn't begin to hide his generosity and loving heart, but… this was more. I didn't know fully how Emmett was with women, having only seen him a few times with a girl, but I knew without a doubt the severity of his feelings in that moment.

He was falling in love with Rosalie. I only prayed it didn't break him.

"Take care of her," I said softly, but with a firmness I knew Emmett caught. I wasn't talking about that night or the next, I was talking about a lifetime, if fate allowed.

"I will."

We spent the next ten minutes scouring the room for my clothes and necessities as quietly as we could, so as to not wake the sleeping heap on the bed. It didn't matter much anyway. Rose slept like the dead and I doubted a freight train could have woken her.

Emmett left me to say goodbye to my sister after we'd successfully packed my suitcase, and I sat on the edge of the bed, just looking at her. We had missed so much of each other's lives, and the second we found each other, Rose's world came crashing down around her… again.

She'd lost her parents and then her brother - through no fault of her own, but I was still a missing piece to her life. And, finally, the man she was going to marry turns out to be a monster. Gently stroking back the blonde locks from her face, I wondered how anyone could survive all that, but then I thought of the Rose I used to know, and I knew that if I could get her back, then she would be fine.

"Rose," I said, gently shaking her shoulder. "Rosalie."

"Hmm?"

"Can you wake up for a second so I can say goodbye?"

Rosalie's eyes popped open then, and I was unnerved by their vulnerability.

"Do you have to go? I mean, you can't stay just a little longer? For dinner, maybe?"

I smiled down at my sister and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead. "I have to go and make sure my students get home safely, but Emmett and Tanya are going to stay with you tonight and I'll be back on Friday, okay?"

"Emmett's staying?" The tiny crease between the green eyes that stared back at me let me know that she was confused as to why he would be staying, but the small smile hiding in the corner of her mouth let me know that she liked the idea.

"Yeah. You seem to have him wrapped around your finger," I said with a chuckle.

"I doubt that," she said softly, but her smile grew more pronounced. "You'll be back on Friday, you said?"

"Yep. There's this blondie up here in Seattle that's kind of important to me."

"Get out. I bet she's hot, huh? Gorgeous figure, striking beauty?"

I laughed, relieved at the jokes. It felt like old times, in a way. "Yeah, she's something else. Emmett's going to walk me out and Tanya'll be up in a minute or two. You should get some more rest."

"I love you, Edward. I never stopped loving you, I swear."

"I know." Pulling up the blankets, I leaned in to give her another quick kiss. "I know. I love you too, and I'll be back soon."

It was a quiet trip down to the garage, but not uncomfortable. Emmett asked me to get his lesson plan from his apartment for the sub and to check on things there. He was only staying for one more night, but he didn't feel like letting the neighbors know he wasn't home. I thanked him again for everything he was doing, and he helped me situate my suitcase into the crowded trunk of Jasper's car.

Tanya had already left for the penthouse and I was saying my goodbye to Emmett when I remembered something Tanya had told me about the night before.

"Hey, where did you and Rose go last night? Tanya said she took off, with you following, and never came back."

"Oh, uh…" Emmett lifted and hand to the back of his neck, pushing air through his pursed lips. "She went to the police station."

"She what? Why?"

"It… she had information… on James. Apparently there've been a lot of serial rape/murders and the douche bag was the, um… he was it, man. He's a monster, a straight up psycho."

"Wait, she had information that the creep was a lunatic rapist and she just… what? She didn't care?"

My mind was spinning circles over what I was hearing. Rose had information that could have put James away before he attacked Bella, but she didn't use it. She still slept with him after knowing… Oh, God.

"No, man, calm down," Emmett said as my breathing grew more rapid.

"How can I be calm? She knew!"

"No, she didn't!" I looked up at Emmett, finally registering what he was trying to tell me. "She didn't know shit! Look, the woman was in denial, okay? You don't stay with someone like that without blocking shit out."

I pushed both hands through my hair and braced them behind my head, still trying to control my breathing. Emmett was right. I knew he was right, but it just didn't make any sense. How did she have files on James if she didn't know what he was?

"Explain it to me." I knew I sounded like an ass, but I had to know. I had to make everything fit inside my head or I wouldn't move past it, especially not with mine and Rosalie's wounds so freshly opened.

"She started clicking things together in her head. Subconsciously, I mean. She said that she knew something wasn't right with him, but she didn't want to believe it. And then when you called her and came to see her, everything with James started clearing up and she had to check him out for her own sanity.

"Dude, she was a mess. She started calling in favors a week ago, but she couldn't look at the emails or faxes. Do you know what it's like to know that you could have stopped something if you had just looked? She does, Edward. She knows and it kills her that Bella almost… almost…"

"I get it, Emmett."

"Do you?"

"Yes, damn it! I get it, okay? I know how fucked up she was over what happened between us. I know that this is my fault!"

"What? Edward, that's not-"

"You don't think I feel like shit over how I treated her? You don't think watching her with that disgusting fuck and then finding out what he is rips me apart inside? Well, it fucking does! It was because I wasn't there! I wasn't there and she felt she needed his… his… God, what did I do?"

I ran my hands roughly over my face and tangled my fingers in my hair. My head was pounding with everything I was taking in. It was too much. It was all just too much.

"Edward!" I jerked my head around to see Emmett staring at me with wide eyes. "You need to stop. Now."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. You just need to cool it. Jasper and Alice are awake now."

I turned toward the car and groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose. The entire car was alert and looking at me with concern.

"It's not your fault." I looked up at Emmett, my lips still tightly set and my eyes still sharp. "It isn't Rose's fault and it isn't yours, either. It's just… fucked up, and there's not a damned thing anyone can do about it but try to move on."

It was a long moment before I spoke again. "Emmett, I-"

"Naw, man. It's cool. Just make sure the kids get home okay and call me when you get there. I'm sure Rose will want to make sure you're safe." I smiled a little ruefully at Emmett and nodded my assent. Why he put up with me, I'd never know.

I tried to ignore the curious looks as I climbed in the car. I'd lost my temper. I knew that, but I didn't feel like discussing it with Bella's friends and, subsequently, students from my school. It took maybe a half hour, but the wide eyes from the back seat soon drifted shut again, and I let out a heavy breath. It might have been partially in relief, but mostly I just felt resigned to the fact that I couldn't keep my school life and private life separate. Bella was one thing, but Alice and Jasper were another.

"Are you okay?"

I took a quick glance at the worried expression on Bella's face and tried to give her a small smile to ease her fears.

"I'm fine, I'm just… tired, you know? It's been a long day."

"I heard some of what you said." She paused and then continued with a little more caution. "I'm a little confused."

"About what?" I asked, taking in the way she fidgeted with her shirt sleeve from the corner of my eye. I was pretty sure she was biting her bottom lip.

"Why would your sister be… I mean, was she a victim, too, or something?" My mind went blank as to what to say. How did I explain to her who James was? "You don't have to tell me. It's none of my business really, I was just curious. I'm sorry."

"Whoa, Bella, slow down." She was talking a mile a minute trying to let me off the hook. "It's not that. It's just… Rose wasn't exactly a victim, no. But… Well, the guy that attacked you last night…" God, how was I supposed to tell her that I'd had dinner and conversation with him?

"You don't have to tell me, Edward. I understand."

"No, you don't. Not really. The reason I was at the club last night was because I was _with_ him." I could barely get the words out, but I had to be honest with Bella. I didn't have the courage to look at her, though. "He was my sister's fiancé."

I waited for what felt like an eternity for some reaction out of Bella. Would she hate Rosalie? Would she hate me? I had been there, after all. I should have known that the man wasn't right. I should have been more careful, watched him more closely, and maybe Bella wouldn't have come so close to being seriously hurt.

My right hand had been gripping the gear shift on Jasper's car, even though the highway didn't call for much change in pace. I nearly jumped when I felt Bella's cool fingers across the back of it. I stared down at the connection for more than a long second before returning my eyes to the road, and then I flipped my hand to hold hers more firmly, lacing our fingers.

We didn't talk much more on the way back to Forks, a little of Bella asking if Rosalie would be okay and a few comments on the hospital stay. But I didn't need words. That simple gesture was enough to both settle my mind and warm my heart simultaneously. As an English major, I probably should have even thought it, but… words were definitely overrated. Nothing Bella could have said would have eased my fears, but her touch did so much more.

Before I would have liked, the 'Welcome to Forks' sign came into view, and I felt Bella's hand tighten as her body went stiff.

"It's okay," I whispered, still mindful of the snores coming from behind me. "I'll be with you the whole time."

"I know, it's just… I don't want to see him disappointed in me. He taught me better than that, you know?"

"He'll still love you, Bella. He might get upset, but it's only because he cares about you so much."

"I know," she mumbled. I sighed. I didn't want her to dread this meeting. It would be tough, but dwelling on the negative would only stress her unnecessarily.

Laughing, I recalled a moment from my childhood. "When I was thirteen, my dad caught me talking to one of my friends about fooling around with Reverend Fischer's daughter. All lies, of course."

"Oh, really?" Although her worry wasn't completely gone, I could hear how amused she was by the start of my story.

"Really. My dad made me tell my mom about how I was disrespecting women. That is a moment I'll never forget. I had always cared a lot about how my mother saw me. Call me a momma's boy, I don't care. Her opinion meant everything, and the thought of telling her I had been blatantly spreading rumors about a young lady in my class… I was crying like someone had beaten me by the time we got home.

"Mom thought something was the matter with me and almost started hyperventilating when I wouldn't tell her where I was hurt, while my dad just stood there shaking his head."

"What did she do when you finally told her?" There was a frown in Bella's eyes but a soft smile on her lips. Her sympathy was endearing.

"Held me on her lap," I chuckled. "If I hadn't been a complete mess, she probably would have scolded me pretty badly, but as it was, we just had a long talk about why women should be treated with the highest amount of respect. I won't say I didn't mess up a few times, but I've tried to live my life like a gentlemen because of everything she taught me."

The car was quiet for several seconds before I heard Bella's low voice. "She would have been proud of how you turned out."

"You think?" I asked, smiling despite the squeeze on my heart.

"Yeah, I think. She sounds like she was an amazing woman."

"She was," I whispered, more to myself than to her. I needed to get my thoughts away from missing my parents, so I decided to finish the story. "Although, I thought she was pretty harsh with the punishment." I shook my head, remembering.

"What was it?" Bella asked eagerly, all traces of her earlier preoccupation gone. I gave her a wide smile at being able to distract her.

"I had to go apologize to the good reverend and Melanie."

"No!"

"I did," I laughed. "I was mortified. Reverend Fischer was this stern, unforgiving-looking man, too. You can imagine how a thirteen-year-old would fare under that kind of scrutiny."

"What did the girl do?"

"Melanie? Geez, she wouldn't leave me alone after that. Apparently preachers' kids are rebels… well, excluding Angela Weber; that girl is too shy to be anything like that," I mused.

"Angela may be shy, but she does her fair share of rebelling. She's just too smart to get caught and let it mess with her future," Bella admitted. "She got me and Alice drunk once last year because everyone kept telling her how well-behaved she was. She said something about 'not being a dog' and 'she'd show them how well behaved she could be.'"

I looked over and saw Bella roll her eyes. "It was pretty comical, looking back, all of us wasted and sharing our life's problems like they were right up there with world poverty or natural disasters on the importance scale."

I snorted out a small chuckle. "I can almost imagine it. The three of you leaning on each other and stumbling around while talking about the devastations of high school life."

"Hey, don't knock the hardships of teens!" she chided, grinning. "We have it pretty rough, I'll have you know."

"Oh, I wouldn't doubt it for a second."

"Okay. Preacher's kid, rebelling against society's expectations, wouldn't leave you alone. Do continue, good sir," she said, adopting a noticeably fake British accent. "I do believe your story is getting rather interesting."

"Jolly right, then," I said in the same manner. "Good Melanie found my untruths about her training bra very intriguing and wanted to make an honest man out of me."

"And were you a gentleman or did you partake?" she questioned playfully, but I thought I saw a hint of true curiosity there.

"After the chat my dear, sweet mother had with me and the verbal lashing from her father? Please, madam, I was scared to go anywhere near the girl! Or any girl for that matter," I added in my regular speech.

"You poor darling, denied such fruits at your young, impressionable age." Bella wiped a nonexistent tear from the corner of her eye and hiccupped like a pro.

"I feel like I might be in an episode of The Twilight Zone. You two are going to start shoving tea and crumpets down everyone's throats and then take over the world."

Bella burst into laugher at the sleep-filled, monotone voice from the backseat, and I couldn't help but chuckle right along with her. "I'm sorry we woke you, Alice. I guess we got a little carried away."

"No big deal," she said, stifling a yawn. "It looks like we're here, anyway."

Bella turned immediately to take in her surroundings, and her lightness dimmed substantially. During our theatrics, we had dropped our hands, and as much as I wanted to reestablish that connection to try and calm her, I knew I couldn't with two other people in the car, both of whom were now wide awake.

It took only a minute to transfer Bella's and my things from Jasper's car to my Volvo, and I waited in the driver's seat for Bella to finish explaining what was going on to her friends. The look on Alice's face had me more than slightly confused. It was as if they were saying goodbye for years and not just a day.

"Everything all right?" I asked after Bella buckled her seat belt.

"Yeah. I'm just going to miss her."

"I don't understand."

"Alice is going to get her car taken away for a month, and I know my dad will watch me like a hawk for a few weeks, at least." She sounded exhausted by the subject. "I'll be driving myself straight to and from school for a while, and Alice will have to rely on her driver again."

"Get her Porsche taken away often, does she?"

"Huh? Oh, no, Alice just has… Well, she just knows certain things will happen."

I smiled begrudgingly, remembering when Bella got lost in the woods a few weeks prior. Either Alice had a talent for guessing, or her intuition was far more advanced than most people's.

We passed the school on our way to Bella's house and it felt strange being back in Forks. I had been gone only since Friday morning, but the events of Seattle made it feel like a lifetime. For everyone else, school would be back in session tomorrow and it will be like no time has passed. For me, I will have conquered some of my demons and made decisions that I had been avoiding having to make. Tomorrow would be the first day of the rest of my life, and I laughed at how true such a common saying could be.

"Are you ready?" I asked, pulling up in front of the Swan residence. Bella took a deep breath and nodded her head before shaking it in the negative.

"No."

I laughed. "Come on." I was all set to knock on the door, but Bella went right inside.

"Dad, I'm home!"

I'd been focusing on Bella's nerves and not noticing my own, but they became very apparent when the Chief walked around the corner from the kitchen, a small scowl on his face.

"It's almost ten o'clock, Bells. You said you'd be… Oh, Mr. Cullen. Nice to see you again, son. What brings you here?"

I hadn't had much experience with cops in my life, but the last twenty-four hours had given me plenty to pull from. It was clear from his tone of voice and intimidating stance that Bella's father was now in full 'cop mode.'

"I'm sorry to drop in on you so late and unexpectedly, sir, but there was an incident in Seattle that I thought I should discuss with you."

"Did Isabella do something wrong?" he asked gruffly, but I could detect the surprise in his voice as well as his expression.

"No, sir, but there is something important that Bella needs to tell you. Can we move to the living room, or dining room if you prefer?"

Chief Swan ushered us into the living room without another word, and I could see the worry practically etched into his face. He sat forward on the chair, and his posture was anything but relaxed. Bella sat on the loveseat furthest away from her father, and I had to hold back a frustrated sigh at my dilemma.

Every cell in my body wanted me to sit next to Bella, but there was an entire couch for me to sit on, and taking a seat so close to her when there was plenty available room was sure to look off. Not to mention, I knew that if I sat next to her I would want to hold her hand or comfort her in some way, so I did the next best thing. I sat in the corner of the long couch closest to Bella and turned toward the Chief.

"What's this all about, Bella?"

"I, um…" Bella took a deep breath and then began, her eyes set firmly on the coffee table. "I went dancing with Alice and Jasper at this club in Seattle. It was a twenty-one and up club, but I swear we didn't drink. I went to the bar to get a Coke and someone put something in my drink…"

Bella's voice choked off and she finally looked up at her father. He was looking at Bella with a blank expression, but I could tell by the way his hands were clasped that he wanted to hit something or yell. Instead, he nodded for Bella to continue.

"It happened so fast, the drug, I mean. I didn't have any time to realize what was happening and then he was there and… and…" tears were now falling down Bella's face and I didn't care what it looked like, I reached out and took her hand.

"I was so scared, dad. I didn't know what was going on and I still don't even remember it all, but I know I was scared and I couldn't move." Bella choked out another sob and I decided it was time for me to take over. I patted Bella's hand and then reluctantly pulled both of mine away.

"I was at the club with my sister and her fiancé when I saw him bump into Bella and distract her while he poured the drugs in her drink. I didn't let him get anywhere with your daughter, sir, but it was still extremely traumatic for her and the doctor suggested she see a psychologist."

The Chief sat quite still for several minutes, then finally turned to look me in the eye. "Why didn't anyone contact me?"

"Honestly, sir? It was so hectic, trying to take care of both Alice and Jasper and my sister, I wasn't thinking about it." Granted, that was mostly a lie for my part, but he didn't need to know that I was too screwed up over his daughter to function. "I just wanted to make sure Bella came out of everything okay and then I drove the kids home because none of them were fit to drive."

The Chief was quiet once more. I knew it probably had to be hard on him, hearing that his daughter was almost a statistic, and he was dealing with it the best way he knew how. After another moment, he stood from his chair and walked over to Bella, kneeling in front of her and lifting her chin to look him in the eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly.

Bella didn't answer, but tossed her arms around his neck, her brown hair mixing with his of the same color. She held him for everything it was worth and he held her even tighter. I noticed a tear fall from one of the Chief's lashes and decided to give them their privacy for the evening.

"I'm going to head out. I'll see you tomorrow, Bella."

"I'll walk you out," the Chief said, patting me on the back and leaving Bella on the seat. I figured he probably needed to pull himself together a bit before returning to his daughter.

When we made it to the porch Charlie Swan turned me toward him and he was no longer the Chief of Police, but a father in desperate need of reassurance. "I wanted to thank you, Mr. Cullen. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't been there and… just, thank you."

"There's no need to thank me, Chief. I would have done the same for any woman, but the fact that she was one of my students made it more personal to me. I was just doing the right thing."

"Be that as it may, you saved my little girl, and I don't think I can ever repay you for that." The Chief paused for a moment. "Do you think she'll be all right?"

"I think she'll be fine if she doesn't go stubborn on us and not make her therapy appointments," I laughed, trying to give the man before me what he needed. "That girl has got the strongest will I have ever seen in my life."

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Her mother and I are both stubborn people in different ways. Bella got it from both sides and it made her one hell of a pistol." A far-off look graced his face and he added determinedly, "She'll get through this. I know she will."

"I'd be willing to bet it."

The Chief thanked me once more and then sent me on my way. I was just pulling into my apartment complex when my phone rang. I figured it must have been Emmett, but I felt my heart stutter at the name that was actually on my caller ID.

"Hey," I said into the phone.

"I didn't get to say goodbye."

"I'm sorry, it wasn't appropriate with your dad there and I knew I needed to give you both some room to talk."

She huffed, and I could imagine her rolling her eyes in mock annoyance. "Semantics. I needed to say goodnight to you."

"Needed, huh?"

"Yes, needed. And… I also wanted to thank you… for everything. For what happened at the club and staying with me in the hospital and especially for helping me with my dad. You didn't need to do that, but you did and I really appreciate it."

"It wasn't a problem, Bella. I'm glad I could be there for you." We were both silent for a moment, but it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. It just was. "So, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yep, bright and early!" I laughed at Bella's enthusiasm. Then her tone softened. "Goodnight, Edward."

"Goodnight, Bella."

_I love you, _I added silently. I hoped someday I would be able to say the words aloud.

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**A/N: Good, bad, ugly? I know it's not the most intimate or exciting chapter, but it was necessary. As always, thanks for reading!**


	12. A Month of Solitude

**A/N: A million thank yous to m81170 and pwtf for their wonderful beta/pre-reader skills! Enjoy everybody. ^_^**

**To recap****: **_Edward and Bella love each other, but can't do anything about it. They've just acknowledged that they are friends after a night of hell, in which Bella got attacked and nearly raped by James, Rosalie's now ex-fiancé. Unfortunately, they've decided they can only be familiar with each other outside the confines of Forks._

_Alice is Bella's only real friend beside Edward and Jake (who Bella slapped in chapter one for kissing her and hasn't seen since). Alice is responsible for the unsupervised trip to the city and knows she will lose her precious Porsche because of it._

_Last chapter centered on Edward helping Bella tell her father about what happened in Seattle, and the story left off with a phone call from Bella to Edward in which Edward wishes he could tell Bella that he loves her._

_Tanya's a lesbian and has become a good friend of Edward's. Bella does not know this and is only slightly jealous of the strawberry blonde bombshell._

___**Disclaimer**__**:**__ All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

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~*~A Month of Solitude~*~

* * *

**Bella**

The dim light of early morning made it seem as though I were in a different world. Forks was hardly a main thoroughfare, but the eerie quiet that now lay over the town was in a whole different category. As I sat on a bench just outside of the school's main entrance, I took in every falling leaf and every drip of the melting frost from the night before. It was mesmerizing, like witnessing the earth wake from its slumber.

"I figured you'd be here." I might have jumped at Alice's sudden appearance, but I was just too peaceful to be surprised.

"Yeah, I stayed up all night talking to Charlie. With waking up after twelve yesterday and bringing up everything that happened, I couldn't even think about sleeping." I sighed, letting my eyelids flutter shut for a moment. "I'm so tired."

"So… Charlie. How did that go?" Alice asked cautiously. The smile creeping on my face probably told her everything she needed to know.

"A lot better than expected, actually. I was so worried, but you-know-who helped me with the hard part. Charlie wasn't angry at all. Not with me, anyway."

After my call to bid Edward goodnight, my father had met me in my room with a cup of hot tea. Having taken a seat on the floor beside my bed, he let me talk about whatever came to mind, never pushing me in one direction or another, and never judging. I felt almost stupid that I'd thought he might be angry with me, or disappointed, but his ire was reserved for the soulless scum sitting behind bars in Seattle.

It was hard seeing the sadness behind the anger, though, knowing that he thought he should have protected me, if only in teaching me more about the dangers of the city. When I tried to relieve him of his guilt, he only brushed me off and changed the subject.

"You know I love you, right, Bells?" he'd said at one point. "I know I don't say it often enough, but the happiest day of my life was the day you were born."

"I know, Dad," I whispered.

The gesture meant a lot, coming from Charlie. I'd always known he loved me, but hearing him say it the way he did, and with everything that had happened leading up to that moment, tears were unavoidable. It was the first time I could remember crying in front of Charlie without him leaving the room or trying to make it better immediately. He shushed me and stroked my hair, but let me cry for all it was worth.

"I absolutely adore your dad," Alice gushed.

I laughed. "Yeah, I guess he's all right. Why are you here so early, anyway?"

"Are you kidding? I crashed as soon as Jasper dropped me off. I didn't even wait for his text letting me know he got home all right. I was awake hours before I needed to be, so to make Jeffrey's life hell, I made him get up at butt-crack dawn to take me to school."

"They already took it?"

"Called last night."

"Ouch."

Apparently Charlie did more than just brew tea while I was up in my room making a phone call of my own. Mr. and Mrs. Brandon were in Germany on business and had been very upset to be woken before six AM when their meeting wasn't until eleven. Needless to say, when Alice got up the next morning, her car was nowhere to be found.

The staff usually cared for Alice while her parents were away, never interfering in her social life unless directed to by their employer. But directed they were, and Jeffrey was told to hide Alice's car until her sentence was lived out and drive her once more wherever she needed to go. Alice hated being chauffeured, so it was the perfect punishment.

"I begged, bribed, and blackmailed the man into giving me my car back. I mean, I won't tell my parents and I knew he wouldn't, but here I am, stuck with the nondescript, black, luxury sedan driving me around like a patty wagon."

"I'm sorry, Alice." I tried to sound sincere, I really did, but her tirade was extremely comical.

"Yeah, you look sorry." With a heavy sigh, she linked her arm through mine. "It's not your fault. I'm the one who told your dad my parents would be there." That was true enough, but I didn't dare agree with her. "Wait, why aren't you hanging out with Romeo?"

"His car wasn't here yet. Besides, with Charlie on my case and you in driver prison, I'll get to see you even less than I did before."

"This sucks," she pouted. I couldn't have agreed more.

Alice and I no longer shared any classes together, and I was sure I wouldn't be allowed over to her house for at least a few weeks. Our time together would be limited to an hour at lunch, five days a week. With my new found friendship with Edward on hold until we miraculously saw each other in another town, the month of October was turning out to be dismal.

"So, what's the deal with you and him, anyway?" Alice asked once we'd reached her locker. It was obvious she already knew something about it, her being Alice and all, but I decided to give her the whole unfathomable tale anyway.

Something arcane had happened this weekend that validated my feelings for Edward. We claimed our friendship openly, but I could see, in the depths of his translucent eyes, that there was something more between us. I didn't know if it was love, and there was still the issue of Tanya, but the hope building in my heart was impenetrable. I knew I had to fight for him, somehow.

"I just don't know_ how_," I confided to my best friend. "We made a promise that anything in town would be strictly business, and the likelihood of randomly bumping into him in Seattle again is slim to none. Meeting him there this last weekend was a fluke."

"You'll figure it out, Bella. I know you will."

I stared at Alice for a good few seconds before sighing and leaning my head against the locker. She was usually right, and I wished desperately that she was this time, but I couldn't help being impatient for that day to come when Edward and I could be completely uninhibited with each other. My disposition was not made any better by how unfamiliarly we acted in first period.

I got to class early as always, trying not to be excited but failing all together when I spotted him leaning over his desk. Taking a deep breath, I approached him. "Hey, Mr. Cullen."

Edward looked up with a quickness that made my heart race, a small smile edging its way onto the corner of his mouth.

"Bella," he sighed. "How have you been?"

"Oh, same old."

Edward nodded his head and tapped his pen against the many papers spread before him. We stayed like that, awkward and silent, until the class began to fill and I was forced to take my seat. He maintained the role of my teacher and mentor with ease, while I struggled not to smile at him every chance I got, or frown when his gaze traveled past me without a second's hesitation.

By the time LitMag rolled around, my mood was at its peak. Edward smiled at me – as he always did when I entered his classroom – but spent no time on idle chitchat, diving straight into layout designs and preferred font styles. It was unnerving, going from in-depth conversations to minimal contact. I felt like I wanted to cry.

"Hey, Bella?" Angela whispered from the next desk over. "Are you okay?"

"Um, yeah. Just a bit tired is all."

I knew I had to get out of there. I wasn't used to being this emotional, and I couldn't risk breaking down in front of the entire LitMag staff. Gathering my things, I motioned for Edward to come speak with me for a minute.

"Everything all right, Bella?" The concern in his eyes was palpable, but his tone was distant and formal.

"I'm going to head out," I said quietly.

"That's fine; we've got the work covered for today."

I don't know why I expected him to question me more about it, but the fact that he didn't tore at my soul. I cried for fifteen minutes in the parking lot, non-stop sobs rattling my body. When I was finally able to gain control over my emotions, I drove home, ready to fall into bed once I got there and forget today had ever happened. Seeing the VW Rabbit parked in my driveway after school made me want to throw something.

I hadn't been avoiding Jake, per se, but when he stopped calling the first few days after my birthday debacle, I didn't exactly reach out to reestablish the connection. I knew it was wrong. I should have called him. I just didn't know how to face him. He'd become a really great friend over the summer and I missed him, but I didn't want anything romantic. And I felt a little embarrassed over the slap. I'd never hit anyone before that day.

"Hi," I said cautiously, trying to gauge the reason for Jake's visit through his body language. I wasn't doing a very good job of it.

"Hi," he said back, almost startled by my presence. There was no way he hadn't heard my truck pull up, so I was a little confused by his alarm. "I, uh… I was waiting for you."

"I can see that."

"Do you want to take a walk?" No. I did not want to take a walk. I wanted to go up to my room and die for twenty hours.

"I have to make dinner."

"Oh, right." Jake's gaze dropped to the ground where his feet were shuffling back and forth. I grunted lowly to myself, about to be very annoyed with the charitable part of my personality.

"Would you like to come inside while I cook?" His dark eyes brightened as he lifted his head and nodded quickly. "So, what brings you by?"

"Oh, I, um…" Jake stumbled, seemingly trying to search for the right words. I really hoped he wouldn't try to make another move. I wasn't in a great frame of mind and I didn't want to hurt his feelings with rash words. "Charlie told my dad about… well, about Seattle and what, um, happened."

My feet stilled on the way to the kitchen, body tensing in anger and apprehension. The decision to book my therapy sessions in Port Angeles was made to effectively stop the Forks gossip mill from sinking their teeth into anything that wasn't their business. I was having a hard time finding the reason behind that call now that Charlie felt he could blab to whomever he wished.

Jake must have seen the steam billowing from my ears. "They're friends, you know? He just needed someone to talk to, I think. Dad said he was pretty broken up over it."

"He was?" Guilt immediately started warring with irritation, making me even more annoyed that I couldn't decide on only one.

I was angry. If I wanted Jake to know, I would have told him myself. It was none of his business, or his father's, what I went through. Charlie had no right to tell anyone about that night. But even though my father wasn't a very social man, he did have emotions, and I knew from our long talk that he was dealing with some heavy ones. Of course he would need to talk to someone.

"Yeah, I kind of overheard the conversation and got the rest from my dad. I can be pretty persistent," Jake smiled at me. I was pretty sure he was trying to make a joke about our last encounter; I didn't see the humor.

"Well, I'm okay. You didn't have to come all the way over here."

"Because you would have answered the phone, right?" I sucked in a sharp breath and glared at the massive boy leaning on the counter before digging in the cabinet for spices I needed.

"I would have," I said stubbornly. Jake raised an eyebrow. "I would have! I just hadn't gotten around to calling you. Sorry for the inconvenience."

"You were avoiding me."

"I was not. I was mad at first, but you stopped trying to get a hold of me and a lot has happened since then. Calling you wasn't my top priority."

"What was so important you couldn't pick up a phone?"

"Gee, I don't know: LitMag, school, getting lost in the woods, being in—" I cut myself off with a small cry. What was it about sleep deprivation that removed the brain-to-mouth filter?

"Did you hurt yourself again?" I could hear the laugh in Jake's voice, but couldn't find it in me to be offended. Him focusing on my clumsy nature was far better than him working out the rest of "in love with my teacher."

"Look," he continued when I didn't respond. "You're one of my best friends, Bella. I should have been there for you to talk to. And how did you get lost in the woods?"

"None of your business," I snapped. Even in my bleary mind I knew I was being a tad more defensive than necessary. Jake had become one of my best friends as well, and I let a stupid kiss get between us. Granted, he had no right to touch me like that, but it was my choice to let our friendship fall by the wayside.

"Bella, please. What can I do? I didn't mean to ruin this. I miss you." Guilt finally won out over anger, and my shoulders slumped as I turned to face Jake with a sad smile.

"Yeah, I miss you, too. I'm sorry. I'm just really tired right now." A grin lit up his face, and I turned to take out the chicken from the freezer, hiding my own growing smile. "I see you're done reassembling your car."

"Yep. And, you know, if you hadn't been avoiding me, I could have told you that I have a few customers now."

"Well, if you hadn't kissed me, I wouldn't have been avoiding you," I chided playfully. Silence made me look up from the microwave settings to see a smirk on Jake's face.

"So you _were_ avoiding me." Damn. I was never talking to him without an ample amount of sleep ever again.

"Shut it, you." This time I actually tried to sound intimidating, but my obvious amusement gave me away.

"Anyway, it's not legit or anything, but I work on their cars and they pay me half of what a licensed mechanic would charge."

"Jake, that's really awesome. I'm so happy for you," I said over my shoulder as I opened the fridge. Upon seeing its contents I scowled.

There, sitting on the second shelf where I had left them, were the leftover plates I'd made for Charlie to eat while I was away. I stood up straight with a huff, but didn't move otherwise. I had made those plates up for a reason, and it wasn't to be ignored while Charlie went out and ate greasy diner food.

"Everything okay, Bella?"

"Huh?" I turned to see Jake directly beside me and went a bit dizzy at his proximity. "Oh, yeah. Do you mind if we catch up later, Jake? I'm ready to crash."

"You going to answer the phone?" I frowned in indignation while Jacob laughed. "All right, I'll see you later," he said, offering me a hug that lasted a little longer than necessary.

I cooked dinner on autopilot, thinking over all that had happened with enormous difficulty. It was as though my brain was trying to swim through gelatin.

The Jacob encounter brought up every excuse I had for not seeing him in so long. Not wanting to deal with him had been part of it, but I couldn't deny the truth of how busy my life had gotten in the past month. There was so much action, I was sure I could sell it as a script for day time soaps. When had I become so interesting?

My mind moved onto the next item on the agenda and I sighed. I was not looking forward to confronting Charlie, but it needed to be done. And as if he knew I was thinking about him, Charlie came through the front door, hanging his holster on the rack in the corner.

"Something smells good."

"It might even taste good," I said, plating the food. "You know, like the other food I cooked that's still sitting in the fridge."

I looked up just in time to see Dad scratch his chin, his eyes narrowed in defense and skepticism. "I went fishing with some of the guys this weekend. Had fish fry most of the time."

My mouth dropped open. "Fish fry? That's even worse than diner food!"

Charlie looked affronted and took up his police chief stance. "Now listen, Bella. Betty makes a damn good burger—"

"You ate diner food, too." It wasn't a question, but statement of resignation. "Dad, that stuff is not good for you. Do you want to end up like Harry?"

Both irritated and seemingly remorseful over my reprimand, Charlie said sternly, "I love you, Bella, but it's none of your business what I eat."

"Sure, and it will be none of my business when you have a heart attack and I have to bury you," I snapped. "I'm going to bed. Here's your chicken."

I felt terrible for laying into Charlie the way I did. He was my father and I had no right to dictate his actions, but I cared if he was around for a while, and at the rate he was going—

"Not so fast, Isabella."

I cringed at the bottom step. It would have been so easy to just continue up the stairs to where my soft, warm bed was calling for me, but the use of my full name was not a common occurrence; I'd be damned if I would give Charlie a legitimate excuse to hold me hostage. I turned to see a somewhat sheepish look on my dad's face, which did not at all match his tone. I groaned loudly at his next words.

"I know you're tired, so I'm going to let this attitude go, but you, um… you need to go call your mother."

"You didn't!"

"She had a right to know, Bella. She's worried, so you should probably do it now before she decides to hop on a plane. I already talked her out of it once. I don't think I could do it again."

Charlie didn't wait for my answer, returning to the kitchen the second he got out what he needed to say. _Coward._

Renee's frantic voice came over the receiver at once, and it took me nearly an hour to calm her down. When she was finally satisfied that I was okay, she started in on how life was and if I was interested in anyone at school.

That question made me pause.

I found myself really wanting my mother's advice. I knew there was no possible way I could bring myself to tell her about Edward, but if I could just hypothetically give her the scenario… I shook my head and sighed. She would know, of course, that I was talking about myself, and I could never put Edward in danger like that.

It was past nine by the time I finally got to bed, and I slept straight through the night. Waking up the next morning was the first time in a very long time that I dreaded going to school. I didn't want to pretend like Edward didn't mean anything to me. I didn't want to fit all of my Alice time into one measly hour. What I wanted was to fast-forward my life, but they hadn't invented that kind of technology yet.

"So, wait… we're friends with him again?" Alice questioned before popping a grape into her mouth.

"We weren't _not_ friends. I was just overreacting."

"Yeah, well, I guess we can start hanging with the pooch again."

I gave Jasper a look and rolled my eyes when Alice wasn't looking. He grinned and shook his head. Alice didn't hate Jacob, but she wasn't exactly fond of him either; she basically tolerated him for Jasper's and my sake.

The lunch bell rang a few minutes later and I felt my entire body go limp in defeat. Just like yesterday, Edward had ignored me in AP Lang, and in just a few more hours he would do it again for LitMag.

I had expected it to get easier as the days went by, but I was wrong. Every time Edward's eyes moved past me without acknowledgment, I felt a small piece of my heart shatter. Every time I left Alice at lunch, my stomach clenched. It was getting harder and harder not to tell my mom what was going on every night she called to check up on me. I couldn't even tell my therapist because, honestly, I didn't trust the woman. She was good for talking about certain things, but Edward was not one of them.

After a rather nasty day of ignored hopes and dashed dreams, Alice found me lying flat on my bed, staring at the wall and wishing it would swallow me whole. I hadn't even heard her come in, so I nearly jumped out of my skin when a pile of clothes fell on me from above.

"It's not even my birthday. You have no excuse this time," I said after my heart had calmed.

Alice raised an eyebrow and plucked a shoe from the pile, gesturing to the rest of the items with it. "You think I'd buy you a plain red t-shirt and mustard yellow leggings for any reason other than Halloween?"

"What exactly were you planning me to go as? Bart Simpson with his pants down?"

The corner of Alice's mouth quirked up, as she was apparently entertained by the idea. "No, but I might save that for next year. You're going as Pooh Bear."

Even in my funk, it was hard not to be delighted by the idea of a night out with friends. Biting my lip, I looked through the remaining items on my lap — the twin to the mustard-colored Chuck Taylor Alice was still waving around; a satchel cleverly disguised as a pot of honey; the aforementioned shirt and leggings with another long-sleeved shirt, but yellow like the pants; Winnie the Pooh ears on a headband — and then grinned up at my best friend.

"Okay, I'm in. What are we doing? Party? Haunted House? Passing out candy?"

"Trick-or-treating," she said proudly. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. When I realized it wasn't, I laughed harder.

"You realize of course that you're the only one of us who could pass for a child."

Alice clicked her tongue in mock umbrage. "It's not like we're thirty. Besides, there's a certain neighborhood I think you'd be interested in hitting up." When I said nothing, Alice plopped down on the edge of the bed, tilting her head and looking up at me through her eyelashes. "Bella. We know where Mr. Cullen lives."

For a split second, the excitement was almost enough to make me explode. But reality came crashing down and I found myself collapsing back onto my bed in utter hopelessness.

"It won't work." I was perfectly aware that my tone was empty,_ like the hollowed shaft of a bottomless pit_. And, yes, I was also aware that I was being melodramatic. I made a note to remember that line for one of my writings.

"Says who?"

"Says the universe," I practically whined. "This is me we're talking about, Alice. If I go against Edward's wishes and try to see him in Forks, someone up there is going to strike me down. And I really don't think I'd be able to get up this time."

Alice sighed and took my hand in hers. "You're drowning, Bella."

"I'm not—"

"You are. And it kills me to see you like this. You need to be with him, even if for just five minutes, outside of school. This is the only thing I could think of that doesn't scream, 'lover's rendezvous.'"

I laughed a little at Alice's terminology, but wasn't completely convinced. "What if this makes me look immature to him, or clingy? I don't want to push him away. And he might not even be there! If I get my hopes up—"

"So tell him." I gaped at Alice. She made it seem so simple. "Just hint at him that you might be stopping by on Halloween. There's no harm in trying, Bella."

No, there was no harm in trying, I supposed. Except for Jake and Jasper finding out how into my teacher I was. But I couldn't let that stop me. It wasn't as though I would jump into his arms the second he opened the door. My mind created a tornado of conflicting thoughts all the way into LitMag the next day.

He spotted me immediately, but I couldn't let him speak if I wanted to go through with my plan. "So, what are you doing for Halloween?"

Edward's smile disappeared. I could feel the panic rising in my chest, but I wouldn't stop now. I needed this. His voice was low and warning when he spoke next.

"Bella, we can't—"

"Because my friends have convinced me to go trick-or-treating. We might hit up some of the apartments near the elementary school," I said in a rush.

We stayed silent for an immeasurable amount of time, and I could read nothing from Edward's expression. Was he angry? Was he excited? Was he worried or just trying to find a way to let me down easy?

Finally, he said, "There's a horror-fest on HBO this year, so I'm going to stay in." I nodded and bit my lip, unsure if this was all the confirmation I would get. "And, um... and I pass out really good candy. I mean, anyone who doesn't stop by my place is seriously missing out."

I didn't get a chance to respond, but I was sure the smile on my face spoke volumes. Edward didn't return the gesture. I hoped he wasn't regretting his decision to meet me at his door, but I wouldn't let his reaction crush my spirit. Unless he did something to stop me, I was going to get some unrestricted time with Edward.

Charlie was an absolute terror the next few weeks. I'd tried to gently introduce the idea of me going to Port Angeles for some new books, but his answer was a resounding no. The addition of Alice attending me on my trip made that no set in stone. I wasn't even allowed to go grocery shopping alone. If Jake or my dad were free, they would take me, but more often than not, Sue Clearwater would come by with everything I needed for dinner.

I had finally reached my breaking point when, after a month of suggested house arrest, Charlie insisted I stay home on Halloween.

"I'm eighteen, Dad! If I want to go out with my friends, I can go out with my friends."

"Not on my watch. Halloween is the most dangerous ni—"

"In Forks? Really, Dad? I find that hard to believe."

We were currently at a stand-still, him blocking the door with his arms crossed and me not willing to move until he let me out of the house.

"You'd be surprised the stuff I've seen over the years, Bella. I don't feel comfortable with you going out tonight."

"And I will go crazy if I don't. So you have a choice. Trust me to be safe with two guys you know or send me off to the loony bin."

Charlie sighed a little, narrowing his eyes. "You're being overdramatic."

"You're being overprotective," I shot back.

After a short, tension-filled pause, Charlie turned on his heel and grabbed his keys on his way out the door. "Fine, but I'm driving you."

Smiling triumphantly, I listened without interruption to Charlie's repeated instructions about safety. I had a can of pepper spray and my cell phone in my honey-pot purse, and I was not to hesitate in using either in case of emergency. It wasn't long before we arrived at the high school – Alice's designated meet point – and I left my dad with a quick "thank you."

"Took you long enough," Jake teased lightly.

"Yeah, well, the warden was having a hard time letting go."

"So, are you ready?" Alice asked, the private meaning in her words hitting me like a freight train. I opened my mouth to say yes, but not a sound was made. "We don't have to, you know," she said more quietly.

"No," I hurried to say. "I need to see him."

Alice grinned and turned to Jasper, jumping up and down in her scantily clad Tigger costume. It was entertaining to say the least, especially with Jasper's Rabbit costume adding to the picture. The houses we stopped at seemed to think so as well. One woman even asked for us to take a picture with her daughter, the cutest little Piglet I'd ever seen.

When we finally turned the corner of the elementary school and Edward's apartment complex came into sight, my feet moved faster of their own accord. I was sure I seemed more like a child than I had the entire night, but it wasn't candy I was eager for.

It took merely a few seconds for Edward to open the door.

"Bella," he smiled brightly. He looked me over, and I could see the secret hello in his eyes before he turned to greet the rest of our group, his demeanor shifting just slightly when he took in Jake and his impromptu Eeyore costume. "Black."

"Cullen," Jake responded, masking his dislike far less than Edward.

Alice twirled around and cocked her head, gesturing to the display of masculinity. Even Jasper shared in our confusion.

"You guys look great," Edward said, smiling once more at me. "Everyone loves Winnie the Pooh, right?"

I blushed. "That was the idea."

We all stood awkwardly at the door for a moment. I wasn't sure what I could say, and Edward seemed to be waiting for something. Finally, Jasper broke in with, "We hear you have king-sized Snickers. You're not trying to hold out on us, are you, Mr. Cullen?"

Edward shook his head, his grin growing. "Have you guys forgotten how to trick-or-treat? I need the magic words."

I rolled my eyes as Edward's crinkled in the corners. He was such a goof sometimes, but I loved him all the more for it.

We said our piece loudly and obnoxiously while Edward reached inside to grab a bowl. One by one he gave us our candy bars, deciding to shoot Jasper's like a basketball and bow to Alice as he presented hers. When he pulled out a king sized package of Reeses, I grinned like the cat that ate the canary. He knew my favorite. And then his hand brushed mine, and my heart sped in my chest. That was definitely intentional.

"Well, we have to go now. Thanks for the candy," Jake said as he walked off. Alice and Jasper followed hesitantly, but I refused to leave without saying something, anything, for just Edward.

"I miss you," I said quietly.

He sighed and leaned against the doorjamb. "I know what you mean. I've seen you all month, and yet I haven't seen you at all."

"Thank God," I chuckled. "You seemed to be taking it so much better than I was. I was sure I was going crazy or something."

Edward smiled. "Nah, I just have a good poker face is all. But, um…" He trailed off nervously. I nodded slightly to let him know that he could talk to me. "You know, we—"

"Bella, hurry up! We aren't waiting around all night!" I growled at Jake's intrusion, yelled over the balcony that I was coming, and then turned back to Edward, urging him to continue.

"It was nothing, Bella. Go have fun with your friends."

I sighed. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow, huh?"

"Yeah," Edward said sadly. "Back to being the Teacher."

Every cell in my body wanted to scream in refusal. I didn't want to go back to that place where I would wonder if my relationship with Edward was merely a figment of my imagination. There was nothing I could do; we had to go back.

"Bye, Ed— sorry." I shook my head and looked down at the ground. "Goodbye, Mr. Cullen."

"Bye, Bella."

I scowled hard at Jake when I got downstairs. It didn't affect him in the slightest.

"I don't like that guy."

I snorted. "Yeah, I could tell."

"What's up with that, man? Mr. Cullen is a cool teacher," Jasper said, turning backwards to face us as we walked.

"He just rubs me the wrong way. He wouldn't even shake my hand when I went to pick Bella up from school that time, and then at the store—" Jacob cut himself off abruptly with a small grunt, glancing quickly down at me.

"You have to say it now," Alice advised with a cocky smirk. "You've already blown it."

"I ran into the guy at the store is all. I asked him what he was doing in Seattle with students and—"

"I'm sorry, you did what?" I was appalled. Had Jake actually accused Edward of taking us to the club?

"You have to admit, it's pretty fishy," Jake countered defensively. "And then he turns out to be the hero?"

"Because he _was_ the hero, you jerk. If he hadn't been there, I would probably be dead!"

"Jeez. Relax, Bella. It's not that big of a deal." I gaped at Jacob's unconcerned attitude. He'd just admitted to accusing the man who saved my life with putting me in the situation to begin with and he wanted me to relax?

I breathed out heavily through my nose and stormed off in the direction of the high school. Behind me, I could hear Jake calling my name and Alice taunting him with my stubborn temper. I didn't care about either. I was pissed. What if someone had heard? We were trying to keep this all as quiet as possible and Jake has to go and play devil's advocate? I wanted to murder him!

Alice caught up with me a minute later, urging me to slow down with a hand on my elbow. When I looked behind, I could see the boys walking at a snail's pace – most likely Jasper's choice to give us privacy and not Jake's.

"I can't believe he would do that," I said quietly.

"Even I'm at a loss as to what he was thinking. The mutt's a nuisance." I smirked at Alice, shaking my head. Normally, I would have tried to get her to be nice, but I was just too angry to demand civility between the two.

It was a moment before I said, "Do you think he took it personally? Romeo, I mean. Do you think this will affect what we have?"

"I doubt it," Alice said dryly. "The man's in love with you."

"Alice," I groaned. "You can't know that."

"I can have an opinion!" I giggled a little at Alice's justification… and maybe a little at the thought of Edward actually feeling the same way as me. When the humor died down, my melancholy came rushing back, and I sighed.

"I thought it would make me feel better."

"It didn't?"

"Well, it did a little," I admitted. "But now I have a taste and I want more. It's like getting one of those sample spoons at an ice cream shop and not being able to buy a scoop. I want a damn scoop."

"Then get a scoop," Alice laughed, clearly amused by my analogy. "Or two or three."

"And how exactly am I supposed to do that? I already told you: Unless I miraculously meet Romeo somewhere outside of Forks—"

"Who says it has to be miraculous?" I don't know why I opened my mouth to respond; I had absolutely nothing to say to that. "He was game for this little set up, so why don't you try to do it on a bigger scale? You've been trying to hit Port Angeles for weeks to get books. This is the perfect time."

"Except Charlie won't let me out of the house." Even to my own ears that sounded like a weak excuse; Alice only raised her eyebrow and smiled encouragingly. "Okay, oh wise one. How do we pull this off?"

Alice grinned and pulled me to her car, talking a mile a minute and expecting me to keep up.

I had to hand it to my best friend, she was a genius. The plan was undeniably brilliant. And I was undeniably petrified. As well-thought-out as everything seemed to be, there was still so much that could go wrong.

_Why am I doing this? This is ridiculous. I should turn back now and pretend like nothing happened,_ I thought, edging my way to the door of Edward's classroom.

But it was too late.

"Bella, you forgot this," Edward said, walking toward me.

I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath before turning around with a complacent smile. "No, I didn't."

"But you're the only one here and this is your handwriting," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, though in all honesty, it was.

I hummed. "What does it say?"

"What do you—" Edward looked down, seemingly annoyed by my nonchalant dismissal, "November sixth: Book shopping in Port Angeles, stop for coffee at…" he trailed off and swallowed. "Is this…?"

"Oh, that's my planner!" I laughed, fake enthusiasm accenting my speech along with a slight tremor. "Thank you for reminding me. You know, if someone were to have found this, they would know everywhere I'm going to be tomorrow. I'm glad it didn't fall into the wrong hands."

Edward nodded and handed it over. I knew I was being exceedingly transparent, but I needed to be sure he understood. By the apprehension in his eyes and the pallor in his cheeks, I knew he did. I only wished I knew if that was a good thing.

Only time would tell, I supposed. I walked out the door and prayed for the strength to make it through tomorrow.

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**A/N: Thank you to all who review, favorite, alert, PM and pester me until I update! You don't know how much I love you all. To show my appreciation, I've posted a bit of this chapter from Edward's POV in the companion Outtakes story. Go ahead and check it out and thanks for reading!**


	13. Marking Uncharted Territory

**A/N: ****As most know, my computer crashed. As in dead. It's in computer heaven, and sadly so are several of my stories. I'm an idiot and did not back up my work. I recently got my mojo back, so here's the long awaited chapter. I hope you like it.**

**A million thanks to the always-wonderful pwtf and m81170 for looking over this bad boy and telling me I suck when I suck.**

_**Disclaimer**__**:**__ All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

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~*~Marking Uncharted Territory~*~

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**Edward**

There was something thoroughly exciting about sneaking off to Port Angeles. My palms were sweating and my chest was pounding in anticipation. It felt dangerous. My foot tensed against the gas pedal, and I had to physically force myself to calm down. In all honestly, it _was_ dangerous—not only for me, but for Bella as well.

I was about to willingly cross a boundary I'd placed. It was stupid for me to meet her, but the thought of her sitting alone in some café, waiting, wondering…. I just couldn't find it within myself to stand her up. I was wrapped around her finger so tightly I could barely think of anything but her—her happiness, her eyes, her kittenish fury, her lips, her hopes and dreams, her body….

I groaned through pursed lips and rolled my eyes at myself. It was becoming more difficult to ignore my baser urges where Bella was concerned. The more and more I fought, the more my libido took me to that place. I wondered briefly at what Bella would think of my secret desires and a thrill shot through my body. The feeling scared the shit out of me.

Something had changed. The fear of Bella's disgust had once been all I'd needed to move on from my silly fantasies of being able to love her openly. Now, I was taking brazen steps to see her in public; I was hoping for more before it was time. I was screwing myself into a position that would be damn near impossible to get out of, yet my hesitation was far surpassed by the tumult of giddy emotions swirling within me.

I was an idiot. I should have stayed home. I should have told her right away that we couldn't see each other. I should have never let this happen. But I did.

It was taking me longer to find the small establishment than I'd guessed it would. I glanced at the clock and cringed, half-hoping Bella would still be there and half-hoping she'd given up and gone home. My hopes were simultaneously answered and dashed when I pulled in and spotted the monstrosity Bella paraded around as a truck.

Excitement gave way to nervousness as I parked. This wasn't a date in the romantic sense, but my stomach still tensed and fluttered at the thought. After graduation, I would be able to take Bella anywhere my heart desired. If she let me, of course.

A tiny, nagging doubt entered my mind. I was almost positive Bella felt something for me, but my insecurities raged. For the twenty seconds before I turned the corner to the café, vision after vision flooded my mind of rejection and disappointment, and then my worry left me at the sight of a tiny, brown-haired girl at the farthest table, her lips and brow twisted in thought while she picked at a paper napkin. Even in her anxious state, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

"This place is hard to find," I said once I'd reached her.

A soft blush tinted her cheeks and the corners of her mouth turned up just slightly. When she looked up at me, her smile grew, lighting her face. "You're here," she said breathlessly. She was contagious, and before long, I was smiling widely without any conscious decision to do so.

"May I join you?" I asked.

Bella nodded her head and rested her cheek on her propped arm, staring at me with a sparkle in her eye. "You're late."

"I'm sorry. I got a late start, and trying to find this place was a feat in and of itself."

"I thought it would be better for our," Bella glanced off to the side, seemingly embarrassed, "situation. Starbucks is overrated anyway."

She sipped her coffee while I chuckled. "I agree. This place is nice."

"So," she said after taking a breath and eyeing me carefully, "you seem… happy."

"I am. I blame you."

Bella grinned. "Why me?"

_Because you're everything I could ever want in a woman_, I thought to myself. "You helped me see what I was missing. I wouldn't have my sister back if it weren't for you."

For the next half hour, I regaled Bella with what had become of my life over the past several weeks. Rosalie was different from how I had remembered her. She was still tenacious, bossy, and extremely vain, but the naïve optimism of childhood had been replaced by skepticism and steady determination. I also recognized distinct traits I hadn't seen since before our parents' death. I wasn't sure if Rosalie was aware, but she seemed to be turning into our mother.

Bella laughed as I told her of the comparison.

Twice now, not including the first disastrous weekend, Emmett and I had made the drive up to Seattle. I hadn't really needed him as I had at first, but Rosalie was adamant that I bring him along and Emmett wasn't at all put off by the invitation. He and Rosalie were getting along famously.

I had been sure he would buck at my need to be home for Halloween, but he merely shrugged and suggested we drive up separately. I knew I had given him the green light to pursue my sister, but the thought of them being alone in an apartment together really got under my skin.

"I'm not happy about him staying here," I had confided to Tanya. Emmett and Rosalie had gone on a run to her old apartment for more boxes, while Tanya and I unloaded the kitchen into her new house.

"I thought you said they were good for each other."

"They are, I just…. Don't you think they're moving too fast? It's only been a month."

"That's not your call to make, Edward. Rosalie has needs tha—"

"Oh, gross! I really do not need to hear this." I had set down the plate I was unwrapping and walked out of the kitchen with raised hands.

Tanya had only laughed at my discomfort and followed me to the couch. "Will you relax? I meant she needs to feel loved. For her, not for who James wanted her to be. She's not ready for _that_, but I do think she and Emmett are ready to spend some time together. You know, unsupervised by her little brother?"

"I don't want either of them to get hurt." Rosalie was coming out of a traumatizing relationship and Emmett had always avoided women with baggage at all costs. I wanted them to be happy, but they seemed to be getting way to deep in such a short time.

"You can't protect them. They are adults and they can make their own decisions," Tanya had reminded me. "Besides, you have your own problems to worry about. When are you going to ask out Bella?"

"Will you stop it?" I'd hissed in annoyance. "I'm not asking her anything. We're friends. That's it."

"Friends when you're not in Forks. You really think you can last without any sort of communication?"

"We communicate," I'd said shortly.

"Yeah, because talking about which poems go on which page is definitely on par with telling her what she means to you." I had glared at Tanya, but she'd continued, unfazed. "You're gonna crack."

"I will not crack," I had said, my frustration creeping into my voice. Tanya was the most relentlessly pushy woman I had ever known, and that was saying something with a sister like Rosalie.

"You already have, my friend. You already have." Smiling sweetly, she had patted my knee before leaving me alone to stew.

She had been right of course. I'd cracked so many times it was a wonder I hadn't completely shattered. With meeting Bella on Halloween and then meeting her now at the café, I was surely doomed.

I told Bella of my disagreement with Tanya, leaving out the part where she was involved. "That woman just has a way of irritating every bone in my body. I love her for what she did for my sister, and she really is a good friend, but sometimes I wish she'd just butt out. To make matters worse, Rose came in then and poked fun at me for brooding. She asked me if Mom had caught me using her make-up as war paint again, because apparently I'm still ten years old in her eyes."

Bella coughed to cover her merriment. "Strangely enough, I can picture you smearing lipstick across your cheeks."

"You wouldn't be laughing if you'd been a young boy forced to sit through a two-hour Mary-Kay party," I said as seriously as I could manage. I wanted to smile at the memory, even though I had been sure at the time I was going to be scarred for life. "I have to confess, however, that I never did rifle through my mother's make-up again."

"I wish I could have met her," Bella said wistfully. "She sounds really fun."

"She was. She would have liked you, too."

Bella smiled shyly and then busied herself with picking at her napkin again. Very casually, she said, "So, despite her annoying you, it seems like you and Tanya have hit it off."

I smirked, baffled by Bella's poorly concealed displeasure. I couldn't fathom Bella being jealous of the very obtrusive and very gay Tanya Hutton, but then I _was_ fond of the woman and Bella wasn't privy to her sexuality. It delighted me in some perverse way that Bella would care enough to be jealous.

"We have," I told her honestly. "Tanya was there for Rose when I couldn't be, and despite her overbearing personality, she means well. Small doses, though. I don't think I could handle her more than I do now." Bella nodded, and I hoped that was enough to ease her worries.

"How, um… how is Rose?" Bella asked. So far, we had stayed well away from anything pertaining to what had happened in Seattle, but I knew it would need to come up eventually.

"She's… Rose," I said with a chuckle. "She's determined to get through this without seeing a professional, but she's not ignoring that it happened, so that's something. Most of the time she's officious, sarcastic, or angry; I think she likes the confrontation. It keeps her mind busy and gives her an outlet. Other times, she's incredibly meek, like a little girl. It's hard seeing her like that, but I know she'll be okay eventually. As I said, she's Rose.

"You should have seen her on Halloween." I snorted at the memory. "She railed into me for not telling her I was leaving sooner, all because she bought steaks for dinner."

"You could have called," Bella said. "I would have understood."

"I know." I smiled and let my fingers trace the diamond cutouts in the tabletop. "But I'm selfish. I wanted to see you."

"Really?" Bella bit her lip, smiling shyly. "I thought I was being entirely selfish. I even told Alice that the heavens would smite me if I went through with it."

I laughed but wasn't entirely amused. Being struck down by God's almighty wrath was a genuine fear of mine. "I know the feeling," I said wryly. "Speaking of how people are dealing with what happened, what about you? How's therapy?"

Bella shrugged and tilted her head down, focusing her eyes on her coffee. "It's okay, I guess. It's not the most comfortable of things, but I understand why I should go."

"I'm just glad you're talking to someone." I took a preparatory breath before saying, "Have you told anyone what happened? Besides your therapist, I mean."

Pink flooded Bella's cheeks and her eyes shot to mine. "No," she said adamantly, "and I am so sorry about Jacob. The fact that he knows really makes me angry, but what he did to you… I didn't even know about that until after we left your apartment." I felt my shoulders release their tension. I hadn't been sure why Bella would tell Black about her brush with fate, but the speculation had been driving me crazy. Now that I knew she hadn't told him at all, I felt almost blissful.

"What was he thinking, confronting you like that?" Her voice was steadily rising and her gestures became more animated as she talked. I placed my fist at my mouth to stifle a laugh. Her ire had always been more entertaining than scary. "If you hadn't been there, who knows what could have happened? You're a hero! You don't see people going around and accusing Superman of being the bad guy. They kind of do with Spiderman, but that's beside the point. You rescued me and he's acting like some… some… some pig-headed jerk!"

A giggle escaped my hold before I could stop it, followed by a snort, and then full-blown laughter. It took a moment for me to regain my composure, and when I did, she said, "I don't know what you find so funny. This is serious."

I was still chuckling as I took in Bella's appalled indignation and had to work very hard to stave off the next bout of hilarity. "You're right," I said. "I'm sorry."

"Uh-huh." She didn't believe me for a second. "And if someone believes Jake and you get fired, all of these crappy rules will have been for nothing. I'm not torturing myself for my own entertainment here. There's a reason, and I thought you'd be a little more understanding."

I sighed and reached across the table, trapping Bella's hand within my own. "I am, Bella. I get it. I just don't want this to ruin the little time we have together."

"Do you think…?" Bella bit her lip and then blew out a short breath. "Will we be able to see each other before graduation or is this it?"

I felt my heart clench but smiled as best I could. "It's not that far away. Seven months and we can see each other all we want."

"Seven months," Bella whispered. "I can do that. I just have to remember that you're acting when you treat me like I'm not really there."

My smile faded. "Is that what you think, that I don't care about you? Bella, you're… my best friend," I said lamely, not knowing how else to get across how much she meant to me. "This thing that I do, when I pretend like you're just another student, it's only because I have to. It kills me to see how much I hurt you every damn day, but I can't help it. I can't ruin your life."

"You could never ruin my life," she said softly, her eyes sad but also relieved in a way. "You are the biggest part of it. I couldn't imagine not being… your friend."

"Me, neither." The emotions were getting a little heavy, so I steered the conversation in a different direction. "How are you doing on scholarships? Did you hear back from any of the ones you applied to last year?"

She shook her head and sighed. "No, and if I don't get any, I can't pay for school, and if I can't pay for school, I'm going to end up working at the local Quickie Mart for the next ten years."

"Don't talk like that. You're going to Dartmouth. That's what you want and that's what you'll get," I said, stroking my thumb across the back of her hand. I had told Bella once that I didn't really need the income from teaching, but she didn't know exactly how wealthy I was. I could easily pay for her college and support her for the rest of our lives.

Bella smiled at me, her eyes conveying her amusement. "You are so sure I'm getting in, and acceptance letters are months out."

"You're really good," I said. Bella looked off to the side and shook her head. "I know you don't believe me, but you are."

"What are you doing for Thanksgiving?" she asked suddenly, not even trying to be subtle in shifting the conversation away from herself. She always did this when I complimented her, but I let it drop.

We talked about everything and nothing. Bella fell in love with a new book last week. I was on the losing end of a fight with a jar of pickles last night. Bella's mother just started a new hobby… again. Rosalie had once convinced me to play makeover with her, resulting in the birth of Antoinette—I had luckily found and destroyed all pictures of me in drag.

I was listening intently to Bella's narration of one summer's disastrous fishing trip when I heard a slight buzzing noise. I tried to ignore it, but the damn thing was persistent.

"Do you hear that?" I asked her. She paused long enough to hear it, and her smile faded along with the color in her cheeks. "Bella, what's wrong?"

She pulled her hand from mine to dig around in her backpack, pulling out her cell phone a moment later. Bella grimaced as Charlie Swan's muffled voice streamed through the receiver.

"I know, Dad," she said softly. "No, I was just reading…. Yes, I know, but…. I had my phone on vibrate…." Bella sighed and placed her forehead in her hand. "Let me just pay for the books and I'll be on my way." The Chief's voice carried on for a few more seconds before Bella said a quick goodbye and hung up the phone.

"I can't take it," she said, her voice edging on hysteria. "I know he's worried, but this is ridiculous. I've driven up here more times than I can count and nothing has ever happened."

"It'll get better," I said, and then stumbled over, "And, you know… if it gets to be too much, I'm still your teacher. You can, uh, come to me if you need to."

Bella's face relaxed into a grateful smile. "Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me."

_I think I have an idea_, I thought and, smiling, said, "You're leaving then?"

"Yeah. I told Charlie I'd be back by three and it's fifteen till."

I noticed Bella swallow nervously and lick her lips before she reached out to grab my hand. I hadn't realized until now that I was usually the one to initiate our small touches, and her gesture made my heart race.

"Would you like to come with me to the book store? It's just around the corner," she said, gauging my reaction carefully. Judging by her rigid posture, Bella actually seemed to think I would deny her anything.

"I'd love to," I told her, and the smile she gave me was breathtaking.

Watching Bella peruse the shelves was another small gift. The bookshop was nothing more than a hole in the wall. Large windows shed light on the tiny dust specs in the air and bounced golden rays from Bella's hair like a halo. She ran her fingers over the spines with such delicate attention, secret smiles gracing her lips, meant only for the books she was eyeing.

I didn't understand what it was about her that was so enthralling. I had seen beautiful girls all my life and had never once reacted the way I did with her. I had met intelligent women and had intelligent conversations, never being so completely captivated by their every word. I had liked my fair share of the opposite sex, but never had I felt a love so pure, so passionate, as what I felt for Bella.

"Oh! I love this one," Bella said, pulling a thin book from the shelf. "My mom used to read this to me every night before bed."

I walked up behind her and peered down at The Velveteen Rabbit. I had liked that story growing up, as well. She turned quickly, not having heard me come over, and lost her balance with a squeak when she ran into me. I caught her around the waist and laughed. "You can't go anywhere without some sort of catastrophe, can you?"

"You totally caused this one!" she cried indignantly.

I straightened her out, and then backed away with my hands raised, still smirking like an idiot. She rolled her eyes and continued shopping, tossing me puckish glances every now and again.

The store had a number of trinkets on the register counter for purchase. I snickered at coming across a bracelet with "Safety" written across the longest bead and seriously considered buying it for her, but as I examined the rest, I found one that read "Someday."

Someday, Bella would be at Dartmouth, on her way to becoming an author or a journalist. Someday, all her dreams would come true and I could be there to see it all happen. Someday, I would be able to share my life with her without the threat of society and morality bearing down on us.

Bella joined me just as the clerk handed me my change and I slyly tucked the bracelet into my back pocket. We walked at a slow pace to the parking lot. I didn't want our time together to end, yet I couldn't find the words to say so. Perhaps it was better that way. The seven months would be hard enough without me adding to it.

"This is me," Bella said, shifting awkwardly beside her truck. "I guess I'll see you at school."

I nodded solemnly, then retrieved the bracelet and fingered the beads. "I, uh, bought you this. It's not much, but I hope you'll wear it."

Bella took the bracelet from my hand and a smile lifted her lips as she mouthed the inscribed word. "Thank you. I love it."

I helped her attach the two ends, and then smoothed it over her wrist, relishing what little contact I could get. The bracelet looked good—not in a fashionable way, but in the way it made me feel to see it on her. I was leaving my mark, and she was choosing to wear it proudly.

I clenched my fists as I turned from her. Meeting her today had been a double-edged sword; we had been free to act however we wished with each other, but going back to a minimal relationship would be more difficult than I could have imagined.

"Edward, wait!" I stopped and reversed my steps, asking Bella what was the matter. She laughed nervously and shook her head. "Nothing, it's only… I said you were my best friend, but there's more to it than that. I… jeez, this is hard."

I smiled slightly and bumped her hand with mine to show her that it was only me; she could tell me anything. She seemed grateful, smiling up at me with her bottom lip between her teeth. "You're kind of amazing, you know that?" she said.

"I do my best," I teased.

"I… I like you, Edward. A lot. Definitely more than I should, and I understand if you don't… have feelings for me that way. I mean, I'm younger than you, and I'm your student, and I'm not the most—"

Her words cut short as I traced my thumb over her cheek. She looked anxious and hopeful and just so damn beautiful. I leaned forward and placed my lips on her cheek, kissing her softly.

I didn't have the right to ask, but she already knew I was selfish. "Wait for me," I whispered. "Just seven months. Please, wait for me, Bella." Her hands snaked around my waist and hugged me tightly. I could feel her nod against my chest, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

We said our goodbyes a second time, and I had to fight from skipping back to my car. The whole drive home, bales of laughter erupted from within me, unprovoked, but by the thought of Bella wanting me in the same way I wanted her. I had thought, maybe. But to have confirmation…. I felt invincible.

A sudden rush of excitement hit me as the hidden driveway to my childhood home approached. Without much thought to what would happen, I took the turn. For once, I thought I might actually be ready to face my demons.

I shifted anxiously in my seat as I passed the trim greenery, some of my anticipation turning sour. Though I hadn't been down this road in more than four years, I knew it would be well taken care of. I had hired a company to oversee the plant life and maintenance in my absence. The inside, however, I knew would be untouched.

I came to a stop just before the porch and took a deep, shuddering breath. The house was a little worse for wear, but still in good condition, considering its abandonment. My high was fading quickly as memories surfaced, and I tried desperately to push them down as I climbed the steps and unlocked the front door. After a moment's hesitation, I stepped inside.

The air was stale and dust covered every surface. The white sheets that draped the furniture stood as ghosts in a place forgotten. My chest constricted and suddenly it was hard to breathe. I ran down the steps and away from the house before doubling over. I hadn't expected it to be easy, but the emotions stabbing me from all sides were almost more than I could take.

I closed my eyes and thought of Bella. My heart seized again, but in a more pleasant way. I saw her smile, her bottomless eyes, and her beauty. I heard her words of encouragement and compassion. I felt her sincerity, her utter belief in me, and I knew that I could do anything with her behind me. When my gasps changed into deep inhales and slow exhales, I gathered my strength and faced my past.

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**A/N: Ah, the first step... a kiss on the cheek. How quickly the mighty have fallen. *evil laugh* Thanks for reading!**


	14. The Weight of Secrets

**A/N: A special thanks to the pestering few who encouraged me to get my butt in gear. Seriously, I would have had neither the inspiration nor the motivation without you. *Muah!* to everyone who read and reviewed, and thanks for the condolences over my fallen computer. You're all lovely, lovely people. Thanks again to the two behind the curtain who make my mistakes go away. This story would be less than without pwtf and m81170.**

**Recap****:** Edward and Bella met at a coffee shop. Bella told Edward she was going to Florida for Thanksgiving, and he is going to see Rosalie. Upon leaving, he gave Bella a bracelet with the word "Someday" etched on it. Bella told him her feelings, to which Edward kissed her on the cheek and asked her to wait for him.

_**Disclaimer****:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

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~*~The Weight of Secrets~*~

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**Bella**

Most people would think seven minutes is a fairly short amount of time. Even doubled to fourteen minutes, a near quarter of an hour is hardly enough time to do anything. It is, however, enough time to brown parmesan-crusted chicken on both sides. Or it would have been had fourteen minutes not been too long for my father.

"He turned the burner up to max heat while I was in the bathroom," I complained into the phone. I was stewing in my room over the botched cooking lessons. "Two minutes, Alice! I was gone for two minutes, and he somehow managed to burn the chicken, spill the leftover parmesan, and lose the noodles. We still haven't figured out what he did with them."

"Romeo kissed you," Alice responded, as if it fit right into our conversation. I bit my lip to control the smile creeping onto my face, and Alice laughed at my silence. "You are so easy."

I fiddled with the bracelet Edward had given me. I hadn't taken it off since. "Is it natural to still feel this gooey over a week later? He didn't even kiss me on the lips."

"Yeah, but his lips touched your skin."

A violent heat spread through my abdomen, and giggles bubbled up from my chest at the memory. I had been more nervous than I'd ever been, but something in me needed to let him know that he wasn't just a friend to me.

"Do you think he loves me?" asked the dreamy teenage girl inside me, complete with wistful sigh.

"He'd have to," said Alice. "I may not know Romeo as well as you, but I do know he'd never risk his career and integrity over a passing fling. That and he's not trying to sleep with you. He wants you to wait until you're free of the Godforsaken high school."

I wanted to go on and on about all things Edward, but I noticed the frustration in Alice's voice when she mentioned Forks High and knew it was time to be a good friend. After limited coaxing on my end, she let loose on the injustices of high school rules and schedules. Her intern job in Port Angeles was on the line because she couldn't get there in time, and Jasper wasn't being any help at all.

A knock on my bedroom door ended our phone call, and an embarrassed Charlie poked his head into the room. "Hey, Bells. I, uh, found the noodles. They fell beside the stove."

I raised an eyebrow and felt my lip quiver with restrained mirth. With a mumble and a nod, he left the room, and I fell back on my bed, laughing. I loved my father. I really did.

Dinner went well after that. I cooked the noodles, saved the majority of the chicken, and cleaned the mess before sitting down to eat. Charlie seemed relieved to be let out of the kitchen for the remainder of the evening, and we ate in relative good company. As I was clearing the table, he told me a letter had come for me. The plates nearly slipped from my hands when I saw the return address.

I ripped open the envelope and my eyes scanned quickly over the page. When I had read it thoroughly—four times over—I dropped my hand to my side and let out a long breath.

"You okay, Bells?" Charlie asked.

I made a vague, guttural noise in the affirmative, unable to deliver anything more substantial through my mild panic. Curiosity stormed behind his brown eyes, but he left me to my thoughts, for which I was grateful. There was only one person I could talk to about the confusing mixture of fear and elation inside of me.

A restless night meant arriving just as the morning bell chimed through the school. Edward took note of my unusual tardiness with questioning eyes, but made no further attempt to talk to me, instead addressing the class as a whole and leading a fascinating lesson. All his lessons were fascinating, even when I could hardly pay attention.

My leg bounced. My thumb tapped. My body shifted from minute to minute. For the first time since meeting Edward, I couldn't wait for the clock to move faster. His eyes glanced my way more frequently as the morning progressed. He could see my agitation and I could see his worry. When the bell finally excused us from first period, I jolted from my seat and held the letter up to his face.

A slow smile replaced his tense eyes. He seemed almost smug. "Didn't I say you were amazing?"

"I haven't won the scholarship, yet. They still need another story."

"You're one of five finalists out of fifteen thousand applicants, Bella. I'd say that qualifies as amazing. Besides, you have this in the bag."

I scoffed and shook my head, exasperated. This scholarship would pay for my entire schooling, and Edward was treating it like no big deal. Maybe he was only trying to be the calm to my nervous energy, but it wasn't working. This was exactly what Alice was talking about last night with Jasper. I did not have this in the bag!

"Can you help me?" I asked, edging on frantic. "I need to put my best work forward, but I already did that in the first round. What is going to top that? I have nothing."

"Bella, calm down!" Edward laughed and rested his hand briefly on my shoulder. "I have a meeting at lunch, but we'll talk after LitMag."

I nodded, hesitant to leave his support, but returned his beautiful, uninhibited smile and headed off toward Algebra 2/Trigonometry.

At lunch, Alice took one look at me and said in a hungry, excited voice, "What happened?"

Her eyes lit up as she read the letter, and she gave me a hug that nearly knocked me out of my chair. When Jasper joined us, Alice gave him a small smile, but the air between them was not as easy as it had once been. It wasn't until LitMag that I even heard Jasper speak. He wasn't much of a talker to begin with, but he usually had a few words to spare.

"So, Bella," he said as he set the contents of pages four through six on my desk. He stuck his hands in his pockets, opened his mouth, shut it, opened it again, and blew out a long breath. "Do you think we could hang out after this?"

"Um, sure?" I said, and though I didn't want to be rude, I had to ask, "Why? I mean, not that I don't want to hang out with you, but we never really do anything without Alice."

"I know. It's just…" He went through his routine again, adding rocking on his heels to gaping like a fish. Finally, he threw up his hands and let them fall to his sides. "Alice is mad at me right now, and I have no idea what I did."

I chuckled at Jasper's helpless admission. "You want the inside information," I guessed.

"Yes." Jasper sighed, relieved. "She's so passive aggressive sometimes, and when I ask her what's wrong, she gets even more mad at me!"

"I'll help you, but it will have to be later. I have to meet with Mr. Cullen after Litmag is over." He gave me a grateful smile and told me he'd meet me at Sara's Café when I was done.

I tried very hard to focus on my editor duties, but every poem I looked over, every short story I skimmed reminded me of my dilemma. The clock was taunting me. Tick, tock, tick, tock—it was a steady tattoo that didn't seem to move the minute hand an inch. How long until all of these people would leave and I could talk to Edward alone? Edward must have been able to read my anxiousness because he called the meeting over fifteen minutes before we were done. Being so close to the winter deadline, he should have kept us as long as possible, but I was glad he didn't.

We went to work immediately, listing both my completed works and those I was still writing. We each picked our top choices and came up with a few new ideas as well. Eventually, we decided it would have to be something I was already working on, since the deadline was less than a month away.

"Just one more thing to worry about," I said.

Edward raised his eyes from the story he was reading, tilting his head slightly. "Are these serious worries or more teenage hardships?"

I resisted the urge to smack him with my paper stack for teasing me, and said, "I'm trying to teach my dad how to cook, and he's not making it very easy for me. I feel bad leaving him for Thanksgiving."

"I'm sure he'll be fine," said Edward. "He did live on his own for fifteen years before you moved in."

"Filling his arteries with grease," I grumbled. "He's going down to the reservation to eat fish fry. Who eats fish fry on Thanksgiving?"

Edward chuckled and leaned back in his chair. "You're going to have to give it time, Bella. He's set in his ways, and nagging is not the type of thing a man like the Chief will respond to."

"I do not nag!"

"Sure you don't," he said, grinning from ear to ear. "I just like to get your goat."

"Get my goat?" I snorted. "Okay, Mr. Cullen, I think you need a lesson in modern thinking."

"Mmmh," groaned Edward, stretching his arms above his head. I let my eyes rake over where his sweater tightened across his chest and biceps. "It's after five. You can't blame me for what comes out of my mouth this late."

I glanced at the clock and sighed. I supposed it was time to get going. We cleaned up the classroom, gathered our things, and Edward walked me out to the parking lot, making conversation with phrases that should have been left in the decades he was pulling them from.

"See you later, Alligator."

I looked askance at Edward and primly said, "Goodbye, Mr. Cullen."

"Oh, come on!" he said. "You've got to say it."

"I don't think so."

"Bella," he warned playfully.

"Mr. Cullen," I said right back.

"Please?" he asked, all pouty smile and sparkling eyes.

I sighed a loud exaggerated sigh and grumbled, "In a while, Crocodile."

"See? That wasn't so hard."

"Says you. My young soul is breaking right now."

Edward laughed, clear and carefree, and looked as though he might give my shoulder a goodbye squeeze but thought better of it. "Come in before class and we can wheedle down the selection."

"I'll be here, bright and early."

"Bright and early," he repeated.

It was time to leave, but neither of us made a move to do so. It was stupid, really, to be so reluctant to spend fourteen hours away from him, but I hated every single goodbye. Our conversation in Port Angeles was in many ways a release. Then there were moments like this, when I wanted a proper farewell from someone I _knew_ cared about me, and all the wishing in the world would do nothing to change the fact that it could never happen.

"Bella."

Edward and I turned our heads in alarm to see Jasper standing in between his car and my truck, his eyes downcast, purposely not looking in our direction. It was a clear sign he thought he'd seen something he shouldn't.

Edward's eyes found mine, serious and concerned. I tried to smile to let him know everything would be fine, but I wasn't so sure myself. I wasn't sure what Jasper could have seen—Edward and I weren't doing anything wrong—but suspicions and judgments needed little fuel to set the imagination ablaze.

I followed Jasper to Sara's and met him inside. We sat in silence, fiddling with saltshakers, pretending to read the menu, shifting uncomfortably in the booth seats. Jasper was the first to speak.

"I figured I'd just wait around for you. It's easier to do homework in my car, where it's quiet."

I tightened my fingers around the napkin I was picking at, and then set it aside. "That's cool. Um. So, Alice is mad at you?"

"Yeah," Jasper said, and he seemed relieved to be talking about something else. "She goes on and on about how the school is messing with her future, and then she takes it out on me."

"It's more that you don't seem to care."

Jasper looked appalled. "I do! But _Cosmo_ said—"

"_You_ read _Cosmo_?" I asked, my jaw dropping with incredulity and hilarity.

"Whatever," Jasper said, waving a hand nonchalantly, but I could tell he was embarrassed by the deep red his ears were turning. "Alice takes forever to get ready and that sort of thing is always lying around."

"Mmh-hmm," I said.

"Anyway," he looked pointedly at me, "it's not that I don't care or that I don't want to help her. I do. But I kind of think school is important. She's already dropped a class to take this internship, and she's falling behind on her homework."

"Have you told her that?"

"No," Jasper said, pouting and looking down at his soda. "I read that girls want their boyfriends to listen, not try and fix things."

"The problem with _Cosmo_," I tried not to smile as I said it, but realized I failed when Jasper frowned and rolled his eyes, "is that it generalizes all women and all situations. Alice just wants you to support her. Sometimes, supporting someone doesn't mean agreeing with them, but trying to help them through their hard times."

"You sound like a shrink," he said.

"I watch a lot of _Lifetime_ movies."

Jasper gave me a reluctant smile and threw a napkin at me, and the rest of our late lunch was spent discussing ways he could approach Alice and help her find a solution to her problem.

The tense atmosphere that had at first surrounded us began to return as we got ready to leave. Jasper fidgeted as we said goodbye, not able to meet my eyes, and it made me nervous. I retreated the second he was done hugging me, but not before he called out, "Bella, wait."

I turned slowly, dreading the deep, determined breath he took and the way his blue eyes bore into me. "Yeah?"

"I just want you to know that… if you need… Ugh." He rubbed his fingers against his forehead in frustration. It was a moment before he said, "Is he Romeo?"

"Who?" I asked.

"Don't mess with me. You know who."

I could have lied. I wanted to lie, but I couldn't. I nodded.

"All right," he said, somewhat resigned. "Just… be careful. I love you, you know? And this kind of thing… it's not really… I mean, I don't want you hurt, all right?"

"It's not like that," I said quietly.

Jasper rolled his eyes. "Yeah, it's like that. Just… I've got your back."

"Okay," I said, and Jasper nodded, heading off toward his car.

Edward and I cooled it exponentially in the days leading up to Thanksgiving. We still talked and joked if we could, but he kept his distance. There was never any question of impropriety in our meetings.

The weight of my bracelet helped me to ignore the way my heart ached. Someday—Edward's promise to me, sealed with a kiss. With the thought of what our future could hold, it was easy to bury my emotions. It wasn't until my third day in Florida they finally caught up with me. The sun was warm on my skin, a feeling I had craved nearly all my days of living in Forks, yet my mind raced with anxiousness to go back. I missed Edward.

"Bella, honey, are you okay?"

"Hmm?" I looked away from the singular palm tree in the back yard and smiled at the sight of my mother in a floppy purple sun hat. It was large enough to shade her bare shoulders, but was just slightly the wrong color for her blue sundress.

"Is it the scholarship? Is that why you're so distracted? Honey, you have to know how talented you are. And even if you don't win, Phil and I do all right for ourselves. I'm sure we could take out a loan—"

"No, Mom. I already told you that I could work it out. I love you, but you have to let me do this."

Renee shifted her bottom lip from side to side as if struggling either to find words or to hold them back. "Fine," she said after a sigh. "Just know that if you want it, you have it."

"I know, Mom," I said.

We hadn't been poor, by any means, while I was growing up. I'd always had food, clothes, and a roof over my head. I'd had a television in my room and toys overflowing from the chest at the foot of my bed. But coupons were Renee's best friend and a two bedroom apartment had been the only thing we could afford in most of the cities we stayed. Though she and Phil had a bit more spending money now, college tuition would be stretching the limits of their bank account, and I didn't want to take from them what I didn't need to.

"Mr. Cullen is helping me with my entry for the final round, and I feel pretty okay about it. I mean, I know the pieces need work, but he's really good about pumping me up."

Phil popped his head out the door to ask my mom a question, while I let my mind continue wandering. I could imagine Edward sitting with the beautiful blonde woman in his photograph, laughing about times long past. I smiled. I truly wanted that happiness for him.

Renee's fingers snapped in front of my face, her brow drawn down in suspicion and a hidden smirk at the corner of her mouth. "This is about a boy, isn't it?"

"What? No, of course not," I said a little too quickly.

"Oh, it is! Look at that blush!" Renee sat beside me on the picnic bench and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "Tell me all about him. Is he cute? He's got to be smart if he has your attention. I'll bet he's top of the class."

"He doesn't… really… go to my school," I said, and realized belatedly that I was lying. He _did_ go to my school; he just didn't study there. "It doesn't matter. It won't happen."

_Not yet, anyway,_ I hoped.

"Of course it will, baby. You just have to put yourself out there. Any boy would be lucky to have you."

"It's not that," I said, debating on how much to say.

It was harder for me to resist my mother's charms in person. I really did want her advice, and Heaven knew she wasn't going to give up until she got everything she could get out of me. But this was Edward. Even though I wanted to shout to the world how much I loved him, I could never do anything to jeopardize his career. Perhaps if I left out his name and any identifying details, I could talk about him. As great as Alice was, I really wanted my mom to know about Edward, at least in some small way.

"He's older," I said cautiously. "We've talked a little about how we feel, but there's this huge barrier between us."

I watched Renee's smile falter, and then flatten into a thin line. "How much older?" she tried to ask casually.

"Twenty-three."

Renee let out a heavy breath and laughed. "Dear God, Bella, by your tone I thought he would be forty!" Her eyes softened into wistful resignation. "I always knew it would be an older boy. Or… I guess he would be a man, wouldn't he? You've been a little woman all your life, so grown up for someone so small. Bella, honey, if he makes you happy, don't let this stop you."

"Really?" I asked. "You're really okay with it?"

"As long as he treats you right, I don't think I have any say. You have to follow your heart, baby."

I wrapped my arms around her neck and held tight. "Thank you so much, Mom."

"All right, now tell me why you don't think you can be together."

Frustrations and fears of the last couple months—the last year, if I was honest—came bubbling to the surface. I made sure to keep my sentences vague, only abstractly mentioning Edward's wish to wait until I graduated and never even hinting at his profession. The weight on my shoulders lifted as I spoke. I hadn't realized how worried I'd been about my mom's approval.

Renee knew I wasn't telling her everything. She would often ask direct questions I couldn't answer. She would smile when I deflected, but I could see some motherly concern in her eyes. It took everything I had not to give in and tell her the rest, and by the time I boarded the plane to go home, I was exhausted. Who knew evasion could be so tiring?

I met with Edward on Monday, excited to see him after the long weekend. He beamed when I entered the classroom a half-hour before the bell. "How was your Thanksgiving?" he asked.

"Fun. I had some long-needed girl time with my mom, you know, talking about boys," I teased. "She, uh, trusts me… to know who I want to be with. What about you?"

He shrugged. "Nothing special. Just had a small get together with my sister. We made plans for Christmas."

I smiled and ached to reach out and hold him. To anyone else, we were making small talk, but in fact, I had given him reaffirmation of how I felt about him, that we would be together in just six months, and he had been brimming with emotion at his small step in repairing his relationship with Rosalie.

"Do you have some time to go over my scholarship options?" I asked to keep myself in check.

We spent the next twenty minutes looking over the pieces we both liked. I really wanted to stick with a life's lessons story about a girl and her sisters, but Edward was encouraging me to go with something a little more daring—a political thriller I'd fooled around with over the past few months. I wasn't at all comfortable with letting what was basically a personal experiment decide my future.

"Will you just listen to me for a minute without closing me out?" Edward asked, aggravation lacing his words. I pursed my lips but nodded for him to continue. "_Crisscross Girls_ is safe. It's what someone would expect an eighteen-year-old girl to send in. But this… this will make them think. It will make them remember you."

"Yeah, they'll remember a shoddy attempt to be something I'm not."

"Why?" he said, tossing down the story. "Why can't you ever admit how absolutely wonderful, and talented, and brilliant you are?"

Heat flooded my cheeks. Before our coffee date, I would have written off his words as being strictly about my stories. With all that I now knew, there wasn't any way I could miss Edward's passion and see that he meant all of me.

The impulse to lean in and kiss him was powerful. Perhaps Edward could feel it, too, because in the next second he was rattling on about a well-placed word here or a subtle foreshadowing there and avoiding my eyes at all cost. As his other students trickled into the room for class, the bubble of closeness burst completely, forcing me into my seat and miles away from everything I had felt only minutes before.

I worked closely with Edward every day, whether for LitMag or my scholarship, yet the distance between us was like a great chasm. When others were around, Edward was cool and detached. He aided me where necessary and treated me like anyone else; I was nothing to him in those moments. It was easier to remember the kiss he had placed on my cheek and his plea for me to wait for him when we were alone. Though we never crossed into the realm of personal, there were implications and meaningful looks and secret smiles that we could get away with when no one else was watching.

It was harder than I had anticipated. Seven months seemed longer now than it had in the café parking lot. The first month had been an eternity of increasing frustrations and uncertainty, and I wasn't sure what effect the next six would have on my sanity. I knew my feelings for Edward. I knew that he was the only one for me. It was his feelings that troubled me. I didn't know them. I didn't know if I was the only one for _him_. I had been so sure at the beginning, but time had eroded my confidence like waves across a crumbling rock.

I wasn't as talented as Edward in hiding my emotions. I tried, but I often found myself scowling and hurt when he gave me nothing more than a "very good" or "nicely done." Every time I attempted to force myself away from the doubt, doubt pushed back with vengeance.

It was late December. Winter vacation meant Edward and I would be apart for two weeks without even our disguised small talk to take the edge off. I started noticing the pucker between Edward's eyebrows as he glanced at me in worry, and it slowed the storm tearing up my insides. If he was worried for me, that meant he cared. I felt foolish and angry with myself. Loving someone meant trusting him, and I trusted Edward with my life.

We were looking over the finished issue of LitMag on the last day before vacation. Edward wasn't happy with the arrangement on page nine, but overall he thought the magazine was a success. We already had several comments from the student body about their favorite pieces. When we had finished laughing about a particularly witty review, Edward turned toward me and seemed to be considering what to say.

"You look better today. You've been… out of sorts lately."

"Oh, that," I said, laughing nervously. I could feel my cheeks heat. "I was stressed over graduation and how far away it is. My mind was blocked, but I'm working on it."

"Was it very hard on you?" Edward asked, that worry wrinkle making an appearance between his eyebrows. I shook my head, unable to find words, but Edward knew I was lying. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I did it to myself."

"I have to take some of the responsibility. I haven't been giving you the… attention that you deserve, as my student. I'm sorry."

"Please don't blame yourself," I whispered, breaking pretenses for the first time since the café. "It was me. I was letting myself get caught up in what was happening instead of trusting you. It was my own fault."

Edward sat back and stared me, tapping his pen on the desk. The worry wrinkle was still there, but there was something else going on behind his eyes. Finally, he sighed, shook his head, smiled, and said, "Charles Dickens is on your reading list for next semester." I blinked, taken aback by the change in topic. "I'm going up to Seattle to see A Christmas Carol on the nineteenth, the matinee showing."

My eyes widened. Every year of Edward's childhood, the Cullen family would make a trip to The Allen Theatre to see ACT's production of A Christmas Carol. This would be the first year since his parents' deaths that he would attend.

"You should try to see it if you get the chance." He swallowed and cleared his throat. "I'm sure the theatre could use your support."

There was no question in my mind that Edward was really the one asking for support. This would be hard for him and he needed me. I nodded. "Of course. I'll get up there to see it."

Edward smiled, relieved. "Good. That's good."

We didn't talk much after that, and only then about LitMag. I fell into bed when I got home, and as I stared up at the ceiling, I started to cry. I felt stupid for doubting Edward, relieved to know I was being stupid, and so immensely happy that now, after weeks of resigning myself to polite, impersonal conversation, I was going to be with him, free to do and say as I pleased. It wasn't going to fix the next six months, I would have to work on that myself, but it was a gift of reassurance and hope for the future.

* * *

**A/N: Looks like the lovebirds are having a rough time of it. What do you think? There seems to be a debate over if they'll give in or wait the 6 months to graduation. Decisions, decisions...**

**Thanks for reading!**


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